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Time to put me on news blackout

I was going to write this really whiny post today about poor poor me and how I am suffering what with my sore hips and tired legs, but it all seems like such bullshit when people are getting blown up for just trying to get to work or abducted by known child molesters or all of the other shitty things that happen all the time that you just don't think about or else you would go insane.

Can somebody tell me how you do this? How you put your child out into the world and resist the urge to barricade yourself in a cave with an AK-47 and a lifetime supply of Slim Jims and your TiVo? I don't know how you do that and I am freaking out a little bit because that cave is starting to sound like a really reasonable option to me.

Comments (34)

You just remember all of the good things that life has to offer. And remember that the odds of something horrible like what you're seeing on the news today ever happening to you or your child are slim.

And, you take heart in the fact that you're the kind of person that sees these things and truly cares. Which means you're a good person, which means your daughter will be a good person as well. The world needs as many of those as we can get.

My child is only 2 so she has yet to be outside our walls without me or her father or a close relative - when that day comes though, when she wants to actually go outside without me around, where I can't actually physically SEE her, I'm going to freak the hell out. I freak out just thinking about it. The world is full of really shitty people.

because i have no life all of my references are based on books i've read or some show i've watched. so ... during an episode of chicago hope, a doctor said to a mother, "I know how you feel."

the mother cut her off and asked her if she had a child. the doc said no. so the mother said, "then you don't know how i feel. having a child is like tearing your heart out of your chest and giving it legs."

that image has stayed with me for years and i can honestly tell you that it is 100 percent true.

I like the slim jim and Tivo idea myself. I think if you check out Good Morning Vietnam you can see this from a historical perspective. And the reason we don't hide and keep our children locked up is because we need more good people out there to counter the wacko's running around. A good verse that comes to mind is from Matthew I think, "Take heart, for I have overcome the world."

~Jef

I feel the same way. Some days I just watch what goes on around me and say, "nevermind, I don't want my child to have to live with this." But then I look at all of my friends with kids and they seem to do okay, so I say it can be done. But man does it scare the hell out of me.

Because you and your husband being loving people makes the world better. Because in the heart of hormonal crankiness you have the presence of mind to ask your readers to tell your husband he's a rockstar. Because oodles of your readers told your husband he's a rockstar. Because feeling the soft, squishy, sleeping baby in your arms and smell it's baby-powder head will help make your little corner of the world all right and you will walk out into the world with that feeling.

This post and the comments with it brought tears to my eyes. You're absolutely right, it's terrifying.

It's strange, though: my daughter makes me feel both completely helpless and more powerful than I've ever felt. I think you'll probably know what I mean. I have moments of being worried to death about her getting sick or hurt, but at the very same time I know that I would fight any threat against her to the last fiber of my being -- and I have this sense that as long as that's true, I can't really ever lose her. It doesn't seem like much, maybe, but a mother's (or father's) love is pretty strong stuff.

PS I hope your sore hips and tired legs feel better soon.

I hear you--this (and my insane fear of responsibility) is probably the main reason why there are no plans for a Bean of my own in the foreseeable future.

I don't know how you can ever deal with the freakishly random acts of violence, but I think you can combat everything else with the knowledge that when the time comes for your kid to venture in the world, you will have taught them everything possible about being smart and protecting themselves and being vigilant. And with any luck, your kid will be such a positive force that she will in fact combat some of the sadness of the world.

That said, if you opt for the cave, I'll send you some cookies.

You become really aware of all things at all times and never let your kids out of your sight. But that's really not a big deal because even after several years of having them around, it's still amazing to look at them and realize THIS IS WHAT MY KIDS WILL LOOK LIKE, I'VE WONDERED FOR SO LONG AND NOW I KNOW.

Parenthood-I highly recommend it even when the whole world appears to have gone batshit crazy, kid chaos keeps you sane.

These days we get all our news from the net so our 2 and 4 yr olds don't see it on the TV. They are always with us or the MIL or at care so we know they are safe. Of course this will only work while they are young and soon they will realise how screwed up the world is.
After spending several hours last night madly calling/emailing London because we have a half dozen mates there (there are probably as many 30 yr old Aussies in London as there are 30 yr old Londoners), it makes me really glad today is my at home day and I can just hang with the kids. They are quite the tonic...

I ponder doing that on a daily basis. The trouble is, that woudl essentially punish them from all the good things.

We do what we can to keep them safe. We do our very best and hope we don't outlive them.

I don't have the solution to the world's problems, but I know that I don't want to fall over and play dead and give the bastards of the world the satisfaction of having "won". So I keep living.

Besides, I could never have an AK-47. Cause then I'd be afraid one of my kids would hit puberty and go off the deep end and open fire on me.

See??? There's no good answer. Maybe the hippies were right. Maybe we should just give the whole world a bong...or extacy...or...something.

scary world we live in unfortunately.

just found the blog, it's cute :o)

The only reason that doesn't happen here is that then my kids would miss out on the exuberant hug of a fellow preschool playmate, the innocence of a first kiss, the fury of a thunderstorm, and the awe that having a butterfly land on you inspires. And the world would miss out on the particular chuckle my son has when I kiss his neck, the shy smile of my oldest when she's proud of her accomplishment, and the spontenaity of my youngest's conversations. I can't stifle those things but when I think of the mothers of the victims of these tragedies, I contemplate changing my mind.

