What? Like you never got distracted and totally ignored your blog for a while? At least I answered all my emails at 4 AM Saturday morning, and if that's not dedication I don't know what is. Have I mentioned that I am almost entirely unable to sleep? Have I also mentioned that I am almost entirely unable to eat? I don't even want to talk about what it takes for me to roll over in bed, but I can promise you that it isn't pretty. I will tell you, because I have no shame, that in the space of two hours last night I had to pee at least 6 times. It's magic living with me these days, truly it is.
Anyway, I had a busy week, considering I was on vacation and all. My house is painted, my carpets are cleaned, some of the baby clothes are washed and sorted and put away, and there are four big bags of clay sitting in my bushes waiting for my poor husband to haul them out to the corner. (Anybody wanna come help with that? They can't weigh more than a couple hundred pounds a piece.) My crappy old sliding doors have yet to be replaced by my beautiful new french doors and I have not heard a peep from the contractor in over a week, so I figure I will give him until tomorrow to call me and then I will break out the wrath of the pregnant lady who's nesting instincts are being trifled with and I'm sure that will get him right into line.
I had two experiences this week that made me think "holy cow, I have to blog this!" but as it turns out they were really only funny if you were there. The first was when I was in line at the ATM behind someone who, as far as I could tell, was trying to use the ATM to transfer funds to a numbered Swiss bank account. She just kept hitting buttons. There's nothing you can do with an ATM that requires hitting that many buttons. The second was the 20 minute lecture I got on the features and benefits of the automatic toll paying doohickey we have around here. I went to exchange my husband's non-functioning doohickey for a new doohickey, because I am an excellent wife, and the guy behind the counter was really, really into it.
See, not funny. Told you.
I also had two baby showers, and there is no longer any way to deny that the Bean has an absolutely embarrassing amount of stuff. I am seriously ashamed of myself. The shame is nicely tempered, however, but how freaking cute everything is. The shower yesterday netted our stroller and car seat and having them sitting in the living room last night finally made me realize something. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby and have to bring it home and take care of it and she's going to cry and spit up and have trouble with Algebra and date scummy boys and break her collar bone playing field hockey and I am in no way prepared for any of it and I am scared out of my ever-loving mind and don't know how I can possibly stand to wait another 5 weeks to see her.
All pregnant girls are bipolar, right?