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Humor Me

Ok guys, humor me for a minute, would you? I promise I'm not just whoring for comments. Really. Well, maybe just a little, but that isn't my main goal. See the thing is, I'm wondering who all you people are? So I thought we would all play a game, and everyone can play even if you and I are already engaged or planning to run off to Canada together, but also maybe some of you who have never said hello will decide to humor me and play too. Please? Or else I will whimper and cry like a sad sad little puppy dog?

Here are the rules:
- You do not have to leave a url or email address if you don't want to. If you don't want to leave an email address, you can use mine (beth at thisdomain).

- You may not be nasty or rude or call me a comments slut. If you do I will cry and then I will delete your comment and then I will cry some more. I'm sensitive.

- You have to tell me one totally random and utterly useless fact about you. Bonus points for bringing the funny, but not required.

I will go first.

One totally random and utterly useless fact about Beth:
I have, right this very minute, cotton balls stuffed in the toes of my shoes. I accidentally bought the shoes half a size too big so they fall off when I walk. I hit upon the cotton ball idea last night and it seems to be helping. There are three cotton balls in my left shoe and five cotton balls in my right shoe. Once I develop and large a loyal cult following I plan to auction the cotton balls on eBay.

Extra added bonus random and utterly useless fact about Beth:
When I was a kid, my friend and I formed a secret club called Guiding Light which met in her closet and required tying a flashlight to the clothesrod and turning it on. No, I have no idea what the point was.

Hey - don't tell anybody about the cotton ball thing, ok? That is just between you and me.

(BTW, I rocked the interview.)

Comments (70)

I cannot burp. Really. Sometimes I do, but it's rare, completely on accident, and never when I really need to. This makes drinking carbonated things very uncomfortable. Beer - love it. Can't drink it. Diet Coke - love it, but shouldn't drink it. I try to limit myself to a soda every other day. I just get all bloated and then eventually get hiccups. My mom tells me that I was really born with the hiccups. So I am a pro at getting rid of hiccups. Seriously. if you ever need tips, I know all the remedies.

Cotton balls? That is genius. Genius. I usually use tissue, but it gets all hard and icky by the end of the day. But cotton balls... hmmm....

Sorry, this is about me, isn't it? Hmmm...

I used to have a belly button piercing in college. I took it out and let it close up less than a year after I got it, because it wouldn't heal right. My choices were either take it out, or give up wearing pants. Sadly, Cleveland isn't warm enough to forgo pants in the winter, so out it came.

Random Useless Fact about Myllissa:

I have never, NEVER passed gas infront of my husband. He has never EVER smelt dealt it heard me pass it in his life. Except that one time when I had some bad Taco Bell. And I was in the bathroom. When you are in the bathroom it doesn't count. Everyone knows that. 4 1/2 years and counting. I hope I make it to 5.

Although, I belch all the damn time in front of him. I mean BELCH. yum. Weird random fact. Thanks. TMI probably....

Well...I was gonna write about how I don't brush my hair, but myllissa's comment reminded me of how my ex-husband used to close all the car windows, turn the heater-up and pass gas. The sharing of the inner essense just wasn't one of those things I wanted to share sooo...it turned into one of the many things that led to the ultimate demise of our marriage. LOL. Okay so this is my first comment on your blog. You, are a very talented writer! Love your work! :)

Can I post a fact about me that is totally the opposite of useless and random?? Like completely the opposite??? OK GOOD because I have been dying to tell someone and you wanted to know something so...I'm pregnant! YAY!

Congrats! And congrats to you, Beth, on rocking the interview.

You want useless info? I wear my watch on my right hand. Even though I'm right handed, I can't put on my watch with my right hand.

hi. i read mr. fish all the time and decided that "hey, if he's cool i'll bet his wife is cooler."

random, useless, little known fact about me... i collect random, useless, little known facts... i tend to know a lot of nothing. that and i'm a closet Matthew Sweet fan.

