Guess what I bought this weekend?
Ok, I admit, that covers a pretty wide selection of things, so I will just tell you. I bought jeans! Two pairs! They fit over my bodacious booty and not one single other person or rhinoceros could get in the waistband with me. This is huge and major and exciting, because clearly I really needed some new jeans.
Anyway, I got Gap stretch boot cut regular length (thanks Casey!) and Gap stretch flares ankle length. Can anyone tell me why ankle length boot cut jeans are so much shorter than ankle length flare jeans? Also, while you're at it, can you also tell me why regular length flare jeans are not any longer than ankle length flare jeans but they are a lot tighter. Does squeezing your legs make them shorter?
In other shopping news, I bought quite possibly the sexiest pair of pants ever to wear to dinner on my anniversary. One of you smart and fashion-focused people probably know what these pants are called, but I'm just going to have to describe them so bear with me. They are two separate layers. The bottom layer is a pretty standard wide-leg pants shape except that the outside seams are open from just above the knee down. The top layer is totally open on both outside seams so that layer is really just wrapped around your legs. Does that make sense? If not, just take my word for it that they are awesome and hot and I am going to be the prettiest girl in all of New York City on Saturday night. Now, I just have to lose 5 pounds before Saturday so I don't have to eat dinner standing up on my anniversary. The pants are hot, but they are also a little more ambitious about the size of my waist than is practical. (Hey, um. would somebody please remind me to move that button before Saturday? Thanks.)
I got the sexy pants at Nordstrom, where the staff is very helpful and also insane. I had a very nice woman helping me pick out possible anniversary outfits. My favorite thing she chose was a cute black skirt with a pink silk halter-ish top printed with fleurs-de-lis and a jacket with matching fleurs-de-lis on the lining. It was gorgeous. It was $1500. I told her I was looking for an outfit for my anniversary, not divorce court.
Finally, I really need some advice. What is the maximum number of purses I can take on a six-day vacation without becoming one of those snotty bitches who think owning a couple of Coach bags is some sort of personal accomplishment for which they should be complimented and admired? I'm thinking of taking three: my ugly-but-damn-it-holds-everything travel purse for days, a sparkly evening bag for sparkly evenings and a non-sparkly day/evening crossover bag for fancy afternoons and non-sparkly evenings. That's reasonable, right? In a non-snotty-bitch sort of way? You can tell me the truth, I can take it.