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Yoga Wisdom

I learned three important and deep and meaningful things in yoga class tonight.

1) The universe likes to hear positive statements, not negative statements. So intead of saying "I want to have less stress" you should say "I want to feel more peaceful."

2) If your stomach is feeling a bit unsettled, in the sense that you are emitting noxious odors with alarming frequency, perhaps you should reconsider your decision to participate in yoga today. Short of that, you should at least reconsider your decision to put your mat next to me. Pretty pretty please with triangle pose on top?

3) Eighteen year old boys still think I'm hot. I know this because one asked me out. Poor baby.

Comments (6)

oh you lucky dog. what i wouldn't give for an 18 year old boy right about now...oh, whoops, did i say that out loud?

A couple of 22-year olds were competing for my attention last year while I was out with some friends. I'm STILL living off that ego boost.

I guess I'm too young....I still find 18 year old boys annoying and somewhat retarded

I used to take yoga with a man who not only passed gas throughout the entire class, but routinely snored through the meditation time. Joyful.

But you see... saying "I want it to be sunny and warm" doesn't let the frustration out like "Christ on a cracker, could it stop raining for ONE DAY this summer? And could the temperature please climb enough so I can stop wearing a jacket when I go out? CAN I HAVE A SUMMER PLEASE?????? GODDAMN YOU SWEDEN!!"

See, I feel much better after the second one.

Haaa! What I get stuck on in yoga is the melodramatic guided meditation- "pretend your stress is balled up in a dark cloud that is floating away over a peaceful sea..." I know its meant to be relaxing, but I can't stop laughing.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

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Clive Owen

Clive Owen
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