I would like to apologize for thinking that you are a big bunch or hairy stalkers with bad teeth and b.o. But really, it was an honest mistake. I received a UPS package yesterday from "Guess." There was a birthday card, signed "Al." There was also a very pretty 2005 planner with flowers and such. I had no idea who could have sent this package. The only Al we know is Chris's grandfather and he would be hard pressed to tell you what his own name was these days, so we ruled him out. I tracked the package. It was sent locally. That was when I really started to freak out. I had visions of crazy internet people hiding in my bushes and peeking in my windows and maybe washing and detailing my car. Actually, that part wouldn't have been too bad. I tracked the phone number - no luck. I tried the address - no luck. I checked the package for anthrax. What does anthrax look like anyway?
I would also like to apologize to the few of you that have my address for thinking that you had been passing it out on the street or possibly had taken out an add in the Washington Post saying "Ever wanted to be a stalker? Start with Beth! Here's her address!" (It did occur to me for a minute that it might be one of you who had decided to stalk me and honestly, I was okay with that.) It also occurred to me that maybe Chris was the one being stalked by someone who had decided to clear the way for a torrid love affair with my husband by rubbing me out and then being there to comfort him in his hour of need. That's when I checked the package for anthrax again.
Finally, I would like to apologize to my good friend Alexis for thinking she was a stalker and had mailed me anthrax.
Fair warning, people, blogging makes you paranoid.