So, the baby has a new thing. No longer content to just kick me non-stop, she has decided that the most comfortable way to spend her time is to wedge her entire body as tightly as possible into one of the top corners of my uterus. (Does a uterus have corners? That's what it feels like, so I'm going with it.) At first, this was sort of cool because I could feel her there and I spent several days grabbing Chris's hand and saying "there, feel that hard spot? That's the baby." However, I just noticed that not only can I feel her wedging all 16 or so inches of herself up under my ribs, I can also see her in the form of a large lump sticking out noticeably farther than the rest of my belly. When she gets tired of that, she heads off to bounce on my bladder like a trampoline.
As long as I'm complaining, I can't seem to keep my pants up. How are you supposed to keep your pants up when you have no waist?
Also, I noticed something disturbing last week. My thighs are terrifying. If Jabba the Hutt had thighs, I'm sure they would look pretty much like mine. Now, I've never had especially thin thighs so I don't know why I'm surprised, but things had been going so well and I feel a little betrayed.
So let's see... I'm fat, I'm lumpy, I have to pee every 10 minutes, and my belly button is about three seconds from popping out and causing severe bodily harm to anyone who happens to be standing in it's way. But I? Totally make it look hot. Swear.
I think I need a cookie.