You are three months old today, and I think it makes sense to start by talking about the things you have stopped doing rather than the things you have started doing. You have stopped crying. Not entirely, of course, but you have stopped having the crying jags where we would have to walk you around for hours bouncing and singing and trying anything we could think of to comfort you. Now when you cry it is only for a few minutes and always because you are either tired or hungry or just want your mommy. You almost always stop immediately when I pick you up or rescue you from whatever non-mommy person I have dared to allow to hold you. You have, for the most part, stopped screaming when your father holds you. I can still comfort you faster than he can, but he can usually calm you down pretty quickly. The exception to this non-crying thing was last week when I cruelly left you with your grandmothers for 20 minutes while I tried to get a few chores done. You screamed the entire time like they were taking turns sticking you with pins. We are going to start working on getting you more comfortable with other people, but I have to admit it doesn't hurt my feelings a bit that you love your mama.
The other thing you have stopped doing is sleeping through the night. I was so proud and cocky and am paying for my arrogance. You prefer now to sleep in two hour stretches and then get up to eat. We aren't sure why this is happening, but I suspect it is because you are very close to learning how to suck your thumb and you wake yourself up because you want very badly to get your thumb into your mouth but you just can't do it yet. You hate the pacifier we tried to give you, and when I give it to you you look at me like I just poured dirt into your mouth.
You still hate to be on your tummy and I have to trick you by putting you on your tummy on my tummy. From there, you like to lift your head to look at me and chew on my boobs and especially like to roll off my tummy and land on the bed on your back. (I hold you very carefully when we do this.) You like me to turn you upside down and lift you over my head like you are flying. Your father keeps warning me that one of these days you are going to spit up in my face and you and I have made an agreement that you will only do it when he is at work and we will never tell.
You are a very happy baby, provided you are well fed and rested. The first thing you do every morning is throw your arms over your head to stretch and then give me a huge, wet smile. You are smiling spontaneously now, not just when we smile at you. (You will also stick your tongue out at us. I taught you that, and I am so proud.) I love your smiles, the way your whole face lights up and you look so totally delighted. When you smile it is like it completes something in me that I didn't even know was missing.
You love to lie on your back and kick and wiggle. Your father does a one man band routine with your rattles when you are cranky and it always makes you smile and squirm. You are starting to grab things - your clothes, your blankets, my hair, which you are very good at pulling. You like it when I run the tips of my hair across your face and also when I put a piece over your lip to see what you would look like with a moustache. You love to take baths, but hate to get out. I keep thinking you are about three seconds away from discovering your hands, but so far they are still just things that occasionally wander into your mouth or yank on your bib or your diaper.
You are starting to like your swing and your bouncy seat, but not as much as you like the ceiling fan in our bedroom. I am often able to eat dinner without nursing you at the same time, and am sometimes even able to eat with you sitting next to me rather than in my lap or over my shoulder.
Today, you napped in your crib for the very first time. You outgrew your bassinet but we were not ready to move you into your own room, so we just got you a bigger bassinet for our room. You slept in your crib only so we could move our bedroom furniture around to get your bed into a better place. I had a hard time getting you to sleep in your crib, because you kept just peeking your eyes open, spotting Eeyore, and waking up to gaze at him with love and admiration.
I haven't told anyone this and I didn't plan to, but I decided to tell you now because I think it is important. I had been worried that I wasn't bonding with you the way I should be. I loved you and would do anything I could to care for and protect you, but for quite a while I didn't have that feeling that everyone said I would, that huge, intense, overwhelming thing that everyone described to me. I have it now. Mia, I love you more than my own life. We were meant to be, we three.