So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

Meet the Fish

I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

World's Most Beautiful Child


World's Most Handsome Child


Other Important Things

Clive Owen

Clive Owen
Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend

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so the fish said...
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OBX, baby!

We're headed beachward for a few days. Chris and I fit all our stuff into a duffle bag, but we still may need to take two cars to accomodate all the baby gear. We will probably be hitting the road around 4 AM or so in the hope that Mia will sleep most of the way down, rather than screaming. Anyway, if you don't hear from me, that's why.

In other news, Mia had her two month checkup today. She's 13 lbs. 5 ounces and off the chart for height, which is interesting as Chris and I are not tall people. The pediatrician said she's like a four month old. Guess I should stop worrying that she isn't getting enough to eat. She got three shots in her poor chubby little thighs and we both cried, but she screamed louder than I did.

Um, that's all. Check out the hubby for beach pictures - he's one of those crazy people who posts while on vacation.


You want to sell me something? All you have to do is print "Reduces the risk of SIDS" on the packaging in a nice soothing, authoritative font and I will buy it. It isn't even a conscious thing, I see that phrase and whatever it is jumps into my cart. Sleep positioner to prevent a child who is incapable of turning herself over from turning herself over? Yes please. Special swaddling blanket? I have three. Separate monitor to go under the crib mattess and sound an alarm if there is no movement for five seconds? Ok, my mom bought that one, but I'm the one who hooked it up. However, since there is no chance that Mia will actually sleep in her crib anytime soon it isn't getting much use.

What I want to know is, how long does it take before I can stop checking to make sure she is breathing every 20 minutes? Last night, after about the 40th time I sat up in bed to cram my head into her bassinet and listen for breathing I figured out the one thing I don't have that I really need. An old-timey ear trumpet. If I had one of those, I could at least keep my head on the pillow. Then I had the phase "old-timey ear trumpet" running around my head for the rest of the night, during which I did not sleep because my usually fabulous sleeper just was not in the mood last night.

Anyway, I have a question. Mia is nine and a half weeks old, and in the last nine and a half weeks I have prepared dinner precisely one time. If Chris weren't cooking we would be surviving entirely on food that could be delivered with no preparation required. Now, I know it must be possible to have a child and still fix actual food, but what I want to know is, how in the hell do you do that?

And finally, isn't she lovely in purple?

A little strange

I went to get a pedicure this morning because a) mommy needed a little break, and b) we are going to the beach next week and I'm pretty sure it is a felony to go to the beach without a pedicure. In a rather strange turn of events, the pedicure lady donned latex gloves before beginning the pedicure. Now, I would not like to have my job involve touching lots of feet and I freely admit that my personal hygiene has been a little sporadic lately, but can I possibly be so grungy that touching me requires the wearing of protective clothing? I mean really, I changed into a clean shirt before I went and everything.

What really has me confused, is that halfway through the pedicure she removed the gloves. I am totally at a loss for the point.

Two Months

Mia Bean,

I hardly know where to begin. You have grown and changed so much in the last month that I don't think I can possibly describe it all. About a week ago I looked at you napping in your bassinet and was amazed by how quickly the baby-ness is leaving your face. You looked in that moment like a child.

You hate being on your tummy, you fuss and cry every time. You hate it so much that earlier today when I put you on your tummy you rolled right over onto your back. You were nice enough to do it again when I brought your father in to watch, but when I broke out the video camera you decided you had had enough and just screamed until I rescued you. I think this makes you a roll-over prodigy.

If how you are now is any indication of how you will be as a toddler, I am terrified. You have an amazing attention span and a very strong will. If wishing made it so you would be running all over the house already. You have started to fixate on things and lean in their direction or at times fling your entire body towards the object of your desire. I have learned to hold you very tightly. One of your favorite things to do is to lie in your crib and watch your Winnie the Pooh mobile. Or rather, part of the mobile. You love Eeyore. You watch him and only him, moving your eyes and your head to follow him through the entire circle. It has been that way since the very first time you noticed the mobile about three weeks ago.

