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I got about 40 minutes of sleep last night, so keep that in mind with the randomness to follow.

Randomness #1
Thanks to all of you for the comments on my last post. I have decided against the cave with the slim jims and AK-47 route because, well, for one thing I'm a vegetarian and for another I think the second amendment should be repealed. (If anybody wants to defend the second amendment, I invite and encourage you to do so. On your own website. Thanks.) So, clearly that was not a good plan. However, I really appreciated all the kind and thoughtful comments that you guys left and took them to heart, so thank you for that.

Randomness #2
Does anybody know how to get paint out of carpet? My current method involves Oxy Clean, hot water, a stiff bristled brush, a circular scrubbing motion, and forever. It works, but the forever part is a bit of a drawback.

Randomness #3
While we are on the subject of carpets, does anybody have any brilliant ways to get my cat to stop peeing on the carpet and to get the stink out of my house? Yelling and Nature's Miracle are not cutting it.

Randomness #4
I realized yesterday that I had lunch with Bad Penguin last week and nothing Very Bad happened in my life. You see, in the past, every single time I have met a blogger in person (which is not very often) it has been either immediately preceeded or immediately followed by something Very Bad happening to me. These Very Bad things have nothing to do with the blogger in question, but the trend has been a little bizarre. I feel like a curse has been lifted. I'm hoping this also means that my recent trend of August being a really shitty month has also ended.

Randomness #5
I went to the OB on Friday, and the Lima Bean shows no signs of being in any hurry to be born. The good news was that I only gained one pound in the past two weeks, for a grand total of 33 and with any luck not much more than that because I am in serious danger of compromising the smokingness of my ass if I gain any more weight.

Randomness #6
I was going to post another belly picture this week now that I'm in the home stretch, but frankly I am too lazy to do it. So, just picture last week but bigger.

Randomness #7
Anybody who comes up with a way to get me out of work for the next three weeks wins a prize. Please? Pretty please?

Comments (30)

On randomness #3...I am also very interested in whether getting the cat pee stink out of carpet is possible. Please someone help! We gave up on stopping the cat from peeing and moved a litter box into the living room. It sucks, but at least now she stopped peeing on the carpet.

Getting out of work ... hmmm ... shoot your cat with your gun whilst it pees on your bosses carpet. Yep, ... that will do it.

On the carpet. If you have remnants and you spilled a small amount of paint, just cut a plug and patch it. That's easier than cleaning provided the spot is small.


You have to work right up to your due date?? Ewwww.
Over here, when I was having my first, you finished 6 weeks before your due date. If you wanted to work longer, you had to have a medical certificate. Though, that was a Gov't job where they gave you 12 weeks paid maternity leave...

I hate to tell you that since I was 6 days late with my firstborn, I worked PAST my due date. What was I thinking?

Also. When our cats started to out-pee each other, we had to get rid of them. I know you are thinking I COULD NEVER DO THAT, but just wait until you want your beautiful little baby girl (or boy, in my case) to scoot around on the carpet. Cat pee stains + beautiful baby = new loving home for cat, not baby.

I have 2 solutions for the cat pee predicament.

#1. Pull up the carpet and the pad. Throw them away. SCRUB the concrete. Replace the pad and carpet. Too expensive? Too time consuming? To much of a pain in the ass? Thought so...

#2. You can try things like Oxi Clean, but your carpet starts smelling like Chemical City. My mother passed along "Planet Urine" to me. It sounds hokey. It's actually a 4 step program, but it really does help. If you JUST need to remove the smell, you only need step #3, the bottle of "Smells No-More!" but if you want to KEEP the cat from peeing there, you'd need all 4 steps -- Soil Release, Urineout Powder, Smells No-More and No-P. You can find all of the products online at They really work. AND -- they're cheaper than replacing the carpet. :)

We've had luck with Goo Gone or Goof Off - for the paint, not the cat pee. Although it does work better when the paint is still wet. Cat pee, I don't know. I think that stink stays forever.

Wow, I'm glad I didn't know about the meeting bloggers in person curse, or I would have been way more nervous. Now, however, I can add "curse-breaker" to my resume!

