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Oh, hello

The last several days have been truly amazing. Mia, it seems, has finally arrived. All of a sudden, she's awake. Oh boy, is she awake. She looks at me and seems to notice that I am somewhat different than the section of wall she had just been staring at. She watches her mobile turn and coos and wiggles with glee. She smacks her hands out at her favorite toys and makes contact fairly often. She can keep the pacifier in her mouth all on her own for upwards of 30 seconds at a time. She wants to play and kick and yell and gurgle (and scream and cry, oh my) and she definitely does not want to nap because there is too much else to do.

So she's a lot more fun now that she's, you know, interactive, but she's also a lot harder. Instead of only ever wanting to eat or have her diaper changed or sleep, now she has a whole new set of things to want and I have not caught up to figuring out what they are. This leads to days like yesterday when I dumped her on Chris the second he walked in the door and then hid upstairs for two hours because I just couldn't take it anymore.

Hiding from my child made me feel pretty bad, like I wasn't up to this or wasn't trying hard enough, but then I realized two things. First, sometimes I will have to get the hell away from my baby. This doesn't make me a bad mother or a bad person, it makes me sane. Second, even when she screams all day and refuses to eat and refuses to sleep and spits up 12 times and poops all over two outfits and her crib and the changing table, even on those days I am so, so blessed.

Comments (37)

Lurker coming out to comment... I have a four month old, and a three year old, and I totally relate to your blog today. I have "those" kind of days regularly. My first child was an EASY baby, and I'm getting payback for that now with my new little one. But, I am so blessed too, with both my boys; even when I want to rip my hair out... thanks for the reminder!!

I called it a BFZ. Baby-Free Zone.
When I got tired of telling my husband, "I really need a break from being in the house with the baby blah blah blah," I just told him I needed a BFZ.

Needing a break from babyville doesn't make you ungrateful. Even someone who absolutely loves his or her job wouldn't be happy doing it 24/7 without a break! You've got a 24/7 job. Taking a break every once in a while gives you the ability to keep working.

I called it a BFZ. Baby-Free Zone.
When I got tired of telling my husband, "I really need a break from being in the house with the baby blah blah blah," I just told him I needed a BFZ.

Needing a break from babyville doesn't make you ungrateful. Even someone who absolutely loves his or her job wouldn't be happy doing it 24/7 without a break! You've got a 24/7 job. Taking a break every once in a while gives you the ability to keep working.

Congrats! You have already figured out something that takes many mothers a lot longer to understand...that you are required to have you time. You will completely loose your marbles if you don't dump her with her dad/your mom/the babysitter.

Go have martinis with your girlfriends. Regularly. You'll be glad you did it.

Oh yeah, isn't vision fun? Wait til she gets movement down!

Can I borrow Chris so I can hide from my kids too?

Ya they get harder, but more fun. And you do need that time away. As much as I love my daughter, I need time away for her and me.

~Jef

The wild ride of motherhood. Fraught with ambivalence.
Just wait, it gets better and better....

Was beginning to worry a bit about you being all quiet and stuff - :)

I am so impressed that you've figured that out already!

Enjoy Mia's new skills. If you're like me, you will continually be amazed with how quickly she learns new things!

I think the hardest part about it all of it is figuring out what they perceive and don't perceive. It took me days to figure out that sometimes Helena is just bored. A walk around the block fixes it.

And sometimes, a walk around the block ALONE fixes it.

We all need a break, I don't feel the least bit guilty passing child duty off to my husband when he comes home and taking 30 minutes of me time to decompress.

Hide hide hide! Because, one day (trust me, i know this one) she will figure out where you are hiding. Then she will bang on the door.

I feel your pain, Beth. Move beyond the guilt for the down time and relish it when you can.

Keep your chin up. We're all pulling for you!

I am totally cracking up. I used to hide in the bathroom. If we didn't hide from our babies occasionally, we would all be nuts! That is hilarious!

Hey! I'm hiding right this damn minute! Wee!

