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Outed Again

We have these friends, I'm going to call them Ava and Jack. I'm not changing their names because I think they would mind if I used their real names, but Ava and Jack are two names I like for the baby that Chris will not even consider. I've decided to take all the names Chris vetos and use them to rename my friends. Anyway, Ava and Jack live very far away from us, because they are selfish and mean and insist on having jobs and going to school rather than moving here to entertain me, but I am only a little bitter about that. Ava and Jack were in town for Christmas and we went to dinner and then spent far too many hours afterwards sitting in Starbucks, and while we were in Starbucks Jack said something that I thought was odd. Not that what he said was so odd, but he made a comment that made me wonder how in the world he knew about that. I figured Chris had told him, but then I had a terrible thought. Jack reads my blog! I tried to remain calm, to convince myself that such a thing could not happen, and then a few days ago Ava emailed me at my blog address. There's no more denying it, they both read my blog. Shit.

You see, nobody that I actually know reads my blog, well not that I know of anyway. And honestly, if I had to pick anyone I know to read my blog it would be Ava and Jack. And I'm not just saying that because they might read this. (But hi, guys. How's it going?) Chris has known Jack for 15 years or so, and I honestly have no idea how long I've known Ava, but I think 25 years would be a reasonable guess. Needless to say, I'm pretty comfortable with these people and I'm sure they aren't going to change their opinions of me just because I talk about purses too much on my blog, but it's still just a little strange for me. Anyway, it got me to wondering about how other people have handled being "found out." Any good stories out there?

Comments (38)

I struggled with whether or not tell anyone about my blog and decided to make our family the "theme" so I told my folks, husband's folks and our siblings. I kind of wish I wouldn't have because I limit myself to "safe" topics....which limits my writing fun. I've thought about having a second blog but frankly my life isn't that interesting...I'm not sure what I'd write about.

I don't tell many people about it. Other than my close non-family friends no one really knows. :) I don't want my mom knowning that I don't find porn offensive, or that I have this much time on my hands to have a blog! LOL

This is off topic since I don't have a blog. I just discoverd yours, but don't worry- I don't know you. Isn't it funny how the fact that I am a total stranger reading about your life is a relief? Anyway, I really enjoy your writing, and I wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy!

I've only told 4 friends about my blog.

The day MY BROTHER found it? (and still hasn't TOLD me that he found it, but I totally traced his IP and I know it was him because he was leaving stupid comments with email address like "" Ass. Anyway) The day he found it, I shut my blog down, and moved to a new domain. I only gave the new domain to people who emailed me asking for it.

I do NOT need my brother reading about me wanting "my enchilada stuffed" nor do I need him telling my pastor dad that I use the "F" word. A lot.

I had someone make a song suggestion for one of my CDs at a party. I was totally taken off-guard by that, but since it was a good choice, I decided not to freak and run.

I told some friends about it and my parents, but only because I knew they would forget about it the next day. A few months ago, my brother told my mom that what I was doing was running a porn site. She's since forgotten that, too.

sorry, no good outting story here.
i've had my domain for about 7 years... the blog for only 2. everyone and their brother knows about my domain. i link to my blog from the main page, heck i even started posting links to the most recent posts on it. i don't mind that my family reads it (yes i do) i figure half of what goes out there will entertain them and the other half i'd end up getting drunk at some family party and telling them anyway. i give my friends my blog address, or at least tell them to visit my site because it's an easy way to keep in touch with them and let them know what's going on in my life. i never phone people and am terribly negligent with emailing people. when i comment on people's sites i use the url of my blog, but i wouldn't mind people to start visiting my main page because there are links to other things there, links that don't fit in with my blog.

Beth, you should OBVIOUSLY name the baby Clive. But now Owen. Because then he will be called Slowen just like on Party of Five. ;)

Other than my husband, I have not shared my blog with anybody in the real world.

Last week I got an email from my aunt saying how she was checking out my webpage and that it had changed quite a bit and she couldn't wait to have some free time so she could read through it. At first I thought she was talking about an old geocities page I had made specifically to share with my family but hadn't updated for a while.

While looking at my blog stats I realized she was looking at my blog. She had found me via Google. I did a quick scan of my archived posts to make sure I didn't do any bitching about my mom or family. Whew...nothing to incriminate me. I then sent her a note back to say it dawned on me that she was talking about my blog. Sure enough, she replied that she was and should she pass the link on to anyone in the family? Well...what do you say? If I said don't share it, everyone would be reading it by the end of the day. So I told her feel free to read through it, pass it on if you like, I mostly use it to complain about work and school.

So far no other stats from that end of the country. I think my secret is safe...for now.