You sleep through the night. I'm going to say that again as it bears repeating. You sleep through the night. Sometimes six hours, sometimes seven or eight. I have to confess that I miss being up with you in the small hours of the morning and some nights as I put you to bed I hope you will be hungry and wake me up before morning. Last night you went to bed very early and woke up hungry at about 1:30. It has been so long since we had a 2 AM feeding that it took me a while to figure out what you wanted and I tried for a few minutes to soothe you back to sleep by rubbing your head. After you ate, you fell asleep with your warm little head on my chest and your sticky-outy hair tickling my nose. I miss that too lately. Usually when you finish eating you are too excited to move on to the next thing to sit for long with your head on my chest and your soft breath on my neck. As I sat there last night, I kept thinking please, please let me always remember this moment.

You have been doing much less screaming lately. For a while there, you screamed non-stop from 5:00 to 10:00 every night and your father and I ran around like crazy people trying to calm you down. You still have crying fits, but much less often. I think you are getting more used to being in the world and we are getting better at keeping you happy. The best way to avoid an all-night crying jag is to get you to nap, but you despise napping. You fight it as hard as you can, and a week ago you were awake for a marathon 12 hours (and in a nasty mood almost the entire time). You do sleep in your stroller and in the car, so some days we walk for miles and other days we drive until we see cows and mountains.

You stop crying when I blow raspberries on your stomach or neck or chubby thighs. This lead to the moment a few days ago when your father and I were marching you around the kitchen with me blowing raspberries on your neck to the tune of "76 Trombones" and your father keeping time with armpit farts. A screaming baby causes you to do some pretty strange things. Your father cannot wait until you are old enough for him to teach you how to armpit fart. I can't do it myself and that has always been a huge disappointment to him.

You have forced me to put my money where my mouth is. At right about 4 weeks old you started developing baby acne on your face it is still going strong. I was very upset when it started because I thought it somehow diminished my perfect baby. I wanted to avoid taking pictures or having people come meet you because of it. I'm over it, and I hope I will learn from it to remember that you are always my perfect baby, no matter what, and that we do not care about such things in this family. You are beautiful, even covered in spots.

You are not reaching for things yet, even though you will lunge at them. So far, your hands are only good for sucking and pulling hair. You will pull your own hair until it hurts and makes you scream, but you haven't yet figured out how to let go. You love to kick and coo and yell and dance with someone moving your arms and legs. You love to eat, and I am starting to love feeding you. You love to have people smile at you, and respond with huge, drooly, bubbly, toothless grins and noises that sound almost like laughing.

Last week, you spent 90 minutes with your grandparents while your father and I went out alone for the first time since you were born. It made me realize that our goal as your parents is to send you into the world as your own person - in small ways right now but eventually as an adult. My job is to make sure you are loved and adored and secure, that you learn how to be the person you want to be, and that I allow the person you want to be to be different from the person I want you to be. You are your own, Mia. Thank you for sharing yourself with me.


How the cats are spending the afternoon

Pixel in the bouncy seat

Callie in the Pack and Play


I have stretch marks on my boobs.

Fucking hell.


On Saturday, Chris and I decided to do something totally daring and unusual. We went out to dinner.

I? Actually showered and did my hair. I plucked my eyebrows. (Now people, we're all friends here, right? You could have mentioned my eyebrows. It was a little frightening.) I put on actual makeup. I dressed Mia in her cute pink flowered outfit with Winnie the Pooh on the leg and dressed myself in my only nice skirt that fits over my pregnancy-expanded ass. Then I changed both of us after Mia produced a particularly impressive amount of spit-up as we were heading out the door. It was a big moment.

