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You want to sell me something? All you have to do is print "Reduces the risk of SIDS" on the packaging in a nice soothing, authoritative font and I will buy it. It isn't even a conscious thing, I see that phrase and whatever it is jumps into my cart. Sleep positioner to prevent a child who is incapable of turning herself over from turning herself over? Yes please. Special swaddling blanket? I have three. Separate monitor to go under the crib mattess and sound an alarm if there is no movement for five seconds? Ok, my mom bought that one, but I'm the one who hooked it up. However, since there is no chance that Mia will actually sleep in her crib anytime soon it isn't getting much use.

What I want to know is, how long does it take before I can stop checking to make sure she is breathing every 20 minutes? Last night, after about the 40th time I sat up in bed to cram my head into her bassinet and listen for breathing I figured out the one thing I don't have that I really need. An old-timey ear trumpet. If I had one of those, I could at least keep my head on the pillow. Then I had the phase "old-timey ear trumpet" running around my head for the rest of the night, during which I did not sleep because my usually fabulous sleeper just was not in the mood last night.

Anyway, I have a question. Mia is nine and a half weeks old, and in the last nine and a half weeks I have prepared dinner precisely one time. If Chris weren't cooking we would be surviving entirely on food that could be delivered with no preparation required. Now, I know it must be possible to have a child and still fix actual food, but what I want to know is, how in the hell do you do that?

And finally, isn't she lovely in purple?

Comments (48)

Never really... I got better at 4 months, then much better at 6 months. I still go in every night to check on both kids before I go to bed, I sleep lightly, and I keep the baby monitor on. That, and I pray. A lot. SIDS is scary, and real, but it is rare. Just keep as much as you can out of the crib, the less in there the better.

I still check on my kids at night, after they go to sleep and when ever i wake up during the night. My youngest is 19 months too.
As for meals - make bulk and freeze what you don't eat(doesn't take much longer then making one meal) so all you have to do is heat and eat when you don't feel like cooking.
And Mia is gorgeous too!

I still check on Princess, although not to the extent that I used to. I lived on take out when Princess was a new baby, I had no husband to cook for me. The mom's that do it all, I admire them a LOT, but seriously I think that secretly they too have take out hee!

I don't know "when" you stop worrying so much. It just kinda happens. You wake up one morning and realize you slept through the night without checking on the child.

Notice I said "child," since it may not be a baby anymore.

As for food? I'm an ace with the basics even when burdened with the kids:

microwave popcorn

cold hot dogs

microwave hot dogs

if I'm feeling really wild:
microwave hot dogs with a slice of cheese


mac and cheese

those little lunch things that are single servings of spaggetios that you, um, microwave

carrot sticks


pop tarts

lunch meat rolled up

lunch meat rolled up with cheese in the middle

bread (sometimes folded over)

pb / j

yeah, I'm like a regular really, really lazy version of Bobby Flay.

Adorable in purple. Funny, her little features are changing, ever so slightly, with each picture you post. I'd want to watch her all the time!

My son is 9 and I still check on him when I wake up at night. Am I not supposed to? ;)

What is this cooking thing you speak of?

Mia is just so adorable!

She was made to wear purple. I still check on LittleJuJu when I go to bed, mostly because he always kicks his covers off and I worry about him freezing during the night. We eat pizza alot lately, which has not helped my figure, but whatever, it's food. I suppose the no-meat thing lessens the choices, but there are lots of quick dinner ideas out there. None of which I know of, but there has to be.

Mia is stunning in purple or any other color for that matter...:0

Oh and my oldest is 10 and I still have those nights when I get up and check on them all 40 times. I think it never goes away.

Absolutely beautiful!

I still check on Ethan every once in awhile. And he's 3 1/2 (years!). Mia is absolutely scrumptuous in purple! You're makin' me want to have another one ---- stop that!

Purple is my favorite color. Would it be wrong for me to say that I'd like to eat Mia up in two big bites?

What's wrong with take-out or delivery? :-)

Beautiful in lavander!