My boyfriend seems to have given me his flu/head cold thing, and so I have a runny nose with a sore throat. Well I woke up this morning with my nose FULL of dry crusty boogers. I have never had that happen to me as long as I can remember, maybe when I was a baby, but not recently. I should go check my pillow, and make sure it's not full of the crusty goodness.

Okay I just checked, and whew were safe.

Congrats on the interview :)

Jenny congrats!!

random and useless info about LOUP

I only have 4 pairs of shoes. But I have 2 drawers full of socks. I am a sock whore.

My biggest pet peeve?
Static on the radio.

Hmm, random useless comment about myself... Lots of people have collections. I, on the other hand, only collect one thing - Men. Yup, that's me. :) I have the Gentleman Collection, for those over 30. I have the Eligible Man Collection, for those under 30 still within appropriate dating age (I'm only 19, can't date outside too wide of an age gap). And then there's the Junior Man Collection, for those too young to date, but I'm still training them in order to be worthy of future Man Collectors. I'm generally very nice to my collected men, but I prefer it when they're very nice to me. :)
There you go. :) Great blog!

I'll start first by saying WAY TO GO on acing your interview.

Second, Congrats Jen. Now you need to find your doula. Go to DONA.com for a doula in your area.

And finally, my little known fact: I LOVE LOVE LOVE Spaghetti O's and mini ravioli. I could live on the stuff. My husband thinks it's gross. There was a sale recently where you can get 10 cans for $10 and I bought 20 cans! My son and I fight over the ones with meatballs.

Don't ask why 'cuz I have no idea. That's just the way I am. Bizarre.

A useless fact about me? I am highly uncoordinated. I have, at one time or another, broken every single toe that I have. I regularly fall down the three stairs in my apartment, trip over completely flat floor space, and knock into door frames. Depending on my mood, it is either funny or annoying.

YAY BETH!!!

One totally random and utterly useless fact about I am ridiculously shy and ridiculously short (under 5ft).

Random and useless? Hmmm...

All my food has to be in order. Meaning, anything spread on bread has to be even and non-clumpy. i.e., I will NOT eat a bagel if the cream cheese is not spread even. Things that are stacked (like a sandwich) must be stacked up in a pretty fashion and in my favorite order. Fruit/cheese/cracker plates must be lined up and separated properly and prettily. I usually have to finish one thing at a time on my plate, I don't like to go from one item to the other. And I ALWAYS save my favorite thing on the plate for last. OH, and nothing can touch.

I sound like a control freak, right? Daayum!

This was a great way to bring your lurkers out of lurkerhood. Since my life is comprised of random, useless facts, it was difficult to come up with just one. How about that I love raw carrots but hate cooked ones.

Random and useless hmm, my life seems to be random and useless at times but I digress.

I love chinese food but I hate vegetables.
I hate porn(yes I am a hetero male).
I love to people watch, but I can't stand people!

Oh wait you said one didn't you, sorry!

Hmmmm... utterly useless and random fact... there are so many to choose from. ;)

I went to the circus for the first time in my life when I was 24. Turns out that I'm allergic to elephants. (True, though technically I guess that's 2 things.)

I love to rub a satin ribbon across my lips . I can very nearly fall asleep doing this, but I try not to do it in public. Odd how some find it disburbing.

My name is Zoot and I was born with my feet pointing outwards. I had to wear shoes that pulled them in for like a year or more. In high school? I would turn my feet around backwards for the shock value.

I also use to have black hair.

Where are you going? Why are you running away from me?

well, since I already told you about my 67 pairs of underwear, I will tell you this: I can recite the alphabet in spanish just about as fast as i can in english and I'm not at all bilingual.

and go on with your bad interview self!

Random and useless...
I cannot stand repetitive noise, whether it be a basketball bouncing (the worst) or a bird chirping or beeping of any sort. It drives me crazy!

Congrats on the job interview!

Congrats!

Oh, and Laura B - I'm the same way, although I don't do it often at all because I have other weird habits.

ok, weird fact about me...

Up until about 5 or 6 years ago, I could not brush my teeth in the same room as someone else brushing their teeth, and could not share a drink with someone else without getting a HORRIBLE case of the willies. My dad is the same way, but he's way more of a freak about it than I am - he can't even watch HIMSELF brush his teeth.