On #3---I've been having the SAME problem. Forever. We've replaced the carpet, but inappropriate peeing remains a problem. Someone on my blog recomended feliaway, which we are trying right now, to get her to stop. Been VERY angry at my cats lately, and that hasn't helped, I'll be watching your comments to see if you get any better advice than me :P
On #7--I'm betting a note from your mom wouldn't suffice???

get a metal can and fill it with a few coins. then when you see your cat about to or in the middle of a pee, jangle the can because cats hate that sound and if everytime they try to pee on the carpet and they get canned, then they'll eventually stop doing that to avoid hearing it.

also, maybe they pee on the carpet because they aren't happy with their litterbox. could be that it's not filled up high enough, not changed often enough or is too small.

if all else fails, consider taping a diaper to your cat! heehee... probably won't work, but it sure will be a hoot to see!!!

I just have to respond to angela marie's suggestion to get rid of the cats. In no way am I accusing you of being this type of person, but the bulk of our population today feel that getting rid of an animal is an easy solution. Pets are like humans, in no way are they expendable, and when you own an animal you should be prepared to care for it until its death, not just until you get a new baby. I have chosen not to have children, because I fell that animals express enough to me that I do not need children, I do realize that some people do not feel the same, but I felt the need to express my opinion. Thanks

For the paint- I second the goo gone or goof off metod recommendation (one is stronger than the other, I can't remember which) but test them on the carpet in a little place first to avoid disintegration or bleaching. It's the only thing we suggested when I worked in a paint department! (It is latex paint, not oil, right?)

Random #3... my friend who had a peeing cat was at her wits end and on the second vet they finally did a test and it turns out the poor thing had a raving infection... hasn't diddled on the carpet since.

I've had some cat pee problems latley too. We took in two stray kittens that mama cat brought to live under our porch. We never intended on keeping them but they wormed their way into our hearts. Soon after they BOTH went into heat and started peeing all over. The bathmat, towels and throw rugs were their favorite spots. Spaying helped for the most part but then we had to deal with the smell. I find Simple Solution works the best, better than Natures Miracle.

Now one of them has decided she must pee on the dining room table any time I put a table cloth on it. Ive tried soaking it in SImple Solution but I'm told that the cats will forever smell the scent of their urine no matter what and return to that spot to pee.

Make sure there is nothing medically wrong with kitty too. Often times a urinary infection will cause them to pee outside the litter box...

You may have to rip up the carpet and carpet pad to eliminate the problem. If you can use Simple SOlution to get the smell out so YOU cant smell it anymore, you'll have to try the behaviour modification technique mentioned above with the coins. We are trying to use a squirt gun every time the cat jumps on the table to deter her from even getting on the table. Works when we are around but she still jumps up there when we're not home.

We also have partial dirt floor in our cellar that the cats think is an extension to their litter box and keep peeing in the dirt. The only solution I've come up with for that is to have it cemented ($$$$).

Good luck!

About the cat pee. Maybe your cat has a urine infection if she is all of the sudden not going in her box. (that is what happen to my cat) or another thing, if you have a throw rug in the area she is peeing in, maybe it is the rug. some throw rugs have a weird smelling back peice to them, and cats tend to pee on it, cause they dont like it.
maybe change the throw rug if you happen to have one where she is peeing.

Ugh - join the cat pee club! Our cats are "out-peeing" each other - we had them separated for 6 months (lovely ply-wood middle-of-the-dining-room-wall nonsense) Hmph. We finally got rid of the carpet and are re-doing our hard wood floors, we have tried "feliway" which is CRAP and not worth the expense, Nature's Miracle is "okay" but not perfect and other than that we scrub VENTS (because they like spraying our heating vents - GREAT!) and curse a lot. Our vents are now covered with wax paper which is much easier to take care of than vents - and they haven't peed on them since. However....there was cat pee ON THE STOVE (again) last night after we were gone for 2 days. F'ers. But we're not getting rid of them either.

Oh and Beavis is on a calmative which the Vet thought would help. I'm not so sure that it's helping....

Well, you go on maternity leave early, but then you'd regret that later....if you ever go back to working afterwards, that is.

cat- uhhh, get a litterbox?? just a thought! does stink as in smell, try some tomatoe juice, doesn't that get rid of skunk smells?? then instead of urine on your rug, you will have tomato juice stains...sorry, i am not helpful at all!!

