I really wish I had a better story for you today. I figured that if I got nothing else out of the La Leche League meeting last night, I would at least get several amusing anecdotes to share with the internet. Sadly, that is not the case. I went to the meeting, the women there were remarkably normal and rational and non-militant and there was not a single eight year old taking shots off the breast in between rounds of Grand Theft Auto on his Playstation. The only remotely out-there comment was about using breast milk to cure pinkeye, which I have heard before from fairly reliable sources.
I have to admit that I am slightly disappointed that there was not a single crazy boob fiend in attendance - at least not one that made her presence known. Instead, they were friendly and kind and seemed genuinely interested in being helpful and supporting to the first time breeders in attendance. Also, they had some really cute babies. I didn't learn anything new - I've already read quite a bit about it - but it was reassuring to spend a little time with women who do this and to worry a little less that it will be too hard for me.
I'm sorry, I know that you are all as disappointed as I am. I promise to dedicate myself to having and reporting on a bizarre breast experience just as soon as possible to make it up to you.