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My love/hate relationship with me

When my alarm went off at 5:00 today, I rolled over, yelled "shut the fuck up, you ignorant whore," turned off the alarm and went right back to sleep. I loved myself for that. It was 5 AM after all when all rational people are asleep and warm and asleep and not getting up to feed the whining cats and brave the cold and go to the gym to run on the treadmill for an hour. However, because I am psychotic and also crazy and cannot possibly skip the gym without risking immediate death or maybe bad breath and boils, now I have to go to the gym after work. The only thing that is worse than going to the gym at 5:00 in the morning is going to the gym after work. I hate myself for this, hence my dilemma. Is it better to love myself at 5 AM and hate myself all day, or hate myself at 5 AM and mildly resent myself but also feel self-righteous and thin all day? I think I need to have a peanut butter cookie while I ponder this universal question. We will not even start on the love/hate fiasco brought on by peanut butter cookies.

Comments (29)

i envy you for even attempting to get up at 5am, let alone going to the gym. i'm the type who exercises at night (if/when i do...), and NEVER in the morning. no can do.

I think you should love yourself just for having a membership

yes but you can buck yourself up by knowing that even though going to the gym after work stinks...you will still go and not skip...thus not putting yourself into the complete loser range... like me

Its probably better to be mildly resentful and self-righteous. Or to go when the naked stretchers aren't there.

And here I am bitching about the fact that I got up at 6:00 AM for no good reason. I did do laundry and empty the dishwasher. Not once did working out cross my mind. You are the work out Queen that I shall now look up to.

I'm for self righteousness especially if it's directed at that NON-gym going members for you office.
You can go to lunch with someone and be all "when I was the gym this morning at FIVE A.M., I didn't see you there. You gonna eat that?"

You spend an hour on the treadmill? Damn. I'm ready to shoot myself after 30 minutes, and I *like* running. I am impressed.

P.S. Have the cookie. Cookies make everything better.

Beth, I admire you for even GETTING to the gym. I'm so lazy I just never get there. SO love yourself for being a damn sight better than most of us!

ANd love yourself some peanut butter cookie. Gym going has to have SOME compensations :)

And all day I've been wondering why you called me an ignorant whore. I didn't think that sounded quite right...

Every night I go to bed with the ohhh so very good intention of hauling my loving to sleep butt outta bed to get on the treadmill...which I have...my very own costwaytoomuch and usedsoverylittle treadmill...so I really have no excuse except that I do my best sleeping at 5am :)

My alarm goes off each morning at 5am so that I can get to school before anybody at 6:15. I get a lot done, but after spending tons of kiddos all day, I am dead when the final bell rings. I feel your pain!

Gym? Isn't that a torture chamber? 5am? Isn't that the middle of the night? Two very good reasons why I'm so fat, lol. Have the cookie, don't feel guilty.

I missed the gym 2 days this week... and I only go 3 days. I am so pissed at my alarm, which did NOT go off.

well, considering I am now using earplugs to block out all dog whining from the backyard, I don't ever HEAR my alarm. And honestly, getting up at 5am is something that I just can't DO. So I admire you, for those days that you do get up, and for all the days you stay after work!

Wow, I yearn to have such discipline that the gym becomes something I HAVE to do every day. For me, it's always been a chore. I don't know how to make it anything else.

But, that all said, man I SO have a love/hate relationship with me.

And my boyfriend thinks all women are crazy. So, if he's right, you're not alone.

Beth, I too feel my alarm clock is ignorant and whorish at 5am, then again I still feel that way at 7am. Peanuts are healthy so their cookie offspring must be, right?

I absolutely refuse to get up any earlier than 6. If that means working out at lunch or after work, then so be it.

I'm all for mild resentment and self-righteousness! Morning workouts are the only way I could ever do it. I figure, if I get up at 5:15 I am still mostly asleep and by the time I am finished at 6:15 I am awake. Thus, I am really exercising in my sleep.

Check out the Speed Bump cartoon from a few days ago for a really ignorant whore alarm.... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/uclickcomics/20041209/cx_crspe_uc/crspe20041209&e=2

5 a.m. is way too early to even contemplate exercising! As for the cats, this is why ours only get dry cat food and it's in a giant self-feeder thingie. That way they stay in bed keeping me warm like they should.

First of all, peanut butter cookies are HEALTH FOOD. So you can therefore feel self-righteous about your good food choices.

Second, why you gotta be hatin? Don't hate the player, hate the GAME.

No wonder your alarm clock is so angry--you're kind of mean to it.

Anyway, if you *think about* or *plan* on exercising, I think that should count. Kind of like calories ingested at parties or on vacation do *not* count.

MY LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU:

I love you because you swear good...
I hate you because you go to the gym...
I love you because you didn't get up today...
I hate you because you are thin...
I love you because you are going to eat a peanut butter cookie...
I hate you because you wont share it with me!!!

Forget about loving or hating yourself- Tell us more about the cookie!

Have a cookie while at the gym and in the morning, that way you can feel self righteous AND satisfied, which will make the mildly resentful feeling go away :-)

you must have had alot of self discipline to get up at 5. Give yourself a pat on the back girl. Your on your way. I can't even get up at 8.

awesome blog, keep up the good work. :)

I'm an early club guy, too -- and it's been really hard lately for me to roll out of bed to go. There was a time when no matter where I was, or what I was doing, I'd go to the club. If I flew home all the way from Europe - and I hadn't worked out that day -- I'd grab my bag and go... I can now say those days are gone. I get there when I can - and I have a minimum agreement with myself 3X a week -- which I haven't met lately -- but it wears on me until I get back on track. I know know know the feeling....

Now - about those peanut butter cookies -- did you bring enough for everyone? hmm?

I am rolling over here! I LOVE how you swear at your alarm! I would try it, but my real alarm is my bf who massages me awake...I think he would stop if I did that! Cannot risk that!

You are my god! I have to be like you, then I would not have love flab and the like around my normal thin body that is now looking like my grandmother! Giggle

i love you for shutting off the damn alarm that early.

i hate you for being able to even use the word "thin" when referring to yourself. unless you mean thin in a totally non-size-2 sort of way.

OMG....
I can't stop laughing long enough to post a coherent comment!!
*there are tears pouring out of my eyes*
Know, I do not laugh *at* you, simply because of your post.
Gym? Don't know where one is.
5am? Been up for an hour.
Love hate with me? I love to hate me.
Peanutbutter cookies? Every chance I get simply because the sugar rush keeps me going. LOL
You are so cute!

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So the Fish Said...

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