My youngest is 21 and my oldest is 32... I am just now getting to the point where I don't worry about the four of them constantly. As for SIDS... yes it is normal to worry... but the older she gets the less you need to be concerned... other worries take the place of that one! ;o)

she is gorgeous in purple. but better than that, she is simply gorgeous. :)

i hear things get better. but i have no experience in that matter.

if it makes you feel better i'm thinking of hiring someone to come clean my house because with the school work and the thesis and the 2 part time jobs i'm just not getting it done...and i don't think i'm even half as busy as i would be if i had a newborn!

Bry will usually be good in his swing while I cook. He is also getting pretty good at playing on the floor for a little while atleast.

The first response to touch is to breathe: just reach over and touch her. That is why co-sleeping advocates love it so much: Reduces SIDS.

As for cooking, Hell if I know. And my youngest is 7. All I know is that I don't do it. LOL

p.s. Lovely in purple. Still check the kids at (though, not every night anymore) 11, 9, 7.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised if my mother still checks me when I visit.

She is definitely adorable in purple!! I keep looking for the big hair pictures. :)

She looks fabulous in purple.

And why exactly can't Chris continue cooking? Did you not nourish and grow his child for all those months? Are you not spending your days meeting her every need? He can cook for a while.

I still remember waking up and listening for Con's brathing from the bassinet - the hardest night ever - when we moved the bassinet to his room (out from ours). That night I could not just wake up and hear him breathing so I kept getting up to listen at the door. I have since stopped checking so much, but now, I still pause by the door to listen for the heavy breathing on my way to/from our bedroom. She is adorable! I would hold her all the time!!

it'll get easier but it does take time. I remember being freaked out when I slept soundly, and woke up before Nicholas. He was about nine months old at the time. I think it's just a natural protective instinct. I still don't sleep well if he's coughing for instance. (Explains why I haven't slept much the last two days.) But it will get easier.. like everyone has said. (I think exhaustion helps.)

As for cooking, let Chris do it, if he's ok with it. If he needs help, maybe sit down and make menus on paper. etc. etc. Prepared foods work too...

Have a plan! YOu dont need to hold a baby 24/7, in fact, they need to be on the floor a little, kicking and squirming it makes them stronger. The plan is figure out what you are going to have for supper and prep while she is napping or playing. Does she like her swing? My baby loved hers, sit it up in the kitchen and I could pretty much fix supper while she was in there. She would watch me, and sometimes would get sleepy.

look! you have to do what you feel comfortable with, but I co-slept with my muchkins for the 1st 10-12 weeks, just out of pure exhuastion. Put them in their cribs(tummy side) and used a monitor-they were just better sleepers on their belly's.
However my SIL slept in my nephews room on a twin bed, while her Hub(not my brother)slept in his nice king size bed, (never getting night duty)for the 1st year!!! All in attempt to prevents SIDS! ~~~~~I cringe just thinkin about that!~~~

We use that same breathing monitor and everytime I fogret to turn it on I can't sleep, but the sound monitor is so good I can hear him breathing :).
As for the food, I love to use the crockpot, esp while they still take a morning nap. But my husband still complains about lack of food when HE is hungry so
I hand him a takeout menu. :)

I always had luck with the swing/bouncy seat/snugglie/car seat, but it only ever worked if I put on something like, oh, the Sex Pistols, and sang really loud while I cooked/showered/did laundry. Babies seem to like the rock & roll (at least mine did :)!)

Sometimes in order to fix dinner, take a shower, or any number of things you just have to let them cry. Babies have to learn to sooth and entertain themselves for short periods. This gets so much better as they age and can play on their own without needing to be constantly entertained.

Mia is absolutely beautiful in purple. And her hair looks lovely all sticking up (she's just a cute baby).

I have no experience as of yet with the whole when you stop checking baby thing, but I will soon! =)

She is quite lovely in purple! And every other color, too. :)

As for checking to make sure she's still breathing, I'm still compelled to check on my daughter during the night...and she's 32 months old. (I also still give her age in months...but that's another issue altogether.)

So um, where can I buy that activity monitor thingy?

If I'm not blogging I cook dinner while Sierra naps - we just pop it in the microwave later in the evening...

Well, E is now 1 year old and I've made two meals since she's been born.
So yeah... I am not sure how one is expected to prepare meals.

Be patient, Beth. My son just turned 8 and we plan to start fixing actual food sometime before Christmas.

They're called sandwiches.

she would be loverly in any color.
look at those cheeks.....omg
I want to squeeze her.
too cute.
at least YOU don't put her pants on her head.

