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Two Months

Mia Bean,

I hardly know where to begin. You have grown and changed so much in the last month that I don't think I can possibly describe it all. About a week ago I looked at you napping in your bassinet and was amazed by how quickly the baby-ness is leaving your face. You looked in that moment like a child.

You hate being on your tummy, you fuss and cry every time. You hate it so much that earlier today when I put you on your tummy you rolled right over onto your back. You were nice enough to do it again when I brought your father in to watch, but when I broke out the video camera you decided you had had enough and just screamed until I rescued you. I think this makes you a roll-over prodigy.

If how you are now is any indication of how you will be as a toddler, I am terrified. You have an amazing attention span and a very strong will. If wishing made it so you would be running all over the house already. You have started to fixate on things and lean in their direction or at times fling your entire body towards the object of your desire. I have learned to hold you very tightly. One of your favorite things to do is to lie in your crib and watch your Winnie the Pooh mobile. Or rather, part of the mobile. You love Eeyore. You watch him and only him, moving your eyes and your head to follow him through the entire circle. It has been that way since the very first time you noticed the mobile about three weeks ago.

You sleep through the night. I'm going to say that again as it bears repeating. You sleep through the night. Sometimes six hours, sometimes seven or eight. I have to confess that I miss being up with you in the small hours of the morning and some nights as I put you to bed I hope you will be hungry and wake me up before morning. Last night you went to bed very early and woke up hungry at about 1:30. It has been so long since we had a 2 AM feeding that it took me a while to figure out what you wanted and I tried for a few minutes to soothe you back to sleep by rubbing your head. After you ate, you fell asleep with your warm little head on my chest and your sticky-outy hair tickling my nose. I miss that too lately. Usually when you finish eating you are too excited to move on to the next thing to sit for long with your head on my chest and your soft breath on my neck. As I sat there last night, I kept thinking please, please let me always remember this moment.

You have been doing much less screaming lately. For a while there, you screamed non-stop from 5:00 to 10:00 every night and your father and I ran around like crazy people trying to calm you down. You still have crying fits, but much less often. I think you are getting more used to being in the world and we are getting better at keeping you happy. The best way to avoid an all-night crying jag is to get you to nap, but you despise napping. You fight it as hard as you can, and a week ago you were awake for a marathon 12 hours (and in a nasty mood almost the entire time). You do sleep in your stroller and in the car, so some days we walk for miles and other days we drive until we see cows and mountains.

You stop crying when I blow raspberries on your stomach or neck or chubby thighs. This lead to the moment a few days ago when your father and I were marching you around the kitchen with me blowing raspberries on your neck to the tune of "76 Trombones" and your father keeping time with armpit farts. A screaming baby causes you to do some pretty strange things. Your father cannot wait until you are old enough for him to teach you how to armpit fart. I can't do it myself and that has always been a huge disappointment to him.

You have forced me to put my money where my mouth is. At right about 4 weeks old you started developing baby acne on your face it is still going strong. I was very upset when it started because I thought it somehow diminished my perfect baby. I wanted to avoid taking pictures or having people come meet you because of it. I'm over it, and I hope I will learn from it to remember that you are always my perfect baby, no matter what, and that we do not care about such things in this family. You are beautiful, even covered in spots.

You are not reaching for things yet, even though you will lunge at them. So far, your hands are only good for sucking and pulling hair. You will pull your own hair until it hurts and makes you scream, but you haven't yet figured out how to let go. You love to kick and coo and yell and dance with someone moving your arms and legs. You love to eat, and I am starting to love feeding you. You love to have people smile at you, and respond with huge, drooly, bubbly, toothless grins and noises that sound almost like laughing.

Last week, you spent 90 minutes with your grandparents while your father and I went out alone for the first time since you were born. It made me realize that our goal as your parents is to send you into the world as your own person - in small ways right now but eventually as an adult. My job is to make sure you are loved and adored and secure, that you learn how to be the person you want to be, and that I allow the person you want to be to be different from the person I want you to be. You are your own, Mia. Thank you for sharing yourself with me.


Comments (21)

This is beautiful. Here's to many many more monthly milestones!

aww bloody hell.

now i want one.

I got goosebumps.

you are soooo good at this!!

Wow. Those two months went by really fast.

i. cannot. believe. it's been two months already! i was on the verge of tears reading that post, thank you for writing it.

That was beautiful! Some day she will cherish these letters and be so appreciative of them! It's great that you're writing all this down, because even after a year you'll forget!

OK, the part about blowing rasperries to 76 Trombones, with Chris keeping time with armpit farts made me laugh out loud. Too funny.

OMG, now I want one...and D will kill me if I mention it. We've agreed to raise dogs.

Beautiful, I can't believe she's already 2 months.

That literally brought tears to my eyes. I can only hope and pray that one day, when I am a mother, I can articulate my thoughts and love so strongly to my child, that even strangers can feel it's warm glow through a cold computer screen.

That's so sweet.

Damn. You made the entire internet cry.

That was really nice, Beth. Thanks for sharing.

She is a prodigy!! I am still looking into where we sign the babies up for Mensa, I will let you know.

That is beautiful. I think that is the loveliest thing I've read in a while. I wish I had written all these things down when my kids were babies, too. It's hard to remember those tiny moments.

I wish to God I had these for my children. I am so jealous.

This post is amazing Beth. I have to say, Mia has some pretty darn good taste if she's eyeing Eeyore, he's always been my favorite.

Very sweet--are you trying to make me cry??

What a beautiful post!! My daughter when she was Mia's age used to grab her cheek and pull hard and cry until I pulled her hand away. Then she would look at me as if to say "oh that's much better mama". The love you have for Mia only deepens as time goes by, enjoy today always as it is so fleeting!

how beautiful. :)

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