Pregnant girls are crazy. At least, I am choosing to believe that pregnant girls are crazy because I prefer it to thinking that I am this crazy all on my own. Oh what, you want proof? Fine, here are the latest examples of how I am stark raving mad.
I am wearing a clearly-identifiable maternity shirt to work today for the first time. I have been avoiding this like the plague even though I have been down to 3 non-maternity shirts that still fit for several weeks, because if I wear a maternity shirt to work PEOPLE WILL KNOW I'M PREGNANT! Is that bad? No. So why does it freak me out? No idea.
I got no sleep on Sunday night. And I don't mean "I got no sleep" as in "I only got a couple hours." I mean I got no sleep, as in zero minutes, all night. It was sort of fun, in that at 2 AM I decided to amuse myself by listening to the Lima Bean's heartbeat with my Doppler and at 3 AM I decided to go out and refill the windshield washer fluid in my car. Also, during my night of zero minutes of sleep, I learned that Lima Bean parties all night long. She started going to town at about midnight (do you have any idea how long it has been since I have seen midnight?) and went pretty much non-stop until about 5. Which first of all, yay! Second, no wonder I didn't feel her move earlier. She has to sleep all day to save up energy to breakdance all night. Third, clearly she already hates me and only moves when she thinks I won't notice. Yup, my unborn child hates me. It's the only explanation.
Over the weekend, I was sitting on the couch and Lima Bean decided to move around and she kicked the same spot on my belly a couple times in a row. So, I got Chris to put his hand there in case she did it again. And she did! He felt her kick! But, he hasn't blogged about it. Clearly this means that he doesn't love the baby or else that he already has had three babies by three other women and got all excited when those babies moved so now a baby moving is totally old hat to him. Oh, if for some reason you happen to have had my husband's baby, would you please let me know how big the baby's head was?
Oh yeah, the head thing. I had a really big head. Well, I still have a great big melon head, but it matters less these days since nobody has to squeeze my great big melon head out of any part of their body. Anyway, I am terrified that Lima Bean is also going to have a great big melon baby head. I mean, you know those blow up beach balls? That size. And somehow, I think that would hurt. So I've pretty much decided that she can just stay where she is forever, except that then I would never get to dress her up in Winnie the Pooh outfits.
So yup, being pregnant has made me crazy. Or else, just very very smart to figure out all these things I should be worried about.