Beth: You know what I hate?
Internet: Little dogs.
Beth: Well yes, I do hate little dogs.
Internet: Pointless meetings.
Beth: Who doesn't hate pointless meetings?
Internet: Snotty bitches.
Beth: Ok, that's sort of a pot/kettle thing, but yes, that's true.
Beth: Did I tell you about the parsnips? I don't remember telling you about the parsnips. My god, I hate parsnips.
Internet: Your ovaries.
Beth: But I hate them for a very good reason, in that they are lazy slack-ass bitches.
Internet: People who stretch in the gym locker room. Naked.
Beth: Well that's just disgusting.
Internet: When someone.
Beth: Now wait a minute, let's try to focus here people. I get the point, there are lots of things that I complain about hating, but I have a new one! Don't you want to hear about the new one?
Internet: Yes, Beth. Please, tell us about the new thing you hate. (Yawn.)
Beth: There's no need to be so rude. Now let's see, where was I? Oh yes, I hate teenage girls. No offense if you are a teenage girl, but I find that teenage girls tend to be snotty and rude and speak in high pitched squealy giggles and be thinner than me. I've decided that if I ever have a daughter, when she is 12 I will give her a choice: she can either join a convent or the circus. I would personally prefer the circus, but I accept that this hypothetical daughter will be to some degree a person in her own right and therefore I am willing to give her options.
On a totally unrelated subject, I am listening to muzak waiting for a conference call to start and a prominent feature of the current ditty is someone breathing heavily. I just thought you should know that.