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Far too much information. You have been warned.

This is probably way TMI, but you should expect no less of me at this point.

I have to go to the doctor this afternoon to have them check out a huge mutant mole that is currently working to take over the back of my head. You see, I have always had this small, demure, rather cute little mole on the back of my head under my hair where nobody could see it. No harm, no foul. Lately, this mole has gotten a little too big for its britches and has decided to conquer the world. It's huge. It's nasty. If it were on your head you would probably be unable to hold your head upright due to the mole's amazing girth, but fortunately for me I have a great big melon head and therefore overdeveloped neck muscles. (For the record, I would like to state that it is still entirely hidden by my hair. There's nasty, and then there's nasty.)

So anyway, I'm going to beg and plead with the doctor to just take the darned thing off, as I was really none too fond of it in the first place and this recent growth spurt has put it firmly onto my list. However, before I do that I feel that now that this thing is so big and nasty it is only fair to give it a name. I'm leaning towards Edna, but figured I may as well put it up for a vote to entertain myself. So, anybody have any suggestions? Come on, play along. How often do you get the opportunity to christen a mutant mole?

On another note, thank you to everybody who joined in for Delurking Day yesterday. I had a heck of a lot of fun and hope you all did too.

(P.S. I know for an absolute fact that drinking two cups of tea makes me sick as a dog, so why in the hell did I just do it?)

Comments (33)

Hey..uhm...are you sure they won't have to like SHAVE part of your head in the back in order to remove it? You maybe should find out before doing anything drastic. You could weigh which would bother you more (the shaved head thing or the Edna) or we could all vote for you!

Meredith the mole...

But I'm not sure if I was more amazed at the mole or the overdeveloped neck muscles!

Whack.

So them people could point and say "Look- Whack, a Mole!"

Ugh, good luck at the doctor!

I HAD a mole right on my forehead (to the left side, under my hair line). My son used to call it my Hat Stopper (and NO, that is NOT funny!). The doc refused to cut it off. So I did. Scissors and ice do wonders when docs won't, I tell ya!

But? MAJOR OWWWW! Even with the ice. So if you can, go the much more painless route.

Edna made you drink the tea; she needs to go. But wait until she tells you to send me pretty things before you cut her off.

Oooh... I like Edna. Or Bertha. Or maybe even Myrtle. Yes. Myrtle the Mole.

And, that is SO not TMI. You want TMI? Come back in a few days when I've exploded all over the internet about my nasty girly problem because I've hit my limit and I just can't take it any more. (Seriously. If this shit doesn't clear up soon, all y'all are going to have to hear about it, and no one wants that.)

Also, buy stock in Dannon. And Yoplait. For I am about to fork over my life savings to them.

Eeek! If it's growing then it probably is best you get that removed. When I was pregnant, I developed this little skin tag on my neck. Then last year without warning, it got a little to big for me to handle. It was getting stuck on my sweaters and causing me much pain. I had my sister freeze it off with one of those wart remover things. Ummm believe it was called Freeze Off (Compound W). It worked and I have no scar from the removal! But I just have to warn you if you decide to go this route, the mole will shrivel up and die, but will take about 10 days to finally fall off, in which it will resemble a dried up something or other. But if your hair is covering it, then no problem. Oh and it's best if you have someone do the freezing off for you.

As for the naming of the mutant mole, I like Edna because it reminds me of an ex-aunt who was indeed a mutant. Good luck!

I know, I know, I know. This is an absolute winner. Gobnait (pronounced gobnet)the mole. You think that this is not a real name, but, alas, it is. It is an Irish name and was particularly popular in Cork. NO, it's not my real name.

I'm thinking we should go literary and name the carbuncle "Moliere", whassya say?It IS my birthday after all and I would be honoured to have successfully named your mole.

... and WHY can't you comment on my site ...conscience issues... ashamed of Moliere?

Boring girl that I am was thinking Harry. Harry Mole.

I second the name Edna, that's a good mole name. You could also call it something cheesy like "holy moly". That would thereby make it a sacred mole...

Sad I missed Delurking Day, I am way behind on my favorite blogs after the long holiday break. Hope that you are Chris enjoyed the holidays.

Oh, and the drooling on the yoga mat? Been there. Also the pantyhose thing - though not at my wedding.. :)

Please post a picture of Edna. They won't have to shave the back of your head will they? Eeekk! There's nasty and then there's nasty and then....nasty/sad.
Seriously, best to get it taken care of before it turns into something serious.

Did you ever see the Southpark episode, where that teacher had a fetus growing out of her head or something? What? I'm just saying...

Maybe you could get a rat to gnaw that thing off.

--Uncle Buck

I like Moliere. And they won't have to shave to remove the mole. A guy I know just got his removed, and they didn't shave his head.

How about Damian?

Reminds me of Austin Powers....Moley mole moley...lol

sorry...couldn't resist...I've had that as well and it isn't fun.

I think you should call it Molé. (Rhymes with Oil of Olay.) It makes it sound mysterious and foreign, and also vaguely chocolatey.

I say Wilimena.
Good luck with her! :-)

I'm going to have to second Myrtle. Amusing, and it makes her sound fairly harmless and not scary. Because the last thing you want is a SCARY mole on the back of your head.

OH YES Moliere for SURE! And I can provide you with a pic of his birthplace.... we can do a whole Moleiere Mole tribute!

Meredith. I like allegory.

I like Maude. Maude the Mole.

If it's still there...I think Bertha would be approprate.....just an idea...though I'm sure you Dr saw the light and released you from its evil clutches

I voted for you in the best new blog category.

And not just because I feel guilty for telling your husband his haircut was adorable yesterday...

Well I hope it all come out or er.. um... off ok. But if you keep it and DO name it... my vote is on Bertha. It just screams BIG! ;)

I have one on the back of my head too, so far it hasn't grown, but I vote for the name gertrude, it says so much!

My friend had one of those. She called it Herman. Then one day she went to the doctor and he removed it and Herman was no more.

Ernestine! Wait, maybe that's what I'll name the one on the side of my head, also hidden under hair, that I need to get removed.

i do that with coffee...caffeine often gives me headaches, but i still sneak a cup of coffee in the break room at work, thinking maybe i'll escape it? who knows.

Two things: 1) I didn't delurk yesterday! Guilty! But does one need to delurk if one has commented only once or twice before or if one has never commented?
2)If the doc removes Bertha/Mole/Gertrude/etc will you then have a bald spot on the back of your head?

'Nice to mole you... meet you. Nice to meet you, Mole."

Better tea than diet coke... ohhh, my stomach!

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