Oh, did I say that already? Damn.
See, there have been a lot of new people around here the last few days. And see, I? Have this thing? With new people? Where I? Turn into a pumpkin. Seriously. It is like my fairy godmother shows up but she is drunk or mad at me for borrowing her shoes or something and poof! Bam! Bang! I am a pumpkin. (While I'm on the subject, if any of you ever actually run into me, you should totally come say hi and try to talk to me. You will get a good old jolly laugh out of watching me turn into a pumpkin right before your very eyes. It is so much more fun in person.)
Anyway, you know what pumpkins do right? Nothing. No thing. Certainly not talk. Nooooo.
Dum da dum. Dum da dum. Dum da..
Wait! Stop! No more pumpkin! But now what do I do? Talk! Talking is good. I'll tell jokes! No wait, bad idea. What if the jokes aren't funny and nobody laughs and they all just point and go hey get a load of that pumpkin trying to be funny. No jokes.
I've got it! I will be a brainiac! That will be Impressive and Elucidating and Awe-Inspiring! I can be a brainiac on a wide variety of topics, such as Gothic cathedrals or DNS routing or the Sistine Chapel or comparative religion. Or how about Greek mythology? Or just Greek! Yes, that's it! I will speak Greek and you will all be so impressed you will love me immediately and buy me gifts!
No, wait. Bad idea again. Pumpkin. Pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin.
So anyway, hello new people. I am happy that you are here and I would give you all great big hugs except that I am having this little pumpkin problem right now and pumpkins have no arms. I will get over myself soon and go back to whining and complaining and posting all the crazy things in my head because I have no shame. And in the meantime, you should check out my blogroll because it is full of truly Impressive and Elucidating and Awe-Inspiring people and you will madly madly love them. Swear.