We dropped Mia off with my parents, who were so thrilled to be babysitting they could barely speak, and headed off to our favorite Indian restaurant where we ate too much, as always, and talked mostly about Mia. But it was an intelligent conversation about Mia, not our usual discussions of what her poop looks like and how long she has napped. (Have I mentioned that I am extremely anal-retentive and therefore am still keeping a nursing and diaper log? I plan to save it and show it to the first inappropriate boyfriend Mia brings home as a teenager.)

All in all, we managed to stay away from the baby for about 90 minutes and I only called my parents once to check on her. I missed her terribly, but it was very nice to have some time alone with Chris. I know our relationship will never be quite the same as it was before the baby, but so far I like the way we are changing.

On another note, Mia was a dream today. She took an actual nap and was in bed for (I hope) the night at 8:30. Thank you to everyone who left such nice comments on my last post, it was much appreciated. If you were here, we would totally make out all the time. Or at least when Mia was napping.

Tell me I'm pretty, too

You know what I hate? When people write posts that say "oh, I'm so awful" just so that people will say "no you aren't you are fabulous and thin." But that is exactly what I am about to do. You are welcome to skip the following sad sack, poor me, miserable whining and just skip straight to my comments and tell me I am wonderful, and you are also welcome to skip this post entirely and come back tomorrow when I will tell you about how Chris and I went out! To dinner! Without the baby! (Don't worry, Mia was well cared for by my parents during the 90 minutes we managed to stay away. We didn't just leave her in the Pack and Play to fend for herself.)

Anyway, on with the whining. Yesterday, Mia was cranky. Then she refused to nap. Then she refused to go to bed for the night. By the time I finally got her to sleep at 10:30 she had been pretty much awake for 12 hours and was generating what I am confident was the crankiest cranky the world has ever seen. During most of the 12 hours the child refused to sleep it was the Mommy Show. I held her, I walked, I danced, I bounced, I sang, I made faces, I blew raspberries, etc., and so forth, and on and on. She, more often than not, screamed. Also, she spit up a lot so I also changed both our clothes at least five times. By the end of the day, I was worn out.

Ok, to be honest, I was worn out well before the end of the day. Actually, I was over it. The low point came when I put Mia in her crib to watch her mobile for a while. Mia loves her mobile. Ordinarily, I think she would be perfectly happy if I wound that thing up for her eight hours a day, but yesterday I knew that at best it would be a few minutes of diversion before she started screaming again. I found myself sitting on the floor next to her crib crying because I just didn't want to have to pick her up again. She did scream, of course, and I picked her up, of course, and resumed my usual bouncing, dancing path around the upstairs, but at that moment all I wanted was to have 30 minutes - or even 5 - where I didn't have to be the mommy.

I feel like I should be able to handle this. I'm not working, the cleaning lady does most of the housework, the groceries are delivered, I don't even cook dinner. All I have to do is feed, clean, dress and entertain an infant. And do eight loads of laundry a day. Optionally, I try to eat both breakfast and lunch and get the dishes into the dishwasher before Chris gets home from work. That's it. I should be able to do that. Yesterday, I couldn't do it. Or at least, I couldn't do it well.

I know there will be days like that, I do. But in the middle of a day like that, it is hard to remember that it is just one of those days.

The hair

Mia's hair sticks up. Well, not entirely. The sides and back lie flat, it is just the top that defies gravity, and it doesn't stick straight up but instead up diagonally giving her a rakish little mohawk. When I was a baby, my hair stuck up all over my head and my mother has said that she was obsessed with slicking it down with baby oil. I think she is secretly appalled that I don't slick down Mia's hair. A number of people have suggested, kindly and otherwise, that I should do something about it. I won't. Mia is going to be a mohawk baby.

You see, I consider it one of my greatest responsibilities as a parent, especially as the mother of a daughter, to teach Mia to be happy with herself. To teach her to value her uniqueness rather than valuing conformity. To teach her that while it is nice to be beautiful it is far more important to be smart and kind and strong. To help her always believe that she is beautiful just as she is and that her hair does not matter. Reveling in her mohawk is the first lesson.

