When my charming, rock star husband (Hi Honey!) has too little sleep and too little food he turns into a great big steaming pile of cranky. Last night, this raging crankiness led to one of our favorite fights.* I mean, this belongs on the Marital Spat Greatest Hits release. It is:
(dum, dum, dum)
What to have for dinner.
We can argue for hours about what to have for dinner. It usually goes something like this:
He: What do you want for dinner?
Me: Anything you want is fine with me.
He: No, I asked what you wanted to do.
(Insert 10 minute argument over which one of us is being a royal pain in the ass, each insisting that we personally are loving and understanding spouses of the highest order.)
Me: Well, how about this, or that, or the other thing?
He: Fine. Whatever.
Me: If you don't want any of those, just tell me what you want.
He: I said they were fine.
Me: But you don't mean they are fine. You have that tone.
(Insert 20 minute interlude of fighting about the tone of each others voices.)
Me: Look, just pick something.
He: I already said the other thing.
Me: (Bring up something he did 8 years ago that annoyed me.)
(Insert 20 minutes of arguing about the thing from 8 years ago.)
(Insert 10 minutes on why I always bring up old fights rather than focusing on the current fight.)
Last night, just as we were getting warmed up, we decided to go out for Thai instead. Argument averted, crankiness mollified. I called for reservations:
Me: Hi. I'd like a reservation for 2 at 7:00.
Hostess: No problem. Your name?
Me: Crankypants. Mr. and Mrs. Crankypants
* I should probably mention that the hubby and I hardly ever fight.** At least not for long. It usually doesn't take long before one of us says something ridiculous or sticks a sofa cushion up their nose and we both crack up and decide to go see what's on Tivo.
** We did have a minor argument last night over who took who off their blogroll first. We also negotiated what it would take to reinstate mutual blogroll positioning. I like to think of it as détente.***
*** I may be kicking off a diplomatic crisis by writing about his rampant crankiness, but I am an authoritarian regime and can do what I want.