First of all, I want to go on the record as saying that in my dream, Johnny Depp was recently showered and groomed and wearing clean clothes. I do not go for the grungy thing at all. (Although if he had been grungy I could have made him take a shower, which has definite potential.) Second, my husband has publicly accused me of having luring dreams about Johnny Depp and that is flat out untrue. The total lack of luridness is the entire problem with my dream. I can't understand why I wasted all that time making the world safe for democracy with Johnny Depp when we could have been doing really important things, like smooching. The truth is that my lurid dreams tend to feature my husband rather than hunky celebrities. I know, I'm pitiful, but you can all shut up about it because I am not the least bit ashamed that I love my husband and think that he's a hotty. (Still though - would a little dreamland Johnny lovin' really do any harm?)
Anyway, I unfortunately still do not have any crazy or amusing boob stories to share with the internet. We went to the breastfeeding class last night, it was informative, we went home. The only slightly odd part was that the instructor had a stuffed breast on a string to use as a visual aid. I was wondering about the string, and then I started to think that maybe it was a stuffed breast yo-yo and I got all excited. Stuffed breast yo-yo! That rocks! You could learn how to walk the dog with a stuffed breast! Or make it sleep! I totally need to get one of those for the baby. Why give her a stuffed bear or cat or hippo when I can give her something she will really like - her very own breast! Sadly, it turned out that it was not in fact a stuffed breast yo-yo and rather just a plain old stuffed breast attached to a string for some inexplicable reason. Perhaps so you can walk down the street jauntily twirling it? Like a pocket watch?
I apologize for letting you all down with my lack of interesting breast stories. I will strive to do better in the future.