My neighbors drive a Lexus. They have a personalized license plate. It says:

THKSLRD

Now, this makes me really jealous. Apparently, Jesus gave these people a Lexus and all he ever gave me was some teenage guilt and confusion. Maybe if Jesus would have given me a car I would have stuck with that whole church thing rather than skipping merrily down the path of heathen bliss which certainly leads straight to hell. So I would like to hereby officially offer to give the religion thing another shot, provided that Jesus provides me with a new car. I think I would like a Mercedes, but if all he has is a Lexus I will take it.

Earlier today, I saw another car with a personalized license plate. This one said:

GOD IS L

And now, suddenly it all makes sense to me. God is L. It is so simple! So obvious! I am going to take to the street corner immediately and begin preaching the gospel of L. Asking people if they have accepted L as their personal savior. Maybe handing out L refrigerator magnets or little L bobble dolls for dashboards. I am also working on bumper stickers that say "My boss is the 12th letter of the alphabet" and t-shirts that say "L Loves You." I am going to lead the world to peace and enlightenment through a deeper and fuller understanding of L.

Just as soon as Jesus comes through with my car.