1. I am very busy. Busy, busy, busy. I am also very important, such that the planet cannot continue to rotate on it's axis without my constant engagement. I also have super powers, such as the ability to use my psychic abilities to diagnose and fix problems on a server in Omaha and to make all others bend to and obey my every whim. Therefore, all idiots should immediately cease speaking to me as it disturbs my concentration.
2. I am very hungry. Hungry, hungry, hungry. I must dedicate every moment of free time to finding, procuring and consuming food. About six weeks ago I lost my appetite entirely and had to force myself to eat. My appetite came back. Apparently, all 6 weeks worth at once. I hesitate to look at pictures of food for fear I will eat them. I am considering working from home so I can just sit in my fridge and shovel food into my mouth. Hey, are you going to finish that?
Hey - since I am so busy and hungry and boring, why don't you all go congratulate Jenny, Daddy and Big Brother on the birth of the healthy and certainly beautiful Madeline Grace?