I've been trying to find a way to make this funny, but it just isn't. There is a happy ending though, so stick with me.
Yesterday at 9:27 AM, my OB called to tell me that the quad screen blood test I had last week had returned a much higher than normal indication that the Lima Bean may have Down Syndrome. The results were so bad that they recommended I have an amnio right away rather than waiting a couple of weeks for an ultrasound.
I spent yesterday trying not to cry (I know, I know, it's only an indicator and very likely to be wrong at that, but you try to be logical when it's your kid) and trying to find someone at my OB's office who could figure out how to schedule an amnio. I'm not even going into the fiasco of trying to schedule the test, because it will just make me scream.
When Chris got home, we talked about it and he convinced me to call the OB back and ask some more questions that I had thought of during the day. When I talked to the OB, she took another look at the test results and realized that they had been calculated using the wrong due date. A correct due date is one of the major factors required to get accurate results from this test. They were off by 4 weeks.
The results were completely invalid.
The OB called me this morning with the results of the test using the correct due date.
I am not having an amnio. I am having a super-duper sonogram in a couple weeks just to be sure they don't see any indicators. I am also reading my OB the riot act as soon as I see that the sonogram is normal.
(P.S. to whoever swiped my cheese out of the fridge at work: Stealing food from a pregnant girl? You must be so proud.)