First, I want to thank you all for helping and supporting me in this very difficult time. I appreciate the effort and thought you all put into the more than 60 yummy boys you recommended for the position of my new Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend.
This has been a very tough decision. Part of the difficulty is that that I still really want to pick Jude, because I've loved Jude so long it's hard to walk away. Why did you have to turn out to be a schmuck, Jude? Why?
Also, I should have said from the beginning that I am not considering rock stars. For one thing, I'm already married to a rock star so having a rock star Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend just seems a little redundant. Also, if I were going to choose a rock star it would be Dave Matthews and frankly, that is not up for discussion. I don't even care what he looks like because his voice is so amazing that sometimes when I hear it I have to go lie down for a few minutes to recover. That's why I love Dave Matthews always and forever and also why I don't listen to him on the treadmill anymore. Don't lie down on the treadmill people, take it from me.
I'm sticking firmly to the nobody under 30 rule, even though that eliminates so many worthy competitors. I'm just not ready for a boy toy yet, and when I am I plan to do it right, a la Demi and Ashton.
Jason Bateman does nothing for me. Matthew McConaughey makes me twitch, and not in a good way. I'm saving Johnny Depp for later because he just keeps getting better and I don't think he's done yet. Ewan McGregor lost me with the mountain man on a motorcycle look. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Hugh Grant are too mainstream and as an added bonus Hugh is too slimy. John Cusack will always be Lloyd Dobler to me and I love him for that and don't want to ruin what we already have together.
All of these options have sort of confused and upset me. So, while I have made a choice, I'm not willing to commit my undying love because now I'm worried that I'll change my mind and regret my choice and it will be just another bad relationship which will make both of us unhappy and we will end up hating each other and not even be able to remember the things that made us fall so madly in love in the first place. No, instead I'm taking this one slow and am just saying that this is my Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend "for now," and we'll just have to wait and see how it goes and then later if it's working out we can talk about the loving forever and ever until the shark jumping.
And so, without further ado, my new Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend is:
Clive Owen.
I've decided to love him even though King Arthur sucked so bad because of the eyes and that chin. Oh. My. God. Have you seen that chin? Go look at it for a minute, I'll wait.
And also, he's 6'2". 6'2". 6'2".
I called him to let him know the news and now we are in love. He wanted to take me to Venice to celebrate, but I told him to take me to Paris instead because in Paris there are more places for him to buy me pretty, pretty things.
We're both very happy with the way this worked out, and thank you again for your support.
Comments (21)
Good choice. Although, not having seen King Arthur, my first reaction was "Who?"
Still. Wise choice. Which means more John Cusak for me.
Posted by Dawnie | August 4, 2004 2:42 PM
good choice.....I am very impressed with your powers of concentration...you had some very tough choices to make
Posted by Casey | August 4, 2004 2:58 PM
Excellent choice. Now that I think about it, Clive would have been a great choice for the next James Bond. The King Arthur movie wasn't awful. It was a fun in a nearly inaccurate movie type way. Well I liked it. I have a thing for swashbuckling though. I'm a sucker for a guy and a sword.
I hope the two of you will be blissfully happy until he's talked into doing a Matrix movie.
Posted by Karen | August 4, 2004 3:22 PM
Two words. YUM.MEEE.
Posted by donna | August 4, 2004 4:06 PM
phew...i've never even heard of him. i'm just glad you didn't pick one of my boyfriends cuz then i'd have to pop a cap in yo azz.
Posted by laura | August 4, 2004 4:36 PM
Most excellent choice!!!!! Can I have him too?
Posted by Amy | August 4, 2004 4:44 PM
Thank you for not trying to interfere with my relationship with Anthony Michael Hall. I don't know what I would do if he weren't my Pretend Celebrity Baby Daddy.
Posted by erin | August 4, 2004 4:49 PM
Good choice and frankly a relief. I had been missing Matt seranading me with the bongos and was rethinking giving him away so easily.
Posted by Hudson | August 4, 2004 4:51 PM
Ah yes, Clive Owen. I thought he was sexy ever since I saw "Gosford Park". Yeah, he's pretty damn hot.
Posted by Kristi | August 4, 2004 5:12 PM
I'm ust glad you didn't pick Ewan McGregor, or as I like to call him, Ew.
Posted by Sheryl | August 4, 2004 5:21 PM
ah...he is yummy older man material. and as a sidenote, you crack me up. you are so refreshing :)
Posted by tiffanie | August 4, 2004 7:45 PM
OH MY GOD!
Did we forget Viggo Mortenson?
Posted by Pamalamadingdong | August 4, 2004 8:16 PM
I do love me some Clive Owen (no worries ... he's all yours!). Have you seen his BMW films? I watched them online and then signed up and they sent me the DVD. FREE!! Of him being all hot driving hot cars around.
If you want it, it's yours. After all, I don't need to watch it again. He's not MY boyfriend!
Posted by DeAnn | August 4, 2004 10:02 PM
Hi! I've yet to comment so don't be surprised if you're like "who the heck is this..."
I just have to say these past couple posts on this topic have been hilarious. THANK YOU for bringing a smile to a rather grumpy lately face ;)
But um, CLIVE OWEN...maybe I'm not as cultured movie-wise as I like to believe but I'm not even sure who he is save your mention of his role in Arthur. How could you pass up JOHNNY for him? *shakes head* If you don't appreciate Mr. Depp, I'll take him ;) Oh yes, I'll take him!!
I hope you and Clive are deeply happy together and nice to meet you ;)
Posted by Rebecca | August 4, 2004 10:15 PM
Ah, he's a good choice.
I'm glad that Michael Vartan is mine, ALL MINE.
I was also going to suggest Woody Harrelson - usually, the bald granola-y type doesn't do it for me, but he was just so charming on "Will and Grace" that I've developed a massive crush on him too. But he comes in a distant second to Michael.
Ah, Michael.
Posted by jacinthe | August 4, 2004 11:13 PM
May I compliment you on your excellent taste. :) I've been in love with Clive ever since I first saw him in the BMW films. In fact, when I bought my first training bimmer, I contemplating christening it "Baby Clive", but sadly, that wouldn't fit on my vanity plate. Alas! Now excuse me while I stare longingly into those darling eyes...
Posted by Heather | August 4, 2004 11:41 PM
Hmmmmm --- I have to think about this one...He seems like he could be the heartbreaking kind -- we wouldn't want that... plus -- he's got that weird non-symetry thing going on with his face -- take a look for yourself -- the picture above -- take a piece of paper and cover one side -- then the other --- very different -- maybe he has a very dark side we haven't seen yet? I say you give keep him in a probationary state -- arms-length for awhile -- don't go too fast...
Posted by bob | August 5, 2004 9:50 AM
I have absolutely no idea who this person is. But a good choice I'm sure ;)
Posted by Tjej | August 5, 2004 11:24 AM
Personally, my crush is on Viggo. Mostly when he's Aragorn. But watched him in 28 days, and the shirtless scene caused me heart palpitations. Much to the amusement of the guys I was watching the movie with. ;)
Posted by Heather | August 5, 2004 7:10 PM
How are you at sharing?
Posted by Elizabeth | August 6, 2004 10:06 AM
I can dig it. Also, more Colin Firth for me. Also also, your observation that Depp's not "done" yet cracks me up for some reason.
Posted by Fraulein N | August 10, 2004 8:50 AM