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Dear Internet

I have suddenly realized an excellent new use for this internet thing! It can solve all your problems! From now on, I am turning all of my problems over to the internet. I expect this will be a bit like turning your problems over to god, only with more snarky comments. Don't let me down internet, I'm counting on you!

Dear Internet,

I have a very dear and wonderful friend, we'll call him Lester. (We are calling him Lester because he would hate hate hate being called Lester, and that is the kind of friend I am.) Lester and I have been friends for years, since way back before either of us even considered turning 30 and also since before I was married and I have been married forever so that's a good long time. We clicked immediately the first time we met and have been close ever since. We've had a lot of fun and great times together, and have also gone through a lot of tragedy and pain together. He is closer to me than anyone in the world to whom I am not legally related. (As an aside, Lester is currently dating a woman named Beth. This is very confusing for me, but she flat out refuses to change her name. Some people just have no consideration for their fellow man.)

Here's my problem: Lester believes in his heart of hearts that my birthday is three days earlier than it really is. Last year he sent me a really nice birthday card, three days early. When it came up, I very nicely mentioned to him that I loved the card but that is was, in fact, three days early. We went to lunch last week and the subject of birthdays came up somehow and he proudly announced that he always remembered that my birthday was the 11th. It's the 14th. I really don't care if he is three days or three months off, I am touched that he makes the effort to remember my birthday. My question, dear internet, is whether I should correct him again or just let it go and never mention it again.

Help me, internet, I don't know where else to turn!

Update: It really doesn't bother me that he has the day wrong. My question is, if you were very good friends with someone, would it bother you to find out that you had their birthday wrong for, say, 20 years or something? Should I tell him now to avoid that happening?

Comments (9)

Just let it go. At this point, there is nothing you can do. Poor Lester has it firmly engraved in his brain that your birthday is the 11th, and so that's when it is. End of Story. Just nod, smile, and move along.

And, on the bright side, he'll never be late with a card! Even if he thinks he is by a day or two!

I would let it go too unless it really bothers you. Is there a reason why he would need to know the correct date? When things like this happen I ask myself "How important is it?"
I think it is cool you have a friend that still remembers your birthday and sends you a card! ;)

better early than late....and as least he got the month right....at least he is in the correct ballpark....don't get too frustrated that he throws to first when you told him to throw home (i love bad analogies ;) )

He remembers your birthday at all...so what if he is a day or two off. Remember it's the thought and how would you feel if someone told you you've been dead wrong for 20 years?

I have a friend (and I'll call her Jenny, because that's her name) who I have known for years. I am consistently a month late in her birthday celebration. She accepts this because she says it extends the joy that much longer. I'd say if you could adopt Jenny's mentality, Lester would appreciate it.

Hmm..while it may make the guy a bit uncomfortable to know he's had it wrong all these years, finding some way to break it to him would be best in my humble opinion. Make him smile, feel much appreciated for getting so darn close to the actual date, and let him know. It is possible that someone that *does* know your correct birthdate could bring it up sometime.. Like.. "Yeah, Beth and I went out for drinks last Friday for her on her birthday.." Or if he see's your drivers license at some point.. Just something to consider, but if it were me, I'd rather feel just a little silly while sharing laughs with my friend for not knowing the real date, discussing how it may have come about where I got the wrong date, than to be humiliated somehow, and feel like a pudd for them just letting me make a bigger pudd of myself in the future. It wouldn't hurt to tell him you've had a difficult time bringing it up because you didn't want him to feel silly, and it should go fine!

And you don't have fat-calf-itis. The internet knows.. ;-)

Oooh, a tricky question. I love those. I say, draw his attention to this post...

My favorite aunt used to send me a card every year which arrived exactly on the eighth of December. My birthday is exactly on the ninth. I never really thought much of it, other than maybe she liked to send the card out early to make sure it got to me in time.

Sure enough, one day, she asked me if I got the card and added, "I always try to make sure it comes on the eighth - your actual birthday."

See, she was telling me how thoughtful she was being, but did I hesitate to crush her and her good intentions right then and there? A little. Maybe. But, I told her anyway, because it had to be done.

Wonder if I'll get a card this year. Hmm.

yeah, it's probably too late for him to learn a new date.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
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I am freakishly flexible.


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