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Ok, I've never done this before, but I do occasionally read through the search strings that bring people to my site. Lately, I am getting lots of hits looking for playmates, thanks to calling myself Miss March, and lots of hits looking for pictures of naked pregnant women. So apologies to anyone who came here looking for boobies, but I can offer you a really lovely belly shot if you hit the archives.

Anyway, yesterday I saw a search string that made me laugh so hard I nearly fell out of my chair. I tried it myself and found that I was the third hit for this particular query, but that there were three pages of results, which made me laugh even harder. I really wish I could tell you what the search string was, but I just can't. Instead, I decided that since I had gotten so much entertainment from my search strings, I would share some of my favorites with all you dear people.

rent my boobs
Thanks, but I don't need to anymore. I finally have my own.

falling down the stairs when pregnant
I got this one like 8 times. Yes, I fell down the stairs while pregnant. Is there anybody who didn't fall down the stairs while pregnant? I've never met them.

can you touch pregnant woman's belly?
Not if you are attached to that hand.

pictures of whine poo
I really hope this was supposed to be Winnie the Pooh, because otherwise I just can't imagine.

beth naked pictures
I already said no. I know it's crushing, but you need to get over it.

why are people short waisted
Because someone has to compensate for my 4 foot long torso.

men forced to wear maternity clothes
It was only once. How did you find out?

how to get a fatter belly
Because this is something you want?

things not to say pregnant woman wife
Pretty much anything

cutest belly
I know, but I hate to brag.

beethoven moo
Moo? Moo?

is it ok to poke the baby while pregnant to make it move
Yes! As much as you like! But don't ask your doctor because she will tell you to stop.

a cranky wife
You've been talking to my husband, right?

flaming butt

ugg boots and pantyhose
Ok, Ugg boots were hideously ugly to start with and have also been thankfully over for at least a year. Also, pantyhose are disgusting.

amnio wine
I might have agreed to the amnio if I knew it came with wine.

what is the difference between a pregnancy belly and bloating?
You mean other then the fetus?

random facts about boogers
I just wanted to say boogers on my blog.

how do twinkies get babies
Probably has something to do with the creamy filling.

Comments (19)

see, if i got searches that funny i'd consider letting search engines spider my site again. but all i ever seem to get where the nasty, creepy searches that would send me into momentary bouts of depression.

although, there was that one search for a vagina cross-stitching pattern. that still makes me giggle. can you imagine that on a throwpillow? classic.

OMG, that is SOOO funny!

Twinkies rule -- and I LOVE the creamy filling ---

Not fair! Now I'm DYING to know what the search was that had you laughing so hard!!

haha totally made my morning..... who in the world searches for "boogers" LOL
uhhhhhh (sigh of content) now I can drink my coffee with a smile...

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction!

Well crap!!!! I was gonna work out a trade. I'll show you my naked pregnant body if show me yours! Oh well I guess I will just have to keep that sexy sight to myself and my poor husband who I am sure wishes he was blind right now.

The whole damn thing was great, but you killed me with the creamy filling.

Too funny! So how do you go about finding your search strings?

Hahaha! I love these. But I really am curious about the one you're keeping from us.

What? You don't rent out your boobs? I'm crushed.

...but what made you laugh so hard you fell off your chair??

enquiring minds.

jeez louise, weird stuff.

Iew! Twinkie creamy filling! I'll never look at sweets the same way again!

Ok, that's all pretty damn funny except for the last one. Eeeeewwwwwww!

Well, some of those should brighten your day. Don't let them make you cry.

I always love checking the search strings. Once you get past all the sickening pervy ones, there's always a few good laughs.

wow.....makes me feel lazy since I found you by blog hopping

I actually fell UP the stairs while pregnant.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

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