Today? I went out! To lunch! With a friend! And the baby!!! Do you have any idea how huge this is? No? Well, let me just mention that Mia will be 14 weeks old tomorrow and that was the first time I have gone out since she was born. Well obviously, I have gone out, but only to run quick errands and a couple of family gatherings and one very fast dinner with Chris, but in the last 14 weeks this is the first time I have taken the baby to a restaurant and the first time I have sat down with a friend and talked and just been regular old me, but with a baby.
I think I know why I have been going a little nutso.
See, at first, it just seemed almost impossible to take Mia anywhere. I was a very skittish new mom (I'm getting better) and was so worried that she would be hungry or tired or would cry or poop in her hair and I wouldn't be able to cope. She's been more predicable lately, but still sometimes wants to eat 30 minutes after I feed her and she refuses to take a bottle (and please don't give me a bunch of advice about that) and I was a little uncomfortable breastfeeding in public, but I think doing it at rest stops on our beach trip cured me of that.
So anyway, I was nervous about taking her out today, but I just did it. She was wonderful - didn't make a peep the entire time and even allowed my friend to hold her. And I? Well, I realized that maybe I really can live this life, maybe I can even have a life. I gave up more than I expected to when I gave up my job, and as much as I love being the mommy, it was good for an hour to be a little less mommy and a little more just plain old Beth with a baby on my lap.