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Since you asked

A number of you have asked how you can jump on the bandwagon of sending unbearably cute things to my unborn child. I am very touched and honored that any of you charming internet people would want to send the Lima Bean gifts, but there's a small problem. I am indescribably paranoid. So paranoid that Chris and I have vowed that we are not giving our address to anyone who doesn't already have it because come on, have you heard the stories of people killing pregnant women and stealing their babies? Not that any of you amazing and attractive and did I mention thin people would ever consider doing such a thing, but my hormones are in charge of my brain at the moment so that's just how it's going to be.

And here's the other thing. See, Chris and I are doing pretty well for ourselves (although I might get fired in a couple weeks which would change things considerably) and we could really get this kid three of everything she would ever want or need if we were so inclined. Add in two sets of insane grandparents and it goes to six of everything she would ever need. I'm trying to find a polite way to say that I'm loaded, so unless you are also loaded I would prefer that you spend your hard-earned money on you instead of on me.

However! Because I know how much fun it is to shop for baby stuff and because the very thought that people I have never met would send presents for my baby makes me cry just a little bit, I have set up an online registry here so that if you are so inclined you can send the Lima Bean a little something, for which, despite my bad attitude, I would be deeply grateful.

In return, I promise to tell the Bean all about the crazy wonderful internet people who knew her from way before she was even born, and also promise to make every effort to post pictures of anything you send being put to good use (although there is the possibility that will mean dressing up the cats).

Or... if you want to do something for the Bean and would consider making a charitable donation instead, please consider this organization.

Comments (29)

Hey, I'll take donations! I'll even come pick them up.

Only, because, you know, nobody ever offered to send cute things to MY kid(s) and I need attention (desperately) so I'm gonna clog your comment section with my BS whiny grovelling.

carry on...

hooray! I completely understand about the being paranoid thing, really I do, but thank YOU for understanding that we love ya'll and deeply desire to buy cute baby stuff for the BEAN!!

killing pregnant women and stealing babies. ew. just ew. i'm gonna have to do a lot of work to get those horrid images out of my mind.

i'm with you on the paranoid thing though. i had a couple of small issues with people (read: guys) not understanding the meaning of boundaries. that's why you'll not find my name anywhere on my site and one of the reasons i don't let google index it. the less weirdos i have to deal with the better, no matter how attractive and thin they are.

are there books on your registry because the only things i ever give as shower gifts are books. cuz, uhm, i think it's never too early to start on the book obsession. :D

While it may not be quite as fun as sending gifts to someone you "know", people feeling the desire to buy cute baby things could always buy stuff and donate it to charity. I am sure there are plenty of babies out there who are not so fortunate as the Beanette. Why not pick something for the Beanette, take a picture of it, send the picture to Beth and then donate it to charity in honour of the Beanette. Just a thought.

Hmmm that's probably a very wise decision.

Jen, that is a very good idea.

Well, I hate to be a heavy, but I ran into an army medic shipping out about a month ago in the airport. I asked if I sent things to the troops, what would they need. She responded that many of the children in Iraq need cloths. Specifically baby clothes. Medics are usually the ones handing stuff out to civilians who are injured or in need.

I know the lima bean needs stuff, but I think you have that covered. May I suggest, your patrons make a donation to the Red Cross or Crescent Moon ear marking it for children in Iraq or Afghanastan?

Just a thought.

Jef

I totally understand the paranoia. Wait until she's born! With my first I used to be afraid that while I napped someone would come in the house and steal him. Luckily it wasn't so bad that I couldn't take a nap (at the time I desperately needed the naps) but still, it caused me heartache. Now I just have to check that Mina is still breathing when she sleeps all the time.

You are totally like most of us in the paranoid department...I compleletly understand. I did however pick up a book that I found amusing and bought it with the intent of sending it to you. Yet since then I admit I haven't made any attempts at actually getting it to you :) I'm one of THOSE people...procrastinators! So maybe I should just keep it now that I know your wishes...OR I could take a picture of EVERY PAGE and email them to you...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I am so all about the boundaries. I figure that if you are able to own property within the DC Beltway, you are certainly able to take care of your family. I'll offer nothing more than my continued congratulations!

Wow, you are even gracious when you say 'piss off you can't have my address' ;)

Great idea. The gifts are soooo cute!!! I'm going to have to get one 4 too...

Okay...this totally explains the lack of response from Cactus when I told him I bought you guys a present back in April and wanted to send it....point taken, charity it is. Best wishes anyways!

Wow, you are beautiful, smart, have a rockin' husband AND you're loaded. Can we hate you any more?! =)

Thank you for the options. I second Jen and Jef's suggestions. There are so many children who don't have even the basics so if I ever have an extra couple of bucks, I would buy some ultra-cute baby stuff for charity.

You might also look into upromise (urpomise.com) and see about setting up the Bean College Fund so all those generous readers out there can contribute to the education of the Bean who is sure to cure cancer or write the greatest piece of literature since Shakespeare seeing as how she's got the most cleverest parents of all time. Lucky girl!

I can totally understand about not giving your address out, I'd be paranoid too. And I'm sure you're right, lima bean is going to be a very lucky little girl! :)

You're right, Fishy, there are some crazy sumbitches out there.

Which reminds me, I need your address for a, um... candy-gram.

People are begging to send you stuff? You poor thing. For the sake of your safety, I am WILLING to give you my address and accept donations on your behalf....


I am delurking to admit to thinking of sending a baby gift. Then I thought "she'll probably think I'm a crazy internet lady and rubbed in poison or something." Reverse paranoia? So I'll just give you the link to the one product that made four years working in an infant daycare bearable:
http://www.miracleblanket.com/index.htm
(I don't know why they had to go name it `miracle blanket' like some late-night infomercial but it does work like a charm.)

Here, I'll give you MY address and you can send me all you want :)

Hey - I've already got your address. I think I may have been one of the first with a wee gift for baby. And I'll look at that charity. I think I'd like to do that.

Thanks,
Carol


Hi,

I am delurking to say how happy I am for you and your husband. I love reading both of your blogs.

I think that it is a good move on your part to keep your address a secret. I am sure that you would not let the beanette share it with everyone on the internet, you should do the same thing that you would tell her to do!

My best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and delivery and a long happy life as a family.

WOW you are a lucky gal! I couldn't even get gifts from family members let alone strangers!lol!
Not even a shower... Sob.

Good luck with your bean!

you're loaded? cool, wanna hire a nanny?? lol...i wouldn't want to give out my address either, the online thing is a good idea :)

I'm going to sew him his own little lima bean outfit, whether I can give it to him or not.

i am so glad your not giving out your address, (from last comment months ago) and also am glad to hear your doing well.....

I'm not loaded, I totally get the paranoid thing (I didn't think about that when I first asked you if I could mail your unborn child a gift having never met any of you, but I totally get it now!), and I love to buy baby stuff. But I think I'll just be content with the photos of the stinkin' cute outfits that you and Cactus buy for Beanette. I'll be especially tickled when you post photos of her wearing those outfits.

I don't blame you for not giving out your address - I knew someone who had their own domain registered to them - they posted on a message board that they were going on vacation, and when they got home their house had been completely ransacked. The culprit found her address by doing a whois search on her domain name.

Yikes!

I like Jen and Jef's suggestions too. Charitable contributions are a good thing.

I feel much better now...I am like you paranoid! Its the job! for sure!

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So the Fish Said...

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