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Melonhead

As I have mentioned, lately my biological clock has been ticking like a freaking time bomb and giving me the uncontrollable urge to procreate. So I find myself making mental lists of reasons why I should and should not have a baby. For example: Pro - baby eyelashes. Con - baby poop. Last night, I had a startling and disturbing realization that changed the entire equation.

I have a great big melon head.

I got it from my father, who also has a great big melon head and who apparently comes from a long line of melonheaded people. I have been melonheaded since birth. In fact, my mother had to have a cesarean entirely because of my freakishly large head. As if the idea of childbirth isn't scary enough, I now have to deal with the very real possibility that I will be giving birth to a Talosian.

I am so getting a puppy instead.

Comments (2)

You too? I'm embarassed whenever I have to get new glasses, because very few frames fit my giant head. Sigh.

Luckily, my daughter DID NOT inherit my freakishly large cranium.

Oh my God, I realized a few weeks ago that BOTH my boyfriend and I have Very Large Heads.

I told him that I very seriously considered breaking up with him over it, but he was cool enough that I was willing to let it go. For now. As long as he lets me swear at him and blame him for everything should I ever have to give birth to our freakish Big Headed Baby.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

Meet the Fish

I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.


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