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By the numbers

Hey, if you want something original go talk to someone who isn't so grumpy.

Number of days since I have been to work: 4
Number of times today I have wished I still was not at work: 86
Number of times I have wanted to go home and crawl back into bed: 109
Number of times I woke up at 1:30 last night: 1
Number of times I was able to fall back asleep: 0
Number of times I kicked my husband because he was snoring: 3
Number of times I kicked my husband because I was cranky: 3
Number of Christmas presents purchased on days off: 3
Number of suggestions for Christmas presents received from my husband: 0
Number of gifts purchased for my husband: 2
Number of times I will punch him if he does not display appropriate enthusiasm for said presents: 16
Number of Christmas presents currently under my Christmas tree: 10
Number of those presents that are for me: 0
Number of hours until my boss rolls into town: 6
Number of boxes of chocolate purchased for my boss in a shameless display of brown-nosing: 1
Number of times my boss hugged me the first time I met her: 2
Number of times my boss hugged me the last time she was in town: 1
Number of boss hugs anticipated over the next two days: 3
Number of conference calls to host this afternoon: 1
Number of times I tried to think of a reason to postpone conference call: 12
Number of times I moved my huge heavy monitor only to return it to the exact same place it started: 1
Number of Christmas cards purchased: 60
Number of Christmas cards completed, addressed, stamped and mailed: 0
Number of boxes of Christmas cards that have been opened in preparation for completing cards: 0
Number of episodes of The Swan watched last night instead of doing Christmas cards: 2
Number of times I have realized that I am far too cranky to come up with a decent post: 5
Number of stupid posts I decided to put up anyway: 1

Comments (22)

you are brilliant, you know that?

My boyfriend won't tell me what he wants for Christmas either. He just says, "I dunno, don't spend too much." =| WHY? Men are . . . I don't even know. They must have a secret club where they get together and decide that they want to torture their girlfriends/wives for Christmas. Grr.

That does it! I now have to submit your blog for best humor blog in the BOB awards cause everytime I come here I laugh reading your posts and people walking by my office think I'm insane for laughing in my office while I'm all alone. Anyone who can make me look insane deserves an award! :)

Yes, but you even do stupid posts with a certain je ne sait quoi!

My boyfriend won't tell me what he wants for Christmas either. He says he doesn't need anything. Well, duh! No one needs presents!

He has gotten me two things..and both of them are things I was going to buy myself and he snatched them from me and paid for them and then said I can't have them until Christmas. Gah!

Number of comments before I posted this one 5

Number of comments after 6

number of times I felt sorry for you 10

number of times I screamed brown noser at the screen 1

number of times I apologized 0

Number of times my boss has hugged me 0

number of people it would take to keep me from kicking his ass if he ever tried 5

number of times I hesitated before posting this 1

ugh. guys are so difficult to shop for. Joe's going to be in town after christmas, and when i ask him what he wants, he tells me nothing. except i know he's going to show up with eleventy billion presents for ME.

See, I say things to The Boy like "Don't get me anything, we have no money." And I mean it. All it does? Is insure at least it's under some amount of money that would make me faint.

I tried that with the ring, too. Still didn't work. But it's a shiny. Maybe it's a computer IT person thing?

Number of Christmas trees bought: 0
Number of Christmas Cards bought: 0
Number of Christas presents bought: 0
Number of times I have wanted to crawl into bed until January: 365

I am surprised the last one wasn't something like -- Finally being able to stop typing the word number -- priceless.

Ohhhhhh I have so had days like yours!

I'm sorry you're grumpy!!

Playing the numbers game, eh?

You're much better at the numbers than I am. I skeered of math!

MY BF says to me..."I have everything I have ever wanted in you...don't get me anything!"

Leaves me scratching my head as to what to get him! Maybe some boots so he doesnt step in all the shit he is spewing! Giggle

Do ya feel better yet? No? Eat some of your boss's chocolate.

What? You had 2 days off? I am so jealous.

Number of carats Beth's christmas present should contain to make her smile: 18.

Why can the husbands always continuing sleeping away while we toss and turn? It's so unfair.

original is overrated

Number of drinks I will buy you 5
Number of hugs I will give you 3
Sorry you are having a crappy day.

I'd give you a hug if I were there... I'm not -- so you're on your own with your boss...

As far as men having a club -- it's true -- all women: stay out...

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

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