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There's one thing I hate about being pregnant, and considering all the inconveniences and indignities that go along with being pregnant, I think that only hating one thing about it is supremely reasonable. Lots of maternity shirts have these little ribbon things on the sides that you are supposed to tie in the back. I dislike the ribbon things because I don't quite see the purpose. Am I supposed to buy everything four sizes too big and use the ribbons to lash the shirt to my body? What I hate though is the part where you tie the ribbons in the back, because I cannot for the life of me get the damned bow perfectly centered in the middle of my back and I walk around all day obsessing about my lopsided ribbons. Seriously. I worry about this a lot.

Any volunteers to come over and dress me in the morning? Obsessive, high-maintenance personality required.

Comments (25)

OCD? Check.

I'd come if I wasn't organizing my closet by color today.

I HATE all the ribbons that go along with being pregnant. Why oh why does there need to be ribbons? Is it so you can REALLY accentuate your belly? Like people might just think you're fat if you're not sporting a bow somewhere on your body?
"Heeey look at the fat chick over there...she's a real porker...oops..oh no..look, there's a bow...clearly she's just pregnant. dum dee dum..moving on."

i'm so with you on the lopsided bow hatred. they drive me nuts.

That what scissors are for....

Haha, I would love to help you. But it would be quite a commute to my work from your house.

Cut those ribbons off!

Also: you are very reasonable only hating one thing. I can actually only think of one good thing about pregnancy--getting a baby. Everything else is just a gross invasion of privacy, of personal space-- but that's just me, there are others that glow. I did not. I sweat and got large and belchy.

Oh, sorry, let me check my calendar, no, the commute from the midwest would kill me.

Can you tie them before you put them on and just have them be loose?

Seriously the greatest maternity/post maternity shirts ever made on this planet...bloom maternity (the denver one).
You would probably have to order them, but soooooo worth it. They're form-fitting (so no ribbon), can be dressed up or down, cute as s$#t, and not too expensive. ASnd they're made to work just as well after lima bean comes. I have two, and wear almost nothing else.
Becoming mothers in Boulder, CO, carries them, and so does Belly in Cherry Creek, Denver, Co.

they put those ribbons on the plus-size ladies' shirts too. something about having a round tummy that screams "Ribbons" to the fashion designers of the world.

I would but since Mr. Cactus put that restraining order on me I'm not even allowed to look at the belly pics anymore! ;-)

I'm a pretty good shoe-tie'r kinda guy ... don't know about the sashes / lashes / ribbons though -- I sort of fumble with those sorts of things... I do, however, fit the 'high maintenance, crazy personality' profile -- did you mention crazy? Oh wait - you didn't -- sorry .. forget about it...

Oh I hated all the bows in the front more! Right above the big belly...made absolutely no sense to me why those were needed! Grrr!

D-d-d-dress you in the morning?

Uh...umm...ok breathe, breeeeaaathe. Uh, no, that's wouldn't be appropriate to do that. I...uh...wouldn't even...think...about doing something like that...not think once about it....even late at night...when I'm alone.

I believe the ribbons are a kind of answer to the one size fits all for pregnant woman since clearly we are all different sizes.

I'm ready to design my own line of clothing. Seriously. Can't deal with what's currently out there.

Doesn't Chris help? He seems helpful!

Sure! You don't mind getting dressed at midnight though, do you? Because I have to be at work by 8.

Can't help with the ribbons.

I always thought it would be nice if you could "not look pregnant" just one day a week. But I was never able to achieve that.

Never fear, there's only a few more weeks to fret about ribbons, and then you won't have to think of till you tie little bows in a little girl's hair. That is if you're inclined to bows in little girl's hair

do the ribbons bother your back, when you lean against them in a chair??

why the hell can't your husband help make sure your bow is presentable, dammit?

*i'm sure there must be a very good reason.

Never thought of it as I don't do ribbons of any type hee!!

I used to tie and untie and tie again every morning. Then, when I got to work, I would ask person after person if the tie was straight. And then I would make them tie and untie and tie again just to calm me down. I feel your pain!

I never wore any maternity shirts. I just wear larger t-shirts and shirts that are long enough to cover my belly!

I am always worrying if my ponytail is straight though! LOL!

You could always tie them around the front. You can monitor the ribbon and start a new fashion trend.

i'm very anti-bow when in comes to maternity clothing, so i really can't help you out! sorry!!

Yeah - I'm not a big fan of maternity clothes either. Especially the ones with ribbons or ties or bows. Ack!

Just think - in less than 2 months, you won't have to wear those gawdawful things anymore!

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So the Fish Said...

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