Yesterday I was thoroughly irradiated and also forced to walk down several long hallways wearing no pants and one of those hospital gowns that open in the back. Therefore, I have selected the superhero name suggested by Pam, The Pantless Wonder!
The most annoying part of the experience was that, having made me wander the halls carrying my clothes and with my nether regions hanging out, after the test they pointed out that there was a lovely private bathroom attached to the exam room where I was free to change back into my clothes. Um, hello? Would it have killed you people to let me change in there to begin with? And avoid the creepy looking lab assistant guy who kept eyeing me like he was about to grab me and lick my neck? Also, since you people answer your phone saying "Big Scary Hospital, may I help you?" do you think you could maybe mention to new patients that you are not actually in the, you know, hospital? Whatever.
Today, sadly, not only do I not glow in the dark, but I find myself entirely unable to fly. I also cannot bend steal or talk to dolphins or turn myself into a bucket of water or deflect bullets. I did develop x-ray vision for a few minutes yesterday, but unfortunately it only allowed me to see various bits of my own internal organs and therefore I am still entirely in the dark as to the precise form and style of Clive's butt. I would not be so upset about this, only I already bought the cape and the go-go boots and now I am going to have a harder time finding places to wear them.