I was planning to post an Election Day Photo Essay today taken with my brand new camera phone, starting with the length of the lines at my neighborhood polling place at 6 AM this morning followed by a selection of the various "I Voted" stickers I have seen at work today. There really is quite a bit of variety in those "I Voted" stickers. Mine, for example reads "I Voted: Presidential Election 2004." I suppose this is to prevent a person from hanging onto their stickers from previous elections and using them on Election Day to foist themselves off on the unsuspecting public as someone who has done their civic duty. The photo essay was meant to culminate with a picture of my very own "I Voted" sticker attractively affixed to my forehead.
However, my brand new camera phone which arrived yesterday was cleverly shipped to me without a minor accessory that makes it possible for the phone to, you know, function. Therefore you, The Internet, will not be able to view my carefully planned photo essay and will therefore not be so inspired by the variety and power of I Voted Sticker Art that you rush immediately from your computers and make it your personal mission to insure that every person within a 5 square mile radius of you (larger in rural areas) casts a ballot before the polls close tonight. This is a sad, sad day for Democracy.
While you weep quietly to yourselves, I will tell you a fun thing to do while voting. After you turn in your ballot, go up to the little old lady handing out the "I Voted" stickers and ask if you could pretty please have two of them so you can wear them on your nipples. It is worth it to see the expression on her face. Trust me.