Hi! My name is Casey

one useless fact: My desk is covered with books...most of which I'm only half way through

Speaking of the alphabet, I can say mine backward even faster than forward.

We're all comment whores so don;t worry about it.

A random, useless fact about myself? Well, I passed a lie detector test as part of a job interview. Just a summer/college job where the test was part of the hiring process. I lied on a few questions...

Totally random & useless fact about me...
I can not stand things like sanding wood or scrubbing pans with steel wool. I have thrown away pans (before I met my husband) because I could not clean them. The vibration or noise or whatever it is freaks me out.

congrats on the interview....

I'll have to think about the other stuff -- I live a very simple life...

comment whores, UNITE! Or untie, or whatever!

a random fact about me: I sing almost everything I say. I mean, not like really sing, with a melody, but just with...random notes, I guess. Unless I'm in a professional situation. I have a feeling this is quite annoying for people around me, but I can't help it!

I always check the stove on my way out the door in the morning to make sure I turned the burner off. And even though I know I did turn it off, I check it like 10 times before I close the door. But you know, the fear is that the one day that I don't check it, I end up burning down the house, yikes!

This is difficult for me, because, well, NOTHING about me is useless of course.

Who am I kidding? I could go on and on. I will have to focus on just a few random facts:

* I eat apples cores and shrimp tails and cherry pits. To me, it is more of a pain to pick these parts of the food off, so I just like to eat them. Saves time and is, in a way, less wasteful.

* I do not drink cola (Coke, Pepsi, RC, whatever). It makes me want to cry because it tastes so very assy. I don't get why people like it. Same with canteloupe.

* My shower products always must have the labels facing forward so that I can read them. When other people use my shower and put them back wrong, I fix them before I do anything else once I get in the shower.

* I am an insomniac, which is mostly useless.

* I like to be the BEST at everything, which includes things such as watching TV and eating. Yes, that's right. I like to watch TV better than anyone else and EAT better than anyone else. In both cases, this translates to more, which explains my weight issues.

When I get the hiccups, I cannot help but burp after each one. It is very annoying but my family thinks it is hilarious.

Just one useless fact? Well... I have a serious shoe collection. 20+ pairs - nice ones, too. Plus my running shoes. And I'm a married guy, go figure. Can't be upbringing, I don't think my dad has more than a couple. Or culture - I'm a brit (now Texan), not exactly the world's most fashionable island. Very strange.

OK I'll tell you what.... I'll tell you something no-one and I mean NO-ONE knows about me, I have a tatoo on my skull, covered in hair, but its there none the less. It's something personal , spirtuo-religious in nature something a buddhist monk guy told in confidence, so i tatooed it on my head, HAHAHAHAHAHA, not even my parents or my girl friend or best friend knows it. I figured none of you will ever come to canada and track me down so what the heck. But if you ever do come to canada dont forget to get chris some REAL Canadian Back bacon and REAL maple syrop. you know right out of the trees !!!

i cannot listen to the radio or watch tv if the volume is on an odd number. i'm terrified of odd numbers. also i'm really OCD, but you didn't see that one coming, right?

I have to sit on the inside, away from the door. I sleep on the far side of the bed, always take the inside of the booth at a restaurant, walk nearer the buildings than the sidewalk, etc.

oh yeah, remind me to tell you the cow story some time

I don't know if this is useless to you, but I am deaf. My ears are completely useless to me.

I like to sing but am not particularly good at it (Read: tone deaf)... That doesn't stop me. :) (Sorry if you were in the car next to me).

Also: When I was child I actually owned and wore a Ninja outfit. Yes, I really did. I even had a collection of plastic Chinese Throwing Stars. I once broke a few ribs in a incident involving a wooden Ninja sword - you can't make up stuff like that. This is what happens when a young tomboy worships her older brother.

There, I've gone and embarassed myself. Hehe

Totally useless fact about me? I have matching freckles all over my body. I have one on the outside of both ankles, on the inside of both arms...in the exact same spot.