What a cute little pumpkin!

My oldest is 12 and I still peek in during the night to make sure he's alright!

God bless microwaves, crockpots and take out menus!

I think the dinner thing gets easier when they can use their hands. Suddenly self-entertainment is possible. Helena's always sitting in a swing or a car-seat, munching on toys and watching me cook and sing (mine likes to Rawk, too). Still, I'm getting really good at cooking with one hand.

My daughter is over 16 months and I still sometimes check in on her. I just can't help it! The concern does subside dramatically after 12 months. When she's having a hard time napping -- crying a bit or talking -- and then there's silence, I almost always just look in. (And we still use a monitor.) As for the dinner thing, well, we eat a lot of pasta and Mexican food. Our daughter eats better than us, I think, what with all of organic fruits and vegetables she manages to injest daily!

It's a tough age to be cooking, because usually babies are a little grumpier in the early evening. You'll get the hang of it. For now pull out your crock pot or let Chris cook. Or if you're feeling really ambitious, do all the prep work during nap time (but I recommend you use that as "me" time). As for SIDS, 6 months gets a little better, but I think you worry about it until age 2 when the possibility doesn't exist anymore.

She is gorgeous in purple! Mia is getting cuter everyday. I didn't think that was possible.

I still check on my kids (and my husband and my cat) when they are sleeping, too. It never goes away. I am kind of over the SIDS anxiety, but still, you just want to know they are ok.

Cooking is hard. I mean, I like to watch people on TV cook, but I think it should be a spectator sport and not an actual necessity.

I'm with you on the SIDS (and the swaddling blanket, and the Angel Care monitor...) I try to lay off my own personal SIDS obsession at about 4 months, but at 6 months it's really over.
Dinner? The only thing that works for me is starting in the morning, so that by 5 or 6 pm I've 1)decided what to have, 2) chopped, 3) gotten out pans/ingredients, and 4) put pan to flame. Usually when Brian gets home things are boiling over and kids are crying but, hey, I'm trying. And somedays takeout's the only logical option ;)

Ok I haven't read the other suggestions but you know what helps me. I have a infant carrier. I strap my little munchie in and go to town. she is so comfortable in that thing she just sits there and enjoys the view. now it does make cooking hard as i have to turn to the side to stir pots at the stove or pour something hot and chop from the side as well but hey I have a quiet baby. I do laundry this way as well.

Ok, I love to cook and even toyed with the idea of going to culinary college for a while. I didn't pick up a pot or a pan or a big wooden spoon for at least 3 months post Lady. Give yourself time to get a routine set, then worry about the cooking. In the meantime, LOVE the fact that your hubs can cook.

And on the checking for breathing- Lady snored like a rhino when she was in our room! I am jealous that you have a peaceful sleeper.

Just try to will yourself not to check-eventually you start to trust that she is still there.

OMG! It's sooooo good to know I'm not the only one who is like that!

yeah, just let him cook for the most part, unless of course you miss cooking or are getting ill from his cooking, lol. hmm, maybe fix a big salad while mia is napping? buy all the precut stuff??

it brings out her eyebrows *wink*

she has gorgeous eyes!

I'm not sure when, but you do eventually stop checking.

Until they are in their late teens and, um, learning about the joys of BEER. Then you might have to start again.

In fact, you know that book about "How much I love you" where the creepy lady is climbing into her son's window? Yeah, she's checking to make sure he's not drowning in his own drool 'cause he's too sloshed to turn over and let it soak into the pillow like normal people do.

Parenthood... it's not for sissies!

I am SO loving her in Purple!

The first year I slept with a hand on my son making sure his chest was moving up and down! So how long is tooo obsessive? I am not a good one to ask!

Ah, the secret to cooking...was a crock pot for me...a very slow cooker...lots of stews (you can do veggie)... chilies ... pasta with steamed veggies on top that kind of thing ...

Um, my son is almost 12 and I sometimes check to see if he is still breathing. Of course, sometimes this occurs after I WANT TO WRING HIS NECK FOR BEING A DISGUSTING PRE-TEEN and I worry that the power of my evil thoughts may have hurt him. Face it, motherhood is a trip and a half! You're always connected to your kids, and that's why the little ones survive to torture their own offspring. :)

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