Sheer panic, followed immediately by, "eh, whatever." By the next day? I've probably totally forgotten about it.

My mother reads my blog, and every now and again she slams me for what I write. Yet, in the same breath she is so amused and proud that her daughter is such an odd mouse that she keeps reading and has referred her friends! LOL
Actually, not a bad story, but I do know of SEVERAL people who've been found out and shut their blogs down totally in shame and embarassment.

I had a second blog that my family didn't know about (at least that I know of) so I could write freely and about things other than "safe" topics, but I realized rather quickly that my life was far too boring for two blogs. My life is too boring for ONE blog, but hey, it's my blog, and I'll be boring if I want to.

I've told my wife about my blog and that's it. I don't know if she's told any family/friends.

I've changed names around so Google shouldn't lead folks here, but I know it's a small world and eventually people I know will find it. I just wonder how long it will take and who will be pissed when it happens.

For instance, I know another blogger that lives in my old hometown (where I lived for almost 20 years, and my parents still live) so if somebody else I know reads HER blog they might see my comments or find me through her blogroll. But whatever.

Boring, eh?

I've had several family and friends find my personal site accidentally by googling for the family site I set up. I guess I didn't really think ahead when I was using typepad and whatnot. I've moved to a new place, but have the same name. ("I am so smart, I am so smart....")

Interesting coming out story: When I was home for Christmas, my grandpa mentioned something that I hadn't really told my family, or that many people in my real life for that matter. He kind of gave me a look. I blew it off like I must have told them or something. The he made a very obvious comment about something else that I had written. I asked him about it, and he pulled my website up. It was on his favorites. He said he reads it everyday. MY GRANDPA. CAN USE A COMPUTER. And most likely Google. He thinks that I'm a great writer and that he really enjoys reading. I told him to keep it a secret. And I think he has. Maybe.

My husband reads my blog but I don't think any of the rest of the family do. I haven't told any of them about it.

I shared it with a few close friends who I thought would enjoy it. Then they shared it with other people and now there are many people reading it that I know. I guess it kind of limits me and makes me think when I'm writing, but I haven't run into too many problems yet. Except that some of my friends parent's now know I cuss occasionally. Oops.

My best friend reads my blog, and my boyfriend knows about it, but doesn't read it too often. No one else has found it yet, thank goodness, but I don't think there's anything there I'd be ashamed of. Yet.

The blog does have some power, though. Lately, when Mr. M does something silly, he'll tell me about it then follows up with, "This does not go on your blog."

Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it does. Hee.

I actually have a link to my blog at the bottom of my email, so just about everyone I know reads my blog (except my parents, they don't own a computer). It was tough getting used to censoring myself a bit, but since I upgraded, it was wiped clean, so I can start over. I do have another site for things I must vent and very few people (6-7) actually have access to it.

This finding out thing is a terrible fear of mine. All I've done for security so far is to not use any hometown keywords or words about anyone's specific hobby. I'm thinking about trying to learn how to block search engine bots, because all I ever get from google are folks looking for porn.

Oh boy. The great outing! The woman I work with read my blog and found the things I said about her. She made a large scene with me about how after all this, we'll never have any social contact again. That part is fine, but she's a snippy little thing, and I have to work with her all day.

What puzzles me is that most of the evil references to her were buried in the snarkives. (This is a woman who wouldn't read a Time magazine article I gave her because 'it had too many words')

I've started another blog, ( as soon as I figure out how to bring over all the snarkives, I'm shutting down the old one. (I knew she still visits there from time to time.)

It just dosen't make a sucky job suck any less.

Oh yes, I did see a great t-shirt the other day, "Be nice to me or I'll Blog you." It'll be here any day now.

Well I was very open about my blog (my mother was blogging before me). But never expected the diligent ways in which they do read mine and sometimes I have to be very careful about what I post (my in-laws are the ones that worry me). So naturally I can't post about bedroom antics or anything too embarrassing. Also hubby is a paranoid borderline psycho and doesn't like me to post photos of my children or talk about them or him at any great lengths. *sigh* I have a lot of material I could post if only I could.

I've had my blog since the summer, and kept it pretty much just between me and my friends. But a while back I started getting comments from some people I'd known when I was like eight when I lived on the other side of the country. Turns out they googled me, and my blog is the first thing that came up. I have lots of people across the country reading mine, some that I wouldn't like, but I really could care less, if they're taking the time to read it, they can deal with whatever it says.

by the way, im blogrolling you :)

I recently had a comment on my site from someone with no URL and an email address that I didn't recognise, but the name was the nickname of a high school friend of mine. I replied to the comment and said, 'you know, it's funny, but I used to know someone who called himself {insert nickname}'... He wrote back and said it *was* indeed himself and had attached pictures of his family etc... I was lovely catching up again, but I must admit to having a few 'OMG' moments at the thought of him rummaging through my archives (which he had admitted too!)

