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One month

Yeah, I know everybody does the letter to the kid thing. Ask me if I care. This is the only way I will write this stuff down, so I don't care if I am copying half the internet by doing it.

Mia Bean,

You are one month old today, and changing so fast it makes my head spin. For the first couple of weeks, you were pretty easy. You slept all the time. I woke you up every two hours to change and feed you and then you went back to sleep. Those days are over. For the last week, you have been crazy glued to my boobs. In fact, as I type this you are asleep on my lap with your left hand holding tightly to my breast to be sure I don't try to take it away. For the last week, you have spent a lot of time eating and a lot of time yelling. Yesterday you cried your first actual tears and I think my heart exploded into a million pieces. You hate the pacifier, but we keep trying and once in a while it makes you happy for a few minutes and my sore boobs get a break.

We went to the doctor last Thursday, because I cleverly allowed you to fall on your face, and you weighed 9 pounds and 5 ounces. You are starting to get those wonderful chubby baby rolls. First it was your thighs and knees, then your arms, and now you have dimples on your elbows and chubby cheeks and even chubby little fingers on your perfectly bite-sized hands. You like it when I blow raspberries on your round little belly and you wiggle all over when I do it.

You are very strong. You could turn your head from side to side on your stomach the day we brought you home from the hospital and could also roll from your back to your side - always your left side, never the right. When we put you on your stomach, your push your legs back and forth like you are crawling, and if your arms would cooperate I think you could do it. If you could figure out how to get one arm under your body, I think you could also roll over onto your back. You love to kick your legs and fling your arms around, and best of luck to anyone who gets in your way because you pack a wallop. We swaddle you to sleep so you don't wake yourself up hitting yourself in the face, and the first thing you do when I unwrap you is throw your arms over your head and stretch.

You like to sleep on my chest, or especially on your father's chest. You hate to be put down. You do sleep in your bassinet at night, but only if I hit the vibrate button at least four times and reach in to rub your head several times an hour.

You make all sorts of noises - little coos and hums and snorts and lately you yell just for fun. Last night you smiled and made a sound like you were laughing. You are smiling more and more, watching more and more, and sometimes even acting like you recognize me. When you are eating, you make little humming noises and it sounds like you are singing to yourself.

Last night you slept 5 straight hours. When I woke up at 4 and realized you had been asleep since 11 I was thrilled since that was by far the longest stretch of sleep I have had in a month, but also a little sad because this time is moving so quickly. You already look so big to me compared to the day I met you, and you are a slightly different person every day. I marvel at every change and look forward to every new thing, but it makes me really see how quickly your baby-ness will pass.

I am learning from you. I am learning how to sit still, how to do nothing, how to spend two hours smelling your head instead of worrying about the dishes or the laundry or a job. I am very bad at sitting still, but you are very good at it. I am learning to be at least a bit more patient, at least a bit more flexible, to just go with the pace of life and not get upset if that doesn't match my plans or my schedule. Learning to be your mother is very, very hard, but I hope in the end we will both be the better for it.

Love you,
Mom

Comments (29)

These letters are beautiful and I wish that I had done it (pen to paper, since I didn't even know what a computer was 11 years ago when my first was born) for my babies.

Oh, and hey. I think you just admitted that it was YOU and not Chris who causes the Bean to hit the floor. That wasn't the story we heard last week. ;)

'caused'. I meant 'caused' not 'causes'.

Oh, the humming noises - I think I miss those the most.

Awwww Beth, what a sweet letter to Mia. :-) Mia sounds so much like my little dude and you are quite clearly doing an awesome job as a mother. Well done. :-)

And well done on the breastfeeding too. I'd say that is the toughest part of the whole mothering thing for me. My baby started out at 9lb 10oz and will hopefully be back to that weight this week from my efforts to pack him full of milk. Ouch!

so cute. i love reading my mom's journal from when she was pregnant with me and from shortly after i was born. definitely amazing stuff.

Beth, I think you are doing a fabulous job. I was really neurotic with my first one, and got the Super Mommy virus where I had to turn into June Cleaver overnight (which is not my style at all).

Anyway, all that to say that you sound relaxed and happy, and I'm so proud of you for sitting in the chair and doing nothing. Doing nothing is a big accomplishment. Yay for Beth!!!

I love it when moms post monthly letters to their babies. It's proof that the sleeplessness, the pain, the stress, and the over-all worry of having a baby is 100% worth it. :) Thanks for sharing!

I am crying at work. Thanks a lot. ;)

Awww, that is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it!

This is a beautiful letter. Mia will cherish this letter for as long as she lives.

I don't care if "everyone" does it--yours is beautiful. If it works, it works, and the letter writing thing is such a great gift to Mia.

Hmmm. . .makes me wonder if I should start writing to my canine child . . .

In terms of the learning curve, you are on the way up already! Well done for getting over the pain, and I hope you and your daughter have happy times of growing up together.

You write so beautifully :)

You're making me want a baby of my own, though... :D

Smiling already?!? That's so exciting... and so sad! :)

Beth, thank you for sharing the Mia-journey with all of us. I love checking in and hearing the littlest stories and funny observations. I can tell you are already a phenomenal mom.

Wow - Mia is developing so fast! Sierra didn't smile until 8 weeks - maybe my Dr was right, she'd do everything a month behind :( That is such a beautiful letter - thanks for sharing it. I'm already looking forward to next month's letter!

This was simply wonderful.

You write away girl. These letters are important, and like many who do these letters, I've been better about getting it all down since doing the whole blog thing than I was before. And that is what is important. Getting it all recorded for her.

I write these letters to my son on my blog and he's seven. I print them out and save them in a box for him, to only appreciate when he's a father someday.

BTW. The coos and noise she makes. Of all the things I wish I had done, was record that sound. My son would make the most precious sounds when he breast feed, or when he was falling asleep on my chest. Record those sounds you'll be so glad you did, when you're a old woman.

BTW you make a beautiful family.

What a beautiful letter, and thoughts you share with your daughter. (and all of us too!) You're right, you know. Before you know it Mia will be all grown. It seems like the other day my Mandy was born and now she is a woman of 28. It goes by fast, so enjoy!

That was beautiful. I wish I had done those for my boys when they were wee.

Thank you for bringing back so many memories to vividly to the foreground.

I write my boys a letter every year on their birthdays, and stash them away in a box. Keep writing to her. It's wonderful!

Isn't it crazy what you can do that you never thought you would be able to? I love that part!!!

Mia will cherish this letter. I think you have just inspired me to set pen to paper again for my Little Miss.

Nynke

OK, my oldest daughter leaves for college in a week, and honestly, I have been holding up pretty well but reading that? That just undid me. When people tell you to treasure it because it goes fast...they're not lying.

That was so sweet.

This is such a beautiful letter! I am positive Mia will love it. It doesn't matter if lots of moms do it, every letter is so special and still brings tears to my eyes.

Beth, that was so beautiful. This is something that Mia will treasure ALWAYS when she is an adult - but let's not think about that yet!

And I am also quite proud of you for learning to sit still. YAY BETH!

these letters are soo cool, i feel like i get to know mia too, which is so neat!

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So the Fish Said...

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