Today is the first day of my second trimester. (Theoretically anyway, I still think the dates are a bit off.) I am down to four pairs of work-appropriate pants that still fit. The pants I'm wearing today are not included on that list and I'm a getting a little worried about the seams. I'm wearing a v-neck sweater today that I've had for ages and just looked in the mirror and realized that I am exposing a very unprofessional amount of cleavage. Now it's not that I've been flashing my coworkers for years without noticing, it's that I've never had this problem before because I've never had this cleavage before. Does anybody have a scarf that I can borrow?
I had hoped that hitting the second trimester would finally ease the low-grade hysteria I have been feeling since finding out that I was pregnant. Nope. If anything, my constant fear that something is going to go wrong at any second is even worse today. I have decided that my doctor is wrong and that the random stomach pains I have been experiencing since before I even knew I was pregnant are not gas, like she said, but instead a dark and ominous sign that Something Is Not Right. Today I'm convinced they are cramps, even though I feel exactly the same as I felt last week and the week before that and the week before that. Do not try to be reasonable with a pregnant woman! I expect this will last right up until the baby is born, at which time I will shift to worrying that the baby isn't breathing.
Anybody want to make bets on how long I can hold out before calling my doctor and insisting that they see me today? I'll even give you hints. I have a meeting at 9:30 and think I can hold out at least until it starts, so the window of opportunity is probably somewhere between 10:30 and oh, let's see.. 10:35.
Anyway, to distract myself from worrying about every single thing in the world, I have decided to compile a list of Things I Am Not Allowed To Do:
- Clean the litter box
- Pick up my cat. He weighs 16 pounds, my limit is 15. This rule is frequently broken.
- Use any cleaning product whatsoever.
- Do any housework. Except laundry.
- Carry groceries.
- Take out the trash.
- Go into my own back yard.
- Walk on any amount of snow or ice. Or wet pavement for that matter.
- Refer to myself as fat, or suggest that I will be getting fatter.
- Stay up past 10:00 on weekends, 9:30 during the week.
- Fail to finish a single bite of any meal my husband is watching me eat.
My doctor's office just opened. The internal battle begins!