Also, I love her crazy, sticky-outy hair. I love the little birthmark on her forehead and that one thigh is slightly chubbier than the other and that she still has the furriest earlobes you have ever seen. I love it as much as her ideally formed nose and darling buddha belly and perfect little toes. I admire her quirks, and will work hard to teach her to do the same. She's fabulous just as she is.

Strong, too

More answers

Here we go again with the answers. It may take me a month to finish at this rate.

Zoe asked:

Describe the strangest holiday/trip you've ever been on.
The trip itself wasn't strange, but a couple of years ago Chris and I spent a weekend in Baltimore, just to get away for a while. We didn't have a whole lot of extra money at the time, so I found us a hotel at a pretty good bargain. For good reason. The room was huge, much larger than most hotel rooms, but it had to be to accomodate the shower in the corner of the room. No, not in the bathroom, just sitting in the corner of the room in full view of the bed. You could either watch tv or watch someone shower. I think Chris nearly left me over that, or at least nearly left Baltimore, but we ended up having a pretty good time.

Tell us the best gift you've ever received.
Can I be really corny here and say Mia? No? Tough, that's what I'm going with.

What advice would you give to a newly pregnant woman about pregnancy/motherhood?
You know those little side-snap t-shirts? Buy twice as many as you think you need, and then go get about 6 more. Same thing with burp cloths. You will use more diapers in the first week than you can possibly imagine, so stock up on those too.

Shannon asked:

Thongs or briefs?

When's the last time you picked your nose?
Ummm... right.... now!

What's your sign?

Amy asked:

If clive where suddenly to drop off the face of the earth or something (not that he would) who is the next runner up for pretend celebrity boyfriend?
This is tough, because I am still deeply committed to Clive, but if there were no Clive I would say maybe Adrien Brody. He's not really my type, with the pointy face and woman's name and all, but he is very tall and a little exotic looking and strangely appealing for some reason.

If you came home and found that pet duck in your bathtub that you have always wanted- what would you name it?

What is the oddest thing in your purse?
I have nothing odd in my purse. Now I feel like a loser.

angela marie asked:

You are an animal lover, I know. If you had been in that horrible situation down south and ordered to evacuate...without your pets...would you do it? Leave them behind to possibly drown or stay in a 'who knows what's gonna happen' situation with your lovely husband and beautiful daughter?
What a vulgar question! I would do absolutely everything I could to get out of Dodge with the cats yowling in the back of the car. Really, everything. Heaven and Earth? Consider them moved. However, if forced to make the choice between staying with the cats or leaving them there to save my daughter, I (god, I'm crying just writing this) would leave the cats and be miserable for the rest of my life. Mia and Chris are first though, absolutely first.

becky asked:

Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?
Ha. What comes after introvert? Ultra introvert? Super introvert? Actually turning inside out? That's me.

Do any of your family members (besides Chris) know about your blog?
Not that I know of. Um... if you are related to me, say hi, won't you? I would not be blissfully happy if my family read my blog, but I try to write every post as though my mother was going to read it because it usually (but not always) keeps me from saying things I shouldn't.

Before you found out Mia was going to be a girl, what (if any) potential boys names did you guys toss around?
Boy names? We couldn't agree on a single one. (Because my husband is totally stubborn and also has terrible taste in boy names.)

Shannon asked:

What did youwant to be as a little girl?
An astronomer.

When did you know Hubby was the one?
Pretty much when I picked him up in the bathroom.

Why did you go/not go to college?
I went because it was expected of me. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did, but not going to college wasn't an option.

Manda asked:

What is your favorite book?
Tough one. If forced to choose, I would say The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell.

Have you done any knitting at all lately? pre- or post-Mia?
I finished an afghan for Mia about a week before she was born. I started as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Nothing since then, I think it will be a while.

