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Pregnant girls are crazy

Pregnant girls are crazy. At least, I am choosing to believe that pregnant girls are crazy because I prefer it to thinking that I am this crazy all on my own. Oh what, you want proof? Fine, here are the latest examples of how I am stark raving mad.

I am wearing a clearly-identifiable maternity shirt to work today for the first time. I have been avoiding this like the plague even though I have been down to 3 non-maternity shirts that still fit for several weeks, because if I wear a maternity shirt to work PEOPLE WILL KNOW I'M PREGNANT! Is that bad? No. So why does it freak me out? No idea.

I got no sleep on Sunday night. And I don't mean "I got no sleep" as in "I only got a couple hours." I mean I got no sleep, as in zero minutes, all night. It was sort of fun, in that at 2 AM I decided to amuse myself by listening to the Lima Bean's heartbeat with my Doppler and at 3 AM I decided to go out and refill the windshield washer fluid in my car. Also, during my night of zero minutes of sleep, I learned that Lima Bean parties all night long. She started going to town at about midnight (do you have any idea how long it has been since I have seen midnight?) and went pretty much non-stop until about 5. Which first of all, yay! Second, no wonder I didn't feel her move earlier. She has to sleep all day to save up energy to breakdance all night. Third, clearly she already hates me and only moves when she thinks I won't notice. Yup, my unborn child hates me. It's the only explanation.

Over the weekend, I was sitting on the couch and Lima Bean decided to move around and she kicked the same spot on my belly a couple times in a row. So, I got Chris to put his hand there in case she did it again. And she did! He felt her kick! But, he hasn't blogged about it. Clearly this means that he doesn't love the baby or else that he already has had three babies by three other women and got all excited when those babies moved so now a baby moving is totally old hat to him. Oh, if for some reason you happen to have had my husband's baby, would you please let me know how big the baby's head was?

Oh yeah, the head thing. I had a really big head. Well, I still have a great big melon head, but it matters less these days since nobody has to squeeze my great big melon head out of any part of their body. Anyway, I am terrified that Lima Bean is also going to have a great big melon baby head. I mean, you know those blow up beach balls? That size. And somehow, I think that would hurt. So I've pretty much decided that she can just stay where she is forever, except that then I would never get to dress her up in Winnie the Pooh outfits.

So yup, being pregnant has made me crazy. Or else, just very very smart to figure out all these things I should be worried about.

Comments (28)

I thought I was paranoid!

Hahahahahaha, that was great!

You're not crazy. You're hormonal.

Don't waste your time hoping your baby has a small-ish head. The head is nothing. It's the *shoulders* you need to worry about. Once you get past the shoulders she'll just slide right out.

A head is a head is a head....believe me, my child had a small head and they still needed the vacuum to get her out!!

As for the pregnancy crazies? Yes, I believe you are correct. I am crazy right now too, and I choose to think it's not a normal thing.

My daughter's head is like "125th percentile." Whatever that means. It's big. Sometimes it's nice to be a male...

Squeezing anything out of any part of your body should be painful! So I'd stop worrying about that and instead focus on Chris' other babies! Find hints and clues around the house. But wait! He had that big bison penis to worry about all weekend! That takes away so much of ones time! So I wouldn't worry about that either.

Hope you get some sleep tonight.

You do realize this is perfectly normal behavior for a woman who is making a person, right? You have to know this, I have been reading you for a while now and you are a lovely and often brilliant woman. I say go with it and milk it...make crazy requests and take advantage of all the love from those around you. C'mon, it's your inalieanable right as a pregnant woman. Take it. :) hahahaha

can you say adorable.... any weird eating habots yet?

I spent my entire pregnancy worrying about the big head fitting through the small hole but it all worked out just fine.

Pregnancy does indeed make you crazy because when I started showing I was so embarassed that everyone would know I had sex! I'm such a moron.

Well I get the whole "not wanting to look pregnant" but not knowing WHY thing. I have it too.

Also get the big head thing...Mr.JuJu has a huge melon and I am afraid. Very afraid. Pray for me and I will pray for you.

Here's a thought...and it's just a thought...but if your Lima Bean is up all during the night you think she might be when she's popped her head out into the world as well?

I see many sleepless night ahead of you.

Sorry....I don't mean to be's all worth it! I know....I had three!

Little Cactus, II had a normal size head.

They always party all night. If only it stopped when they were born.
And don't worry about the head. Even the little ones hurt!

I'm looking forward to ballooning so that I will no longer be expected to bag my own groceries. On the other hand, I hate the horrified looks I get when I lift anything over three pounds. See, we're all crazy, don't worry.

Okay, I'll admit it: I'm the one who had Chris's other three babies. Massive heads one and all. I don't know where they get it.

you really went out and put windshield washer fluid in your car in teh middle of the night?? i would have been scared that the boogey man was outside, lol, no really.
i have been told that my head looked to big for my body, i wish it was like a beach ball so i could let some air out to make it smalller.

Heh, it will be funny for you to go back and read this post after you've given birth. ;)

you sound so much like every other pregnant woman i've known, it's GOTTA be the hormones. especially the ADD. luckily, it's also very cute.

Just remember this. The Epidural is a girl BESTEST of Friends. Who ever invented that stuff should become a Saint...

My husband (and most of the men in his family) are pretty notorious for having GIGANTIC melons. Like they have to special-order their baseball caps gigantic. I have already been told about the beauty of the epidural, even though we are still many moons away from any Lima Beans of our own! :)

Good luck. :) I love reading your blog!

Hehehe! I have news for you...the crazies don't leave even after you've given birth lol!

You can imagine the shock and horror I felt when, in my pre birth scan of my first baby, they measured her head to be 11+ cm! I was all 'Whoa! Someone do the math here!! That head ain't gonna fit through that 10cm hole!"

I always thought the 'explanation' for the night kicking was sweet. That your constant motion during the day lulls the baby to sleep, so once you settle down for the night, she wakes up and starts her Jane Fonda. Aww...

I had a couple big headed babies and no tearing, no ripping, no stitches. A little shoulder dystocia, but that's ok...he's alright now. ;)

Haahahaha! You crack me up :))

I am growing increasingly crazy and I choose to believe that it is the pregnancy also. Go with it until you can't anymore!

My boss recently told me that the first time she was pregnant she didn't want to wear maternity clothes because they made her feel like she was wearing a sign that said "I had sex!" So I guess that is pretty normal and not crazy at all.

So sorry you're still having trouble with the sleep. At least you're finding interesting ways to entertain yourself.

Yep, you are certifiably crazy - just like the rest of us on the Belly Brigade.

I'm going to have to try the staying up all night thing, 'cause either Cosmo Baby is a lazy piece of.. like it's father, or Cosmo Baby hates me.

Look at it this way -- if Lima Bean has a huge head she will pave the way for any subsequent children. I had a large-skulled 9-pounder to start with and the second one (less than 7.5 pounds) was easy as pie.

As long as you get the drugs, you won't notice the head size. *wink*

Nope - you're right. Pregnant gals are crazy. I have yet to get back some of my marbles, but I think that I never needed those marbles in the first place. Think of yourself as 'quirky'.

As for the maternity shirt - go to Michael Stars.They have cute 'maternity' shirts that are actually normal-looking.

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