Totally random fact about me: I'm related to a famous actress. Except I can't tell you who here, because then EVERYONE would know my last name. And I know your readers are crazy stalkers. Email me, and I'll tell you who ;-)

woo! useless facts.

* i broke (er, rather, stress-fractured) my foot in 9th grade, but i don't know how. i walked on it for two weeks before going to the dr. to find out why it hurt when i walked down stairs.
* i also suffered kidney stones in 9th grade. i missed all reviews for my final exams and still kicked all of their asses.
* i was online, chatting with people when I was 9 years old. Before AOL existed.
* i'm left-handed. :D
* my boyfriend lives in california, and i live in texas. contrary to popular belief (at least around here), he's not from texas. we met on the internet, and we've been together for over 6 years. :D
* we're not planning on it being a permanent situation - he's finishing school. (1 year left!!) :)

I'm sure I can think of more.. but I'll spare you.

ps. yay on the interview! :D

My tongue is pierced. I've had it done three times, but the first two it had to be taken out. Also, alarm clocks can't be set to a time ending with 5 or 0 or I'll freak out.

Hello. My name is Jennifer, and I pee in the shower.

I can recite the entire prologue to the Canterbury Tales in Olde English.
"Whan that aprill with his shoures soote..."
Thanks to Mr. Johnson, junior year High School English.

Congrats on the interview!

In regards to Wendy, and her memorisation of the prologue of the Canterbury Tales in Old English - our junior year english teacher tried to convince us to do the same thing, "for a good cocktail trick" she said, but none of us were swayed.

And a random fact. I love chocolate, but not as a dessert after a meal. It must come in delectable precious morsels, and be savoured anytime one needs a pick-me-up. But chocolate desserts largely leave me cold.

Congrats on the interview!
Congrats on the pregnancy mentioned several comments ago!!

My random, useless fact...
My books must be grouped by author or I must immediately fix it, but my CDs can be in any random order and it doesn't bother me.

My totally and random fact...

I plan on dying my naturally dark mousy blonde, usually dyed blonder hair, truffle brown next weekend.

Well done on the interview :)

Random fact: I often pretend to be asleep when I'm not, so I can stay in bed longer.

Totally random and useless fact about Amy:

I am a clothes whore. This is well known amongst people who know my IRL. I have seven closets all full, one dedicated slowly to shoes, where I am considering installing a light to shine upon my sole pair of Manolo Blahnik stilettos. I am VERY generous with my clothes and shoes and not a week goes by that some friend is not borrowing something. Only the Manolos are off limits. I store all my shoes in their boxes on shelves in a walk in closet full of shoes and they are arranged by color and style.

I have nine pairs of knee high boots.
Three of them are black, one is red, one is purple, 2 are brown, 2 are camel.

Bonus random fact:
When eating Chinese food, I must eat my fortune cookie before everything else. Not to do so, I am sure would bring armegeddon.

I tried to get people to comment on my blog by inviting them to ask me something about myself. No one commented. :( lol

Oh and I can STILL recite the opening line of The Outsiders, 22 years after first reading it.


When I stepped out into the light from the darkness of the movie theatre, I had two things on my mind. Paul Newman and a ride home.

And, lastly, clearly I cannot type--the number of typos in first comment is staggering. And am not DRUNK, unlike my Sat night comments!lol

'Grats on the kick-ass interview!

Random fact: I have to read my books in the order in which I purchased them. This is an actual choice that I made, because if I didn't I would never read my older books and they would just sit around feeling neglected and unloved. (There are very few exceptions, mainly to do with continuing serieses long thought finished or new books by favorite authors.) I am currently on the books bought in 1997. Because I am a bookwhore, I have two more bookcases jam-packed, two video cabinets with stacks of hard-bounds 15 tall and two deep atop them, and five paper-boxes full of books waiting to be read.

You comments slut! JKing!!!

Alright.

