so the fish said...
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I'm evil!

There's a fax machine right outside my office that has not worked in about 9 months because the phone line was disconnected. When I first realized the fax was not working, I put a helpful sign on it to alert my coworkers so they would not try to use it and leave the thing beeping outside my office all day. The sign didn't work, people ignored it. So then, I called the helpdesk and asked them to come up and install a new phone line. They did, it worked once, and then for some unknown reason it stopped working again. I put the sign back up and would cheerfully notify people who ignored the sign and used the fax that it was broken. Since I never used the fax and had already devoted minutes and minutes to solving the problem, I felt it was someone else's turn to take the initiative and call the helpdesk.

Anyway, the sign has since disappeared and I am apparently the only person in the building who has figured out that the fax is broken and has been for 9 months. Now it's a popularity contest outside my office door. If I like you? I will cheerfully remind you that the fax machine doesn't work and suggest you go down the hall to the next one. If you aggravate the crap out of me? Happy Faxing!

This has proven to be an excellent system for me since there are only two types of people in this world; the people who I love madly and want to take to lunch or maybe make out with a little bit, and the people who annoy the ever-living crap out of me. I am all about absolutes. (I love all of you by the way, wanna make out?)

Comments (19)

i think this is an awesome system as well. and there's nothing more annoying - well maybe there is but it's still damn annoying - to try to send a fax and the fax machine is messed up. I avoid it as much as possible.

but making out? I like to engage in that practice as much as possible. With whoever is around. ;)

I think you should put a baseball bat next to the broken fax machine and see which of your "unliked" coworkers breaks it first. You could even start a pool with your "liked" coworkers to see which one will snap first.

At my office, I am in the same role as you. I assume responsibility for things that no one else wants to, cares to, or knows how to do. At first I was pissed that I was stuck being responsible for all the random crap around the office. Then I realized, much like you, that I could use this knowledge to benefit myself.

*wanna make out?* No? lunch maybe? No? oh. okay, I'll see you around then....

Make out? Whatever will Clive say about that? Not to mention, you know, your husband? ;-)

As a former help desk flunky..I thank you on behalf of your help desk department for not alerting to the broken fax machine that would have no doubt come in between call after call of
"I'm locked out of my email"
"I can't log on to the network"
"Can you reset my pass word"
"is it bad if I just unplug it?"
The fax machine? Might just be the straw that broke the camels back. For me? It was a network printer.
Your help desk department loves you.

no I will not make out with you!...but lunch...lunch sounds good:)....isn't that one of those weird constants in this world that in every office there is at least one thing broken at any one time?

Well yeah, I intended to make out a little when you and I get married by Elvis in Vegas someday, I' FAX you the details later

That is some power you wield over there in that office. As you know, power can be used for good or evil...and evil is so much more fun.

Evil would be taking the fax machine and stuffing it in the supply closet, which is what I would've done by now.

I'm also all about absolutes. I speak only in superlatives. I LOVE it or I HATE it.

And you? I love.

Let's do make out (or at least do the lunch thing).

I think you should remove the fax machine.

When a coworker wants to know what happened to the fax machine, you can look at them like they are crazy and reply "What fax machine?"

Making out? If I remember, that has something to do with, uh, sex or something, doesn't it? I mean, what if people just got carried away and, well ... carried on Think about the consequences, for heaven's sake!


Negative on the Make out scene...but I love that you pick and choose the good people around and ignore the stupid! *grin* I am an evil queen of my office as well!

That sounds like something I would do. Or have done. Actually I did worse. We had a folding machine in our area, that Finance always wanted to use to fold checks. But as you might know, a folding machine is really freakin' loud. So when I was really needing the relative quiet of our area, I would remove the power cord and hide it so Finance couldn't use the machine. I know it's bad, but I it was only done out of desperation and only for an hour at the most.

Too funny! I'll have to remember that one...loved your site!

Make out? Sure! need to close your office door so that you may remain blissfully unaware of the noise that permeates around the fax. Then you can be an equal-opportunity evil person, and torture those you hate and love equally!

Power corrupts. ;)

That sounds familiar ;) I would often "forget" to tell people that certain papers they were looking for weren't in the same location in our shared shelving thingy. I hadn't MOVED THEM - that'd be rude - but I always seemed to be the only one who could find things once the admin in the office organized them. And the people I didn't like I'd listen to them going "Where the heck is the HELOC organizer!!??" and just cackle silently in my cube.


And the lounge on the 3rd floor is great for making out ;)

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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