What is your favorite color?

mooalex asked:

What is the one thing that Chris does or says to you that INSTANTLY gets you "in the mood?"
When he opens a brand new something, like Gatorade for example, which I don't drink, just because there is a brand new one available and totally ignoring the half-empty whatever it is in the fridge, which then sits there until I clean out the fridge and throw it away. That sure gets in in the mood... the bad mood!

What? That wasn't "the mood" you meant? Tough.

What is the one thing that YOU do that starts the launch sequence, if you know what I mean?
When I'm clearly angry and Chris asks me what's wrong and I say "nothing." Launches him right through the roof - guaranteed to piss him off.

Favorite sex toy? (and don't say Johnny Depp like Ms. Q did... haha)
I don't have a favorite, and I will leave to your imagination whether that is due to too much or too little to choose from.

supine asked:

What is it about Clive Own that makes him your chosen celebrity boyfriend? And did Closer make you love him less or more?
Since I sorta already answered this, I will just add that the deciding factor has to be the chin dimple. Doesn't it just beg to be licked? Closer made me love him more. Yes, he was evil and dirty and mean, but also so, so hot.

Hey! I'm done! Thank goodness for naptime.

My girls

Is this the cutest thing ever, or is this the cutest thing ever?

More of everything you never wanted to know

You all should feel really special. The baby is sleeping and rather than doing the very big and important things I have to do, like laundry, I am sitting down to answer more questions. See, special.

Gypsy asked:

What is your biggest Dream for YOU?
Happiness. I don't know what form it will take in the future, but it is all I really want. After that, everything else you can work on.

What is your biggest Fear for YOU?
I guess that I will never be able to relax. I'm pretty high-strung and high-maintenance.

Do you let your fear over ride your dreams?
No, I just lose lots of sleep over it.

Anita asked:

Why is it that when you talk about your lack of sleep, I do not feel sorry for you? (My reason? Mia is just too cute)
Maybe because I'm actually getting enough sleep? Not at night, necessarily, but most days I can get a nap if Mia kept me up at night, although she likes to sleep at night so it usually isn't too bad.

Have you ever been to Australia? If not, where have you travelled and why did you choose that destination?
Nope, never been to Australia. I would love to go, but am not sure I could handle that much time on a plane. I went to Canada and Mexico as a kid and to France a couple of years ago. We chose France because someone else was footing the bill and that is where they offered to take us. Loved it.

How on earth does one human have such a bump one week and no bump the next? I seem to have a bump all the time!
Like I said in my last post, I exercised a lot while I was pregnant (and before for that matter), but mainly it was pure dumb luck. I looked like I had never been pregnant by about two weeks after Mia was born. (There's still a bump there, but I suppose I have to admit it is pretty much my pre-pregnancy flab so I can't blame it on the baby.

Kate asked:

You used to talk about the gym a lot. What is your strangest gym story?
Oh I don't know - most of the gym stuff seems strange when it happens but I never remember it afterwards. I guess the one that sticks in my mind is the stinky guy who always got on the machine next to me for weeks. I know lots of people are stinky in the gym, but this guy stank to high heaven walking in the door and it only got worse as he started to sweat.

(The reverse of another question) How do the cats feel about Mia?
At first, Pixel would run to her when she cried to see what was wrong. Now, they will tough it out a few minutes when she cries but after that they leave the room in a huff. They have both sniffed her, but at most I would say they are mildly curious. I'm sure they will develop stronger feelings for Mia once she is able to pull their tales.

What surprises you most about how your husband handles fathering?
I knew Chris would be a great father, caring, involved, totally smitten. The only thing I wasn't sure of was how he would be with the baby since I don't know that he'd ever held a baby before Mia - he certainly hasn't since I've known him. He's great with her though, a natural.

Laurie asked:

How long have you guys been together?
January will be 13 years, our sixth wedding anniversary is in October.

When / How did you decide you were ready to be parents?
I'm not sure we have decided that. Maybe by the time she leaves for college, we'll be ready.

