I am back at work after my four day weekend and not at all happy about it. Don't you all feel sorry for me? I didn't think so.
First of all, I feel I have to come clean and admit that the only reason I have the remarkably clear skin and small pores that the aesthetician so admired is that I have promised my first born child to my dermatologist in exchange for magical potions that cleared up the adult acne that had been hounding me for the last several years. Also I feel I should mention that while the aesthetician noted my clear skin and small pores, she also pointed out to me that my hair looked like shit and that I really ought to try to do something about it. She was one of those tough-love spa technicians. She did not tell me that my thighs are too flabby to be seen in public, but she did tell me in detail about the time a big and burly professional football player came in to have his armpits waxed. She also told all the failings and foibles of the spa owner, because, you know, that's what I was there for. She had this habit of laughing at everything I said (clearly, since I am really just that funny) and then waiting 10 seconds or so and laughing about it again. Not sure what that was about, I think either it was overkill sucking up to the client or else she laughed the first time to be polite and then laughed the second time when she got the joke. All in all, too chatty but very nice and she made me all pretty and glowy and nice, so I guess we are even.
I was going to do this whole post about how life is like the Showcase Showdown on Price is Right, but the metaphor kinda fell apart while I was drying my hair this morning and so I gave it up. However, I would like to give all of you the opportunity to step in and take over where I have so clearly failed. If anyone has any brilliant ideas about how life is like the Showcase Showdown on Price is Right please let me know, although if you do have ideas I will probably steal them because I am really dedicated to this idea and want to make it work.
Finally, I watched Gosford Park this weekend. I was not that impressed by Clive's performance. I'm going to give him another chance, but if he doesn't shape up I might have to trade him in on a newer model.