My bio in the format of a Playboy Playmate of the Month.
Name: Beth Fish
Bust, Waist, Hip: None to speak of, round as a beachball, when they say "hip" they really mean "ass," I have a smokin' ass.
Height, Weight: 5'6" and pregnant so no way in hell
Birthdate, Birthplace: 11/14/74 Los Angeles, CA
Ambitions: To not kill my unborn child by sleeping the wrong way, to insure that my cat Callie is immortal because I could not deal otherwise, and to someday find a job that challenges more than my patience. Oh, and world peace.
Turn-ons: Clive Owen, someone rubbing my head, my husband telling me I look nice (which he should do much more of, hint hint), and anything to do with the side of my neck which usually causes me to fall down, in a good way.
Turn-offs: Men who yell at you on the street (does that ever work?), parsnips, not being able to drink for 9 months (ok, 8 months), and pants that are either four inches too long of half an inch too short for my legs.
You can win me over with: Oatmeal cookies and humor.
My idea of fun: Going out. Anywhere. I just like to go out.
Favorite movie: The Princess Bride
Some random personalized question: The best random personalized question for me would be "Why are you such a bitch?" The answer is "Because I can be and you know you love it so bite me."
Come on now, you know you all want to do it.