What scares you the most about parenthood?
Everything. Mainly screwing it up. I really don't want to screw it up.

erin asked:

If you could choose three women you know personally (other than yourself) and three women you don't know personally to serve as positive role models for Mia, who would they be and why would you choose them?
Women I know: my mother, Chris's mother and my maternal grandmother. They are all strong, smart, independent women who I admire greatly.

Women I don't know: I have an answer to this, but I'm not going to give it. I want Mia to choose her own role models and I accept that she may have entirely different criteria than I do. I think as long as she sees admirable qualities to mirror or achievements to which to aspire whomever she chooses will be appropriate.

What song did you guys dance to at your wedding and would you choose the same song again if you were getting married today?
"Wonderful World," and absolutely.

So, what did the fish say?
"So what do you want me to do, drink a beer?"

dazeymae asked:

Please list the criteria for the pretend celebrity boyfriend....I can't believe it's all pretty face, you're not that shallow.
Gorgeous, older than me, not too mainstream, not a rock star, not Jude Law, a little bad, mad sexy, fabulous accent a bonus but not required. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not looking for a pretend celebrity boyfriend to have long, meaningful conversations.

The body changes with childbirth, it's never the same. What are you most unhappy about.
Well, my body is pretty much like it was. My hips are a little wider and I still have a bit more belly than I started with, but that's about it. I do have a wicked scar, but I don't mind it.

What is your personal goal for this year---unrelated to the goddess we refer to as Mia. Personal goal.
To survive? Ok, really to be more patient and more tolerant. I am neither of those things but want to be both as a mother.

You ask, I answer. Eventually.

Ok, I know I told you all to ask me questions, but did you have to ask so many questions? I mean come on, I have an infant to schlep around 16 hours a day here. Anyway, here's the first round and I'll keep working on the rest.

Emily asked:

How did you determine the URL, "So The Fish Said"?
It's the set up to an inside joke from college. Want the punchline? I'll get to that in response to a later question. However, the punchline won't help much or even make sense, which is the real beauty of an inside joke.

Why do you want a duck for the bathtub?
I like ducks, what with the feathery cuteness and wiggly butts and endearing little quacking sounds, and if you are going to have a pet duck the logical place to keep it is in the bathtub.

How did you decide to paint the upstairs bathroom green and opt for non-pink tones for Mia's room?
We went with non-pink for Mia's room as a meaningless rebellion against gender stereotypes and also I don't care all that much for pink. We painted the bathroom green because we had it left over from Mia's room.

Ava asked:

How did you manage to stay so thin during your whole pregnancy?
I gained 34 pounds, which doesn't seem so thin to me now that I have to lose it. I do think I carried it rather well though, if I do say so myself. Partly I was lucky in that almost all of the weight was in my belly and I never had problems with the swelling that so many women suffer. Also though, I worked really hard at it. I was in good shape when I got pregnant and went to the gym 4 times a week nearly every week for the entire pregnancy.

Did you quit your job already?

Do you plan on getting a job later on?
Yes, but I don't know when. My goal right now is to be home or work very part-time for the first year, but we are only 7 weeks into this so the plans may change.

Sari asked:

Why do you blog?
The honest answer? Probably because my husband does and I don't like to be left out.

How do you decide what's too personal to write about?
Well, first off I don't write about my marriage. (I do write about my husband, but that's not the same thing.) I would never discuss the details of my marriage with anyone without Chris's expess permission and I think to do so would be a betrayal of his trust. One of the things I promised was to honor him, and in my mind keeping his confidence is a large part of that.

Second, I don't write about things that hurt me because, well, they hurt me so why air them publicly? I have what I think of as the attention-whore test. A lot of people do write all the intimate and painful details of their lives, and some of them I read and think "wow, this person really has something to say and is so brave to say it." Other times, I read stuff like that and think "wow, what an attention-whore drama queen." If I am ever inspired to write about something serious, I ask myself whether I will be the first type or the second type. So far, the answer is always that I would be the second type, so I don't do it.