Regarding Randomness #3:
Start by taking Kitty to the vet - perhaps this is medical, rather than behavioral.
Ultimately, I had to throw away the rug that my cat targeted and scrub the vinyl underneath with some stinky green concentrated cleaner (yeah, you might end up removing carpet and padding). Then, a new litter box and twice-a-day scooping up of clumping litter (sorry, hubby!) solved the problem. Cats thrive on routine - try to let Kitty know you still have some time to share.
Here's a short-term suggestion that *might* just invite Kitty to invent new targets, but consider taping aluminum foil over popular pee spots - most cats hate how foil feels and sounds when they walk across it.

On #7, I could write you a note. I have very motherly handwriting and can get you excused from anything.

Congrats on making it to full term! :)
I think that you can actually ask your dr. for a note excusing you from work for the remainder of your pregnancy. I'm not sure how it works out there, but here in CA you are legally able to take 6 weeks prior to the birth off with disability pay with a dr's note. Just tell your dr that you are very tired and work is too strenuous and that you need "bed rest" for the next 3 weeks. I think almost any dr will do that for you.

For the Cat Pee...

I'm sure all of the stuff others have listed will work, but I am far to cheap to spend money on cats who are doing bad things to my house. I feel that I am providing them with shelter- the least they can do is hold it until they make it to the litterbox... ANYWAY.

For the smell: White Vinegar takes it out. You might want to color test somewhere first, but that does work.

For the behavior (and your sense of justice): Make up a Bad Kitty Bottle, which is a squirt bottle filled with water. Every time they get near that area, let 'em have it. Works for counters and everything else you want them to leave alone. They hate it and run, and you feel SO much better, with no lasting harm done. Kitty target practice is BIG entertainment at our house.

Good Luck!!!

If the paint is wet, keep it wet. Lay wet towels and then a trash bag on top of it. Then get a steam cleaner and suck it up (for a large spill make sure a professional is at the other end of said cleaner.)

As for the pee, the other comments are correct. Loose the carpet, loose the pad. If it's a certain area, you can just cut those out, scrub them well, and replace them with a chuck from a closet. There is no real effective way to get a cat to stop. Good luck!

I've been fighting this battle for years! Best part is that since we moved into this new apartment (where they check when you move out with a black light for cat pee), one of our cats has chosen THE BABY'S ROOM as the pee spot of choice. I've also tried every enzyme cleaner on the market and no matter what their claims, it still stinks like cat pee, PLUS the stupid enzyme cleaner. What I did in the my condo was just remove the carpet, but I owned that place, can't do that here.

Good luck! Also good luck with the baby! I'm due in October.

Beth, tell you're doctor that you're falling asleep at your desk because you're so worn out. He might suggest bed rest...If you tell him that you're scared to drive.

Carpet + Paint = Scissors after it dries. If it's not too deep, then you won't notice it.

Cat -
Pretty good info.

Glad you're not in a cave!

Also read the tips at the bottom of that page. THey say to never use cleaning products to clean up cat urine because the cat's urine is mostly amonia...YUM!

1. Damn. Missed a good 2nd ammendment post again. The right to bear arms and shoot troublemakers is guaranteed under the Bill of Rights. There's a time to talk and a time to shoot, and the man with a gun has a distinct advantage over the man with a clever turn of phrase. Or some such nonsense.

2. Scissors

3. See #2.

4. Makes me wonder what bad thing has happened to Bad Penguin lately.

5. The sweet preggo belly makes up for any unsmokingness that might befall your ass.

6. *open Adobe Photoshop*

7. Please see Lima Bean for a possible solution. :)

Weird. Last week I realized that it was right after getting off the phone with Chris that I had my last conversation with my uncle... not that I can blame you for his death, but the memories are inextricably linked. Whoooooooooo... glad you broke the curse.

And, my solution for pee-less carpet would be filed under Cat, get rid of. I don't think that's one of your options.

I'm one of those bad humans that would find a new, loving home for the cat. I've done it before and would do it again if an animal were threatening to 'ruin a home'... A very wise French lady once told me that the cheapest and easiest solution to stop cats peeing in an unwanted spot was to douse it with black pepper (the spot, not the cat). I haven't tried it, but it might be worth a go.

As soon as you figure out the cat pee thing, let me know so i can get the stupid poodle piss smell out of my carpet, damn little dog.

As for the paint, have you tried Spot Shot? I know it works really well on paint that hasn't dried, but I haven't tried it on old paint.

Getting out of work could be easy, but if you plan on going back, that's three weeks of FMLA you used up, and it's really much nicer to spend the time with the baby.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
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