One totally random and utterly useless fact about Maureen:

Right this very moment I am supposed to be doing my AP World History homework (ahh at 4:20 AM) but instead am trying a new spin on things by balancing a fork on my nose. Works suprizingly better then a spoon. ALSO I am reading your blog. Which is way super radical.

Since Amy posted so much:
My favourite CD is the Jungle Book soundtrack. How completely sad is that? I mean I listen to other music then that but that CD is so kicking. Plus it was my favourite movie when I was 5. "We Your Friends" is memorized. ::sigh::

Randome Fact about Frank (besides also residing in NoVA);

* my hand are all blistery and callously from rowing
* I have an 6 inch scar on my stomach courtsey of the U of MD Shock Trauma Unit. Its true what they say about not driving and drinking.

When do we leave for Canada?

I can pick up nearly anything (even small coins) with my toes.

56 comments? you whore.

I get sore throats when I'm nervous. Literally...it swells up and it's scratchy and my glands on either side are all bulbous and gross. Yeah. I'm a freak. But you said anything.

I never get comments at my site either. Fix that will ya?

It is impossible for me to go to sleep at night if I have make-up on. I can take naps with make-up on but I must admit they're alot better sans make-up.

Ummm ... I think the cotton ball thing is OK.

I might keep that Guiding Light thing under wraps though!

I count when I walk, each step is one count. Usually in counts of four or eight, but sometimes I'll keep going up to like 200.

I read Mr. Fish's blog so I thought I would visit you.

Random fact about me: I get hiccups randomly. I'll be walking along and suddenly, I'm hiccuping. And they last a long time.

I have a freakish recurring sneeze. I have released up to 24 tiny little sneezes in rapid succession. This amuses everyone who knows me to no end. Also, I think in songs. Anything someone says will inevitably get some song stuck in my head. This ranges from stuff like "Eye of the Tiger" to "Hakuna Matata", because I am that odd.

I'm obsessed with fairies

OH! I wanna play too!

OK- Yesterday I ate an entire jar of green pimento stuffed olives with a toothpick in the shape of a sword. It made me really happy until the burping started.

i count my steps. almost regularly. i can hold a conversation and be counting steps at the same time, and not get confused! lol. not only do i count each step i take, when i'm walking down a staircase, i count the PHYSICAL steps too. my boyfriend makes fun of me because i always know how many steps there are in places that are familiar to me. (at his mom's there is 17 steps leading to the upstairs, 6 leading up to the front door, 9 leading to the basement...at our old apartment there were 15 leading up to our door...at the place we live now there are 5 leading down to our door. see? i'm obsessed. but it makes walking up/down the steps with a large package easy...i don't have to try and peer around said package to see where i'm stepping and if i'm at the bottom yet!)

Random and useless -- here's one:

I hate the number 6. Or 66. Or, dear God in Heaven, 666. I think it has to do with too many horror flicks as a kid.

In any event, the main reason I posted? Because you only had 66 comments. I could NOT let that stand.

I like to leave comments on posts days after they posted.

My strange and unusual fact. I saw falling snow for the first time in 2000 when I was just 21 years old. I have lived in Texas for way to long.

Congrats on the interview! That's exciting! I hope I have the same good luck like you do!

From the time I was six, until I was about 12, I slept in my closet. I had a fully functional bed, but for some reason, I just felt "safer" bundled up in a sleeping in my closet. I actually had sleepovers inside my closet. I just now realized how weird that was :-)

Ok, you asked for it.

Totally randome useless fact about Jade.

I have a shoe fetish. I don't mean shoe fetish in the form of SJP on Sex in the City. Although, if I could afford it, it could very well go that way.

My shoe fetish is more like this...
I put my shoes on the morning, I tie them up. I take two steps. I am gauging the tightness of the laces. ( I have to wear tennis shoes) If one side is tied too tightly, I will stop and retie. It's usually the left foot. If the shoes are tied too loosely, I have to stop and retie. This might go on for 30 min. in the mornings before I get the pressure equal on both sides of my feet. Tight enough to not slip, but if they are too tight it hurts my foot like no other. Yea. It's a pain when I am getting ready for work.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.


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