Vanilla or chocolate?

Michele asked:

We all know, in one way or other, that having a baby will turn our lives upside down, but what change has surprised you the most?
The puke. I was totally unprepared for all the puke.

How did Chris propose to you? (or did you propose to him?)
Chris proposed to me (although honestly I think I pretty much told him it was time for him to get around to it already - I'm so bossy) by hanging the ring on our Christmas tree and sending me over to look for the new "ornament" he had gotten us.

What's your favorite candy bar?
Snickers. King sized.

~L asked:

Are you still recovering from the surgery? I mean, I had my wisdom teeth out a month ago and sometimes my mouth is still weird. I can't imagine major abdominal surgery.
Nope, I feel great and have pretty much since about a week after the surgery. In fact, for several weeks I had to keep reminding myself that I had just had abdominal surgery so I didn't accidentally go jogging or something. Now, it did hurt, especially getting into and out of bed and when Mia kicked me in my incision (which she does about 83 times a day) but overall it wasn't bad and I was off painkillers by the time I left the hospital. I know this is not a typical result, but I'm not complaining.

Have you ever thought about living outside of the D.C. area? If so, where?
Every once in a while we talk about moving to somewhere with a lower cost of living, but can never agree on where we might go. I have to be on a coast and am biased against the South (for no good reason) so the only places I would really consider would be New England (too expensive and cold), California (too much family), or the Pacific Northwest (too much rain). I really like this area, other than the cost of housing, so unless one of us gets a dream job (in, say, Paris) I think we are staying here.

What is your favorite creative thing to do? Writing, photography, etc.?
Funny question. I used to be all about the creative endeavors - acting, singing, dancing, writing (bad) poetry, but for the last several years I have done very little of any of that. I took up knitting last year and enjoy that, but don't know when I will have time to pick it up again.

lizabetty asked:

Do you plan to have anymore babies?
Maybe. Probably. Yes. Maybe. I have always wanted two or three kids, Chris would be happy to have one. Years ago, we hypothetically decided on two theoretical children, but we are going to see how the first one goes before we jump in for another round. That said, I loved being pregnant and think I would be very sad not to do it again. Not that it's a reason to have another kid, but it is what it is.

Whats your favorite "date" thing to do...ya know, keepin the romance alive stuff.
Let's see.... dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant, home to lie on the couch together, watch a movie and share a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I'm a cheap date.

Name one person who drives you NUTS!!!
There's nobody who can make me as nuts as my husband does sometimes. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

JuJuBee asked:

How long does it take you (ok...PRE-Mia) to get out the door, from shower to car?
About an hour. I don't move very fast in the morning.

Did you get yourself a new congratulatory purse?
No. I was going to say not yet, but I know I probably won't. I have a very hard time spending money on myself and will probably use the money to buy a bunch of clothes for Mia instead.

Are you as scared as I am to raise a girl into a strong woman?
Terrified. Utterly terrified. Luckily though, Mia comes from a long line of strong, independant, mouthy women, so she will be hard pressed to turn out any other way.

Dawnie asked:

Why when I see the phrase "blog or journal" do I read it as "blournal"? Am I on the brink of creating hip new internet slang and don't even realize it?
Yes, because you are the Dawnie and therefore everything you do suddenly inspires a nationwide trend and also fan clubs.

Do you miss your job? Do you wish you'd left sooner?
No, I don't miss it. In hindsight, I should have left about two years ago, but I have learned a lot and gotten some good experience.

What does Mia think about the cats? Does she have an opinion on them yet?
She hasn't paid much attention to them yet, although I did sit her in a chair next to Callie today and she seemed to like feeling her fur. The cats find Mia rather tedious. And loud.

