Have I told you guys about Hank? I can't believe I forgot to tell you about Hank! Hank is my new boyfriend. No, I have not replaced Clive. Trust me, if Clive showed up and offered to fill in for Hank, Hank would be kicked to the curb before you could say lickable chin dimple. However, since Clive has yet to show up on my doorstep, I'm making due with Hank.
Hank is the perfect boyfriend. He likes to cuddle, but he never puts his cold feet on you. He doesn't snore or hog the covers or drool on your pillow. He never falls asleep while you are talking to him. He never tells you that you are wrong. If you need a little more space, Hank is perfectly happy to sleep on the floor. Really, kick him right out of bed and you will never hear him complain.
Now sure, everything isn't all peaches and light. Hank isn't a very interesting conversationalist and he's a pretty lousy dresser and he is kind of short. I mean, he's a good couple inches shorter than me, so I feel like I can never wear heels when we are together. But even so, I think we can make this relationship work.
Hank. My boyfriend. My body pillow.