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Let's talk about breasts, baby

So, does everybody want far too much information about my breasts? Yes? Good.

Did you know that you start producing milk at 30 weeks? You wanna know how I know that? Well, I know because I asked my OB. But, you wanna know why I asked my OB?

Also, you wanna see if I can do an entire post of questions? No? Ok, fine.

I'm reading this book about breastfeeding. Every so often I have to stop reading to show Chris an especially disturbing diagram or to read him an especially disturbing factoid, such as that newborns can nurse 12 hours a day. Anyway, there's this section in the book where it tells you how to test to see whether you have flat or inverted nipples, which apparently makes breastfeeding harder. The test is basically to grab a boob and squeeze. So I did. And guess what? I leak!

That's right folks - I can now make stuff shoot out of my boobs. I feel so, so, mammalian.

(Oops, I forgot to mention that I appear to have just regular old nipples. As long as we are discussing my boobs, you may as well have the whole story.)

Comments (27)

Woo hoo! That is so fun!

Want another disturbing factoid?

Sometimes you never completely stop producing milk. I don't know how common it is, but I still occasionally experience let-down and express teeny little droplets, 4 years after the fact. My midwife had this going on, too, last time I talked to her. Her youngest is 20-something.

So there you have it. Entirely too much info about MY breasts, too!

What is "Cool Party Tricks," Alex.

Next answer?

It probably also says that if you breast feed before giving birth you could throw yourself into labour. Why you would do this before your are ready I don't know, but it is a small deterent from other activities! Ick!!!

~ Jef

but, um, after you squeeze what's suppposed to happen? (i mean, besides the leakage.) How do you tell if you have flat or inverted nipples? I must know this instant!

Now there's an awesome party trick. Or a nifty and unique threat to use when people piss you off. "Shut up before I squirt my boobage into your eye!"

The doctor made the mistake of mentioning this little factoid in front of my husband, who then proceeded to "check and see" if I was producing milk yet at every possible opportunity. At first it was funny, but it got old, fast, and led to many lectures about how my boobs were not udders.

Hey, you could quit your day job and become a wet nurse!

I leaked an itty bit at 38ish weeks. And I cried. I was NEVER able to shoot milk out of my boobs. I'm jealous! What a talent!

This is the third blog I've read today that has talked about boobs.

All of my babies nursed every 2 hours -yep at least 12 times a day. It took 18 months after my daughter weaned for my milk to dry up. I have heard some women take longer. The first time she slept through the night we woke up in a bed that was wet from head to foot - with milk! I am not exaggerating! Drenched!! I started using the breast pads then. Baby cries, milk leaks. Baby doesn't feed on time, milk leaks. Boobs get jiggled a little too much, milk leaks. Have sex, milk leaks. Save yourself alot of dry cleaning and daily laundry of your blouses, buy and use the breast pads! Little milk spots showing where your nipples are is not pretty in public. :-/

And yayyyyyy for you if you are planning to breast feed that beautiful baby!! You will never regret it!

Glad to hear your nipples are normal...breastfeeding the first can be a bit trying, so it's good to have things start out on the right foot, anyway :-) Oh, and if you want a milk shooting contest--I'm game :D

well while we're on the topic of tmi and boobies, i have one inverted nipple and i'm definitely not looking forward to finding out what hardships will come from that in the area of breastfeeding. however, i have heard that sometimes an inverted one can.. outvert itself through breastfeeding. that would be strange

Okay I am blog hopping today and I came over from some other sites... anyway.

I am 9 months pregnant- I squeezed and nothing came out! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! LOL! :)

Oh, this is just the beginning of the boob talk. You will never be able to stop.
BTW, it's good that you can already spray. It's reassuring to know that the girls are working.

Well, now you know what to do when Chris gets out of line....take a boob out and aim.

It's totally awesome. Especially when you're husband is getting on your nerves, you can totally whip the boob out and squirt him.

Good times, good times.

Normal nipples are such a letdown. (which is, in fact, still one word, much to my displeasure.)

Hey, I can still pee standing up. Even if I can't spray folks with my boobs.


12 hours a day? TWELVE hours a DAY?!?!

Oh, that's awesome!

How primitive! Nothing like getting back to our animal roots realizing that they are there for a purpose, not just husbands funbags.

Those are totally adorable!

yikes! that's never happened to me before!!! not that i've ever tried it either....

I love me some good ol' fashioned TMI!

LOL! Gee, I'm so glad the pregnancy days are behind me.

I didn't stop making milk after my last son (who is 5 now) until I got pregnant in January.

My boobs took about 2 months off, and then got right back to it.

Enjoy it now, while you still can!

how long to you think you might nurse?? there are moms at my work who are still nursing.... their walking, talking, feeding themselves, two and a half year olds! to me, that is weird, what do you think? i mean the kid walks up to mom and says, "i wanna nurse!" maybe its normal, i am not a mom, i dunno.

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So the Fish Said...

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