Starfruit asked:

Describe a sexual encounter with Chris - before and after baby.
Before - when Chris and I started dating in college, he had a loft bed left over from living in the dorm and an apartment with very low ceilings. I couldn't say exactly how much clearance there was between the bed and the ceiling, but it was much less than needed to sit up in bed. It was also much less than needed to not bang your butt on the ceiling. Needless to say, the loft didn't last too long.

After - I'm supposed to have sex after the baby? Are you sure? Give me a break here, the OB only cleared me for "normal activities" on Thursday. I'll get right on that though. For foreplay, I can let Chris wash the sour milk vomit off my breasts.

Do you fear the change in your relationship with Chris (losing that connection) as Mia gets older (school, friends)
I'm sure our relationship will change, but I don't fear it. We've been together since I was 18 and Chris was 20, so our relationship has necessarily changed a lot over the years as we both changed. Sometimes we have managed the change gracefully and sometimes not, but I know this will be just another evolution and even if it is one of the difficult ones we will make it.

Do you fear losing Chris' attention now that you're a 'mom'?

wavybrains asked:

How did you know you were "ready" (are we EVER ready?) to start trying for Miss Mia?
Are we ready? I'm still not sure. I think we just decided to do it, ready or not. Then it took us a year to get pregnant, so we had that time to get more used to the idea (although we still freaked when it actually happened).

Have you always been fit?
Pretty much. The least fit I have ever been was probably in college when I lost a bunch of weight for no good reason and looked like I really needed a sandwich already. Other than during and right after college, I have always been pretty active which helps to keep my butt from resting on the backs of my legs.

How clean is your house usually?
Very, but I deserve none of the credit since all I do is pay the cleaning lady.

Mommy-free Meme

I've seen this everywhere, but decided to do it for three reasons:

1. It will force me to post, which I have a hard time getting around to doing lately.

2. It will force me to talk about something other than mommyhood, which I need to do before I lose the ability to speak in complete sentences.

3. Michele did it, and if she did it it must be cool.

So, here it is:

1. Ask me 3 questions. Any 3, no matter how personal, private or random.

2. I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.

And if you wish:

3. In turn, you post this message in your own blog or journal and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.

Oh, hello

The last several days have been truly amazing. Mia, it seems, has finally arrived. All of a sudden, she's awake. Oh boy, is she awake. She looks at me and seems to notice that I am somewhat different than the section of wall she had just been staring at. She watches her mobile turn and coos and wiggles with glee. She smacks her hands out at her favorite toys and makes contact fairly often. She can keep the pacifier in her mouth all on her own for upwards of 30 seconds at a time. She wants to play and kick and yell and gurgle (and scream and cry, oh my) and she definitely does not want to nap because there is too much else to do.

So she's a lot more fun now that she's, you know, interactive, but she's also a lot harder. Instead of only ever wanting to eat or have her diaper changed or sleep, now she has a whole new set of things to want and I have not caught up to figuring out what they are. This leads to days like yesterday when I dumped her on Chris the second he walked in the door and then hid upstairs for two hours because I just couldn't take it anymore.

Hiding from my child made me feel pretty bad, like I wasn't up to this or wasn't trying hard enough, but then I realized two things. First, sometimes I will have to get the hell away from my baby. This doesn't make me a bad mother or a bad person, it makes me sane. Second, even when she screams all day and refuses to eat and refuses to sleep and spits up 12 times and poops all over two outfits and her crib and the changing table, even on those days I am so, so blessed.

Dumb things I did today

- Made a cup of coffee with yesterday's used coffee grounds.

- Drank the entire cup before I realized what I had done, wondering all the while why my coffee tasted like bad tea.

- Packed up all my maternity clothes before checking to see whether my pre-pregnancy pants fit. The first pair of jeans I tried on? Well, let's not discuss how many inches the button was from the button hole when I tried to put them on. The second pair of jeans was much more forgiving and I decided to stop there.

- Left the house with Mia, which required not only wearing a shirt, but wearing it pulled down to cover my entire torso, thereby blocking access to the boobs and pissing off the baby something fierce.