*lurker here* My daughter is 2 and I still hide in the bathroom when I need some me time. Only now, she's figured how to open the door so if I forget to lock it I'm SOL and in for company.

I have had lots of those days. As for the baby who never wants to be put down, you could invest in a baby sling and wear her everywhere. I did that with my third because she always (and I mean always) wanted to be near the good stuff, and me. It also meant I had 2 free hands to do things with and a pretty content bubs, unless it was feed time.
And you need your 'you' time, because you do not want to loose you.

Yes, sometimes you do need break. As a mom of an 8 year old, 2 year old and 4 month old. It gets pretty tiring to be around them 24 hours a day. You need you time. Maybe next time spend the two hours out the house on your own. It makes a world of difference.

you are wicked smahhht!! taking a bit of time for YOURSELF is A-ok.

yes, sane. sane AND smarter than the mom who lets herself become useless and burnt out because she guilts herself into thinking she has to have all the answers all the time and do everything alone. so good for you.

glad all's well in the fish's house. ;)

Sierra's "bed time" is 8 pm just so I can have my evenings baby free. It'll get way easier once Mia turns 3 months.

I love the stage you're in right now. Mia is such a darling.

(I remember when two hours away made me sane, too. Now I could go for a week and still be crazy as a loon. Muwahahaha!)

Yes, you are sane, but those are also the days when it is necessary to hide for 2 hours (or more, depending).

I am happy to read your update...Mia is absolutely beautiful. I emailed Chris a while back to congratulate you both and to ask him if you were both prepared for 'after the baby'...meaning the toddler stage and the school age and taking them to soccer and the whatnot. Your post today helped bring some REALITY to all the goo-goo-gaa-gaa and yet remind us all it's still all worth it.
Thank you.

It just seems like they wake up one day and do new things, doesn't it?!

And yes you have to take breaks to be sane... one of the major things you learn as a new parent!!

Hello, reminds me so much of when my daughter was little and my husband would come home from work and I would thrust her into his arms as he came in the door and say "Here, take your baby". Glad you're having a good time on the whole though and it gets better and better - fancy that!

When I had my 1st, the Ped. gave a perscription to me to give the baby to my husband for at least a hour everyday. I an relate to your blog today!

Good for you for realizing those things much earlier in the game than I did.

Kids are great, but sanity is absolutely necessary. :)

Yikes! This makes me a little nervous (of what I already knew) because I am going to be bringing the baby to work with me. I'm already worried that I'll go crazy - but I'm just not going to think about that right now. ;)

I used to go to Barnes & Noble at, like 8pm and just stare off into space for an hour or two. I watched the adults, leafed through magazines. Yes, you just need the space.

I love how you are ga-ga over baby Mia. And I love that you are okay with taking some time for yourself. Everyone needs time for themself.

Ahhhh, the changes. Mina likes to yell at the TV now (wonder where she gets that from.) I'm getting ready to invest in a 'super saucer.' It's all about entertainment for those kidolas.

I went through the same thing when my now three year old was a baby. Good for you for taking some you time, every mother needs it.

I remember the first time I told my mom that sometimes, SOMETIMES, I simply didn't like my baby. She told me, "That doesn't make you a bad mother, it just makes you human." It felt so reassuring to know that my mom, one of my greatest heros, wanted to sell me to the gypsies at times too!

I used to make my SE take Nico while I went grocery shopping. Trick is this...I used to go way way way out of town to get food. Turn the tunes up and sing to my hearts content and find that inner rock goddess that had disappeared under mommyhood.

It's good to get out now and then. They get to be really fun and interactive around six months... it rocks.

N.

wait a second...I WAS GONE SO LONG YOU HAD A BABY WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't feel bad. When I have my grandbaby over for the weekend, my husband comes home and I'm in one room and she's in the other end of the house for the same reason. He knows then, it's time to take 'lil lemon' outside for some Grandpa time. And the poo in the two outfits is nothing compared to when she 'discovers' it some day, wipes it all over the walls, and leaves tell tale smudges in her hair, over her face... Gag reflexes, dont fail me now...

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