I have this problem: all of the sudden, I have boobs. Now really, this is not a problem. In fact, I am rather enjoying having boobs for the first time in my 30 years. However, it makes it that much more difficult to find a shirt to wear every morning. I don't actually have any maternity clothes because I am lazy and hate them and a lot of my regular clothes still fit. (Well ok, a lot of my regular clothes still fit up until this week. Now, not so much.) Anyway. The new problem is that the shirts that still fit over my belly all tend to be v-necks or otherwise low-cut, which was never a problem before because a shirt would have to be cut practically to my belly button before I risked exposing boobage, but these days all these shirts reveal a large expanse of cleavage. (Can you believe it? I have cleavage! Me!) This morning, I needed a black tank top to wear under the sweater my mother gave me that I swore I would never wear but I am desperate and wearing it. I tried on the brand new actual maternity tank top I bought this weekend and it was boobs as far as the eye could see. So, I tried a black sleeveless sweater I had from before I got so knocked up. Same problem. Boobs, boobs and more boobs. Then I had a very clever idea! So clever that I am really impressed with myself. And now I look totally hot, in a really pregnant way, and you can't even tell that I am wearing my shirt backwards.
Hey - at least my pants are staying up all on their own and I haven't spilled anything on myself. Yet.
Comments (29)
Gone on... if you've got it flaunt it!
Posted by Amber | March 23, 2005 9:35 AM
That would be... GO on.
Posted by Amber | March 23, 2005 9:36 AM
*And* you get to keep them even after Beanette arrives....longer, if you plan to nurse. I worked with a woman who joked (at least I hope she was joking) that she kept getting pregnant and breastfeeding for long stretches as she adored her cleavage.
Posted by lu | March 23, 2005 9:40 AM
honey, MAYBE it's time to at least find some bigger clothes?
Posted by Jen | March 23, 2005 9:54 AM
I wish I knew what it was like to have boobs and a flat tummy at the same time. I've had both in my life time, but never simultaneously. It's gotta be great.
Posted by RockStar Mommy | March 23, 2005 10:07 AM
Hmm, I'm not really sure what you are saying.
Perhaps a picture would help?
/not really a pervert, but I play one on the internet
Posted by ben | March 23, 2005 10:18 AM
Ok, I have the OTHER side to this issue. I had a meltdown over maternity bras this weekend. Go read for yourself. Love the duck btw.
Posted by bd | March 23, 2005 10:25 AM
i feel your pain, honey. really, i do.
and now i'm finding that because i'm not used to a size d or dd chest (i'm more in the little B range) that they are getting in the way of things. seriously, i can't move my arms the way i used to! okay...you can stop laughing now...
Posted by Ali | March 23, 2005 10:33 AM
Oh, flaunt those babies! They won't be around forever, so you might as well have fun now!
You're a very clever woman. I would have never come up with wearing something backwards!
Posted by Jade | March 23, 2005 10:38 AM
I agree that we are going to need a picture to truly understand.
Posted by alfredsmom | March 23, 2005 11:03 AM
Yeah, try having a chest all the time. Women and men look at you like you're a hooch unless you dress like a nun. I cannot help my chest.
Grrr...
Posted by alektra | March 23, 2005 12:40 PM
Now I am so jealous... you should enjoy having boobs. I have a question though? do you get to keep them or do they return to their original size after you finish breast feeding? I guess you'll tell us in a few months...
Posted by ava | March 23, 2005 12:51 PM
Yeah, like the above poster said, try having them all the time. It's very hard for me to find button up shirts that fit and look nice. Either the buttons between the boobs are popping open, or I look like I'm wearing an overcoat because the thing is so damn big. Enjoy them while you have them, but then you'll be thankful when they're gone.
Posted by Southern Chaos | March 23, 2005 1:46 PM
"Can you believe it? I have cleavage! Me!"
Nope. We won't believe anything without pictures.
Posted by Jon in Michigan | March 23, 2005 1:56 PM
I hate my boobs, really. I miss my less-than-ample bosom. Clothes looked so much better! Ok, well, the belly MIGHT have something to do with that as well, whatever.
Posted by JuJuBee | March 23, 2005 2:18 PM
haha, as much as I feel for ya...there are millions of us that are saying 'haha, now you know what it feels like to be us'...to have clothes that are NOT INTENDED to be provocative look like something Pamela Anderson would wear....
Christ...if they get bigger when I am pregnant...it might be considered a disability!
Posted by wn | March 23, 2005 3:54 PM
backwards! HAR! Becareful the tag doesn't stick up and make your chin itchy!
Posted by Pamalamadingdong | March 23, 2005 4:37 PM
Enjoy the boobs. Maximize the experience--helps bring meaning to it all ;-)
Posted by Ginny | March 23, 2005 4:41 PM
Oh--and I'm not upset at all by my boobage. I've been making the most of it.
Posted by Ginny | March 23, 2005 4:42 PM
After I had my last c-section, Hubby helped me take a shower, not realizing and the warm water getting on them would make them *grow more*. Well, due to medical reasons, I wasn't breast feeding so the milk had no where to go - talk about PAINFUL. They were atleast a triple D no exaggeration... Before that moment I was loving the preggie boobs and I kinda miss them lol.
Posted by Chrissie | March 23, 2005 4:59 PM
Just wait til they start leaking - that's my latest stupid pet trick - I feel like a cow with no calf. Other than that isn't it great to have boobs like a porn star? I'm loving mine (and truth be told, so is Cosmo Boy).
Posted by Marie | March 23, 2005 5:52 PM
Layering shirts has become really great since my boobs are somewhat embarassing. :)
Posted by kat | March 23, 2005 6:01 PM
Pictures, pictures, we need pictures.
Of the backwards shirt not the cleavage silly...
well unless you really want to share that too!
Mr. cactus can share his too so he doesn't feel left out!
Oh I can't believe I said that, excuse me while I go scrub my mind of that mental image!
Posted by Jeff A | March 23, 2005 6:13 PM
i cant wait to get preganant one day and finally have boobs!!!! lol!!
Posted by lizabetty | March 23, 2005 7:58 PM
Here's something to think about...when you have big boobs and you get over 40 and you've had a child, they tend to look down at your feet without a bra. There's something to be said about small breasts, they're liable to stay perky far longer!! But for now, flaunt those bad boys!!!!
Posted by Nina | March 23, 2005 9:58 PM
i bet your husband is the happiest man on the face of the earth!
(the big norgs take a while to get used to and they are only gonna get bigger)!!
hark is that your husband i hear across the seas.... hoorah hoorah hoorah!
Posted by bella | March 23, 2005 10:19 PM
Thank God for small (or not so small) miracles?
Posted by Queen of Ass | March 23, 2005 10:40 PM
Did you notice that most of the requests for pictures came from your MALE readers?
Settle down, boys.
Posted by angela marie | March 23, 2005 11:33 PM
Welcome to Boobville. I have this problem all the time. Cute = too much cleavage for work. No cleavage = frumpy.
Posted by Jazzy | March 28, 2005 2:42 PM