My son is 6, and he's beginning to want to take those steps to independence. And while that is something I want to foster, I feel like there's some delicate balance between releasing the apron strings a little bit (as in, letting him THINK he's being all big shot independent), or hovering in one of those over-protective mother hen kind of ways. I think it's probably a balance that I'll never quite get the hang of. Welcome to parenthood.

Believe me some days I want to do the same thing. Then other days you realize that life has to go on and that is what you do you go on. You teach your kids that the crap that is going on now is the crap we all have to work together to make stop. I raise my kids with the idea that they can and will make a huge difference. I truely believe they all will!

You trust, and hope. I wish I had a better answer than that.

I just take it one day at a time and when there are good days, file them away to remember on those bad days and always appreciate what you have. I am still in awe and appreciate every hug that my little son gives me. And when that happens, the world (my world) is just right.

P.S. These posts are awesome! What a great group!

deep breaths...one day ata time is right, and laugh lots!

I understand. I have a 2 year old and I have already begun to panic about his first day of school which is another 3 years away. Was it like this when we were that age? Did our parents have the same worries? I asked my Mom and her memories were not like my reality. Abductions cannot be new. Perhaps news just travels faster or perhaps there is just more of everything. All I know is that when I hold my son's hand everything is o.k. It will be that way for you as well. Good Luck. - Gatsby

You can't warp your children up in cotton wool, however tempting it may be. Doing so, lets the evilness of the world win. Fortunately, the good things outweigh the bad.
Just think, your child may grow up to be the one who makes a difference in this messy world.

I so hear you on this. My kids are 9, 7 and 5 and the cave sounds VERY tempting still.

Because even in a cave your baby can get bit by a strange bug or fall off a rock. You learn very quickly that you can't protect them from everything. You can worry about them, but you can't let it overcome you (and it will try). But just wait, once you get that first smile, the first hug or first "mama", you remember that there is still good in the world.

It is a scary scary world we live in - my home has become my cave - it takes all of my strength to leave.

It's all about perspective isn't it?

Me? Well I am one of the more paranoid mothers...I have the proverbial barricade around my kids and am extra cautious, and I don't care if other mom's call me over-protected...I know I can't protect them all the time, and save them from the world but at least I can feel good about knowing I'm doing as much as I can...I am not going to make it easy for the f*ckers of the world. You and Chris seem like sensible people, you will find your comfort zone and stay in it, that's all you can really do. But you can't let the few monsters take away from the true joy of what is about to happen to you. You will be a great Mommy! Even if you opt for the AK-47 ;)

i am with you girl, all this crap makes you want to build a fort on a hill somewhere and live in a commune...

You do it with lots of hugs, kisses and I love you's.

Just wanted to say good luck in case you go into labor while I'm away. I'll be gone for over 2 weeks in South Africa. Then again, some of those folks who guessed a late due date might be right! :-)

Is the cave and the AK-47 a bad idea? Because, I am right there with you. I hear the Luray Caverns are quite nice and we could easily kick out a bunch of tourists with the "crazy mom" look. ;) Seriously, I don't know how parents do it. Lots of hope, intuition, nail biting, and maybe a few margaritas.

You give them an extra tight hug and a big kiss every time they let you! Seriously, I think right now while the kids are so young (3 and 15 mo) we are wrapped up in this tight little circle and I don't worry so much. I think when they start real school (and not tightly controlled church daycare) I will have a panic attack. Ever seen "One Fine Day" when the kid calls and says "Mommy, whats LSD?" HEART ATTACK. HEART ATTACK. So, hey, we have a few years before that happens!

Hi Beth,

I think the answer is Faith. The type faith I mean is the type where we believe we can make a difference in our tiny little part of the universe.

We hope our lives are happy and filled with love and laughter. Remember, to an extent, we create the environment we live in.

You and Chris will do a wonderful job of creating a universe filled with meaning and joy for Beanette...

Faithfully yours,
dianne

Because, at the end of the day, when your child tells you the new things s/he learned in school, or the new flower they smelled, or the way Max, the cat down the street likes to roll in the dirt... it's all worth it and when they grow up and are a shining light in this dark world, you can take comfort in knowing that light always defeats dark and good will overcome.

Its not easy, thats for sure. You can control alot thru parenting. Some parents just don't care or maybe they just don't know what to do.

I can't tell you how many *little* kids I see wandering around alone outside after dark. I don't let my kids do that. I always know where they are and who they are with. I make my 13 yr old carry a walkie talkie. He says I am a nerd, owell ;).

I avoid the news too or I really would never leave the house. But all in all you will be just fine, you and Chris are going to be great parents!

The cave, definitely.

This coming from a man whose children said "why is that building broken?" constantly a few years ago, and still fields the question "have they killed the bad man in the desert yet?" on a weekly basis.

you have to have hope that things will improve...

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