I have many shortcomings. In fact, I have so many that I am considering making a list and using that as my "100 Things." I think that would be rip-snortingly funny, but I'm afraid that nobody else would see the humor. Um, where was I? Oh yes, I have many shortcomings, but when it comes to interviewing I rock the casbah.
I had an interview this morning. They loved me. I was impressive and erudite and clever. I bantered! Wittily! I gave concrete examples to demonstrate my skills and experience, and some of them were even true. I was smart. My god, after 4 months of turning my brain into mush by staring at spreadsheets I had totally forgotten that I was smart! I even flashed a little leg just to make up for the fact that my face looked like it had spent the weekend as a doormat. I can do this! I am not going to die sad and alone and under-employed! It was a deeply moving experience.
Sadly, I am not at all qualified for the position. Oh well, can't have everything.