If no one I knew read my blog, I don't know how I ever would have found readers. They're the only people who read it in the beginning. And they still make up a pretty big part of it.

You're totally not anonymous, though, so you had to know this would happen!! I love that they didn't really tell you but were just so casual about it, like you knew.

Every summer we have a huge pink flamingo (lawn ornaments, not film) themed party that we've dubbed "Mingofest". This past year while checking over our site stats, I noticed that someone with an IP tracing to our teeny tiny little corner of Southern Maryland googled "Mingofest" and ended up on my blog. Had to be either one of our neighbors or one of my husband's [now former] coworkers. There was a bit of panicking and hyperventilating since I've blogged about both groups in less than charitable terms. Whoever it was, they never mentioned it to me, and their IP never showed up on my logs again. :)

I found out not to long ago that my in-laws read my blog. Eek! Now I really watch what I write, not that i ever really wrote about them. But I have also discovered my sisters read my blog. I just watch what I say on it nowdays and I have other blogs should the urge be needed to write something I do not think suitable for them (well in the fiction sense)

I thought you knew....

Congrats on the pregnancy -- Lydia's going to love to have a new friend.

The only one that knows I have a blog is my roomie. I told her when I started it, which felt weird. She then told me she had one already, which was weirder for me. I think I mentioned my blog to my upstairs neighbor, but telling her is like keeping it to myself as she'll never remember. No one else knows, and I think I like it like that.

i told a very good friend about my blog pretty early on. when i asked if she'd taken a look at it she said she had. "and?" i said. "there's just so much there," she said. "i just closed the browser." at the time that bugged me but since then i've learned to appreciate the fact that only one or two of my offline friends read it.

the only family member that knows about my blog is my sister and she never reads it. i'd be shocked if she did. ... she gets it all first-hand anyway. a fact she's probably sorry about sometimes. :D

Um, I'm mean this way, but it's a tradition of the women in my family to say this:

1) They get YOUR last name.
2) I give birth to them.

Thus, I name them. End of story. If you're good, I might let you veto stuff for reasons you must validate.

The baby's name ? Should be:


I give up.

i started a blog on blogger. i was so paranoid people would read about it, that i set it to not be published on the net. sometimes i think about setting it free into the wild, so that people would find me through searches. but then i get all paranoid about it so i don't.

i started a livejournal account because some of my online friends did. i post, but nothing too deeply personal. but at least, this time i know people are reading so it pushes me to be a better writer.

I'm still in the far.

I got outed to my family this past summer. My brother found my blog and called me about it, because he was laughing at something I had written. I knew he hadn't gotten too far into the blog yet, so I was able to rush in and delete some entries about my family (specifically his wife) that were a bit more honest than you would be to someone's face. Kind of annoys me now I have to edit myself so much.

I almost got dooced when my co-workers found my blog... Long story - but it's all good now - I've moved and assumed a new identity. This time? If they find me? I'm just going to say that the similarities are coincidental. The site isn't even registered to me.

So far I have not seen anyone I know personally...I try not to talk about my job...I am SO afraid of getting Dooced...and boy could I tell some stories!

Basically everybody knows about mine. I originally used the domain for a literary journal I edited and published, and most of my family knew about that. When I dumped the magazine and began blogging, I was pretty safe -- most of the family couldn't have given a shit about the magazine, so they never noticed the shift. But eventually it began to bubble up -- a cousin of mine began to blog, and linked to my blog, and emailed everybody and their dogs about his own blog, and almost every one of his whopping twenty visitors a month was family, and almost every one of them were bored by his site, and clicked on the link to mine.

I was raised pretty religiously-uptight (I'm inventing phrases here, but I think you know what I mean), and I'm not really that way as an adult. The first time my parents happened across a post in which the word 'fuck' appeared, they tried to read me the riot act, and it led to a pretty brief confrontation in which I (maybe for the first! time! ever!) stood my ground and they stomped away and now it's basically never talked about.

I've had bosses find it, and so I've had to play the work-bashing a little safe; I've had my girlfriend's father find it, and so I've had to lay off the behind-closed-doors comments, however sly I thought I was about it; I've since had my girlfriend's entire (very very large) family find it.

I'm pretty much totally exposed, but with very few exceptions, it hasn't changed the content or my voice, so I guess I'm okay with it. I of course know plenty of people who have caved to the threat of being found out, in various ways, and I sympathize. It's a hard thing to deal with.

How did they find you? Because that is my greatest fear.

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So the Fish Said...

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