I am totally stressed out and having to devote a lot of energy to maintaining a constant state of low-grade panic, therefore I have very little attention to spare to devote to coming up with coherent posts. I'm just going to post some random thoughts until the page looks kinda full and then I will go back to freaking out about something or other full time.

There is a 2 lb. package of raw chicken in the fridge in my office. Well, not in my actual office, the fridge in the kitchen down the hall from my office. This disturbs me on a number of levels.

I ironed before coming to work this morning. I never iron anything, and one of the main factors that keeps me from looking for a new job is that in my current job I rarely wear anything that needs to be ironed. For some reason this morning, I decided that I needed to wear a new skirt I got last week that had to be ironed before I could wear it. I think it was a stress reaction. When I put the skirt on it still had the tags on it so I pulled them out over the waistband so I would remember to cut them off. Obviously I came to work with the tags still on the skirt and still hanging out over the waistband in back.

Last night in yoga class we were instructed to "blossom our buttocks." I'm not entirely clear on how one would accomplish that feat. We were also told that we were being supported by the same force that supports the stars and the planets. To me, that means that we live in a vacuum, but maybe physics is different for the crazy yoga lady.

I am very frightening at 5 am. I'm considering taking a picture of myself tomorrow morning and selling it as the basis for a fright mask for Halloween. No kidding people, not something you want to meet in a dark alley.

I'm going to the optometrist tonight after work and to the gynecologist first thing tomorrow morning. I'm really focusing on not getting these two things confused.

I know I write about the gym a lot, but I spend a lot of time there trying to keep my butt from collapsing onto the back of my thighs. When I leave every morning, the guy at the desk asks me if I had a good workout. This really annoys me for no good reason that I can explain.