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Remembrance of Sleep Past

If anyone ever wants to torture me for information, you should know that my breaking point for sleep deprivation is one week. (However, I will tell you whatever you want to know in exchange for chocolate chip cookies.)

Last Monday, we stopped swaddling Mia at night because she kept waking herself up trying to get her arms free. Since then, I have gotten no more than three hours of sleep a day, and most days much less and in chunks of 20 minutes or so. Mia is still a great sleeper, she just refuses to do it anywhere near her bed and insists on sleeping on or next to me. If she is feeling generous, she allows me to lie in bed while she sleeps, if not she will sleep only if I am entirely upright.

I am not a family bed person. I don't have anything against it, I am just terrified of squishing the baby. I even refused to even hook her co-sleeper to the bed because I worried I would push a pillow on top of her. The inch and a half between her bed and mine made me happy. Over the last week, I have been letting her fall asleep in my bed and then putting her into her bed, only to have to pick her up again within half an hour. I tried to do the same thing last night, but the exhaustion got the better of me and I would wake up utterly surprised to find Mia right next to me. This is not good.

This morning, I educated Mia in the use of power tools by strapping her co-sleeper to the bed. This required taking my bed apart to raise the mattress. Twice. I am hopeful that this will satisfy her insistance on sleeping with me and still let me get some sleep instead of staying awake all night to make sure I don't roll over. If not, I think it is time for Mia to bond with her father.

(I know we are still very lucky and some people go through this for months, but she was sleeping 8 hours straight at four weeks and I got spoiled.)

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go lie on the floor and cry. I promise it is the only logical thing to do.

Comments (31)

Awww, I hope Mia will let you have some sleep soon! Hugs to you.

I made a deal with iBaby. 8 hours straight as soon as (s)he is born.

Aww...I am so sorry you are so tired. I just wanted to step up and say thanks. I read your blog quite frequently and I'm picking up tidbits of information from you. When my baby is born (in July)and I'm going insane, I will remember your posts and feel reassured I'm really not going crazy. Anyway-thanks for sharing your experiences and life. You really seem like a good mother and your daughter is beautiful.

These girls of ours are tricky...TRICKY! She'll stop soon, I know it. I fell into the whole "rock to sleep" deal with LittleJuJu when he was a baby and swore I would never ever do it again, it was awful. I don't rock the baby to sleep ever but he and I still have a ten minute rock before bed while we cuddle and talk about the day. I hope you and Mia can hold on to the nighttime cuddle that she loves without losing the sleep. You'll figure it all out.

My handy assvice for the day: Try throwing a few USED breast pads into her crib/cosleeper. For many scent-sensitive babies that will be enough to make them feel they have proper proximity.

take care of you.
it's the only way.

This part is so physically draining. It's the part that messes with your mind, body and emotions simultaneously. It doesn't last forever, but jeez it feels like it doesn't it ?

Oy! That little girl is sure giving you guys a run for your money. Too bad they don't make tranquilizers for babies and small children. I would be first in line at the store! I'm sure you would be fighting me for that place. heehee.

oh...i most definitely feel for you.

there's nothing worse than getting a taste of blissful several-hours-in-a-row sleep, only to have it yanked away from you.

i'm praying for some sleep for you!

Sleep deprivation sucks. It's amazing the things you end up doing that you thought you wouldn't (like co-sleeping). I don't think you'll roll over on her. I hope you get some sleep soon. (PS If I were there I'd hold her while you took a long nap.)

Be strong and let her cry a little a lone, each time aloowing a little more and soon she will be sleeping on her own.

Ohhh man, I'm so sorry. I love my sleep time. I don't know what I'm going to do when I finally have kids. I'll probably lie on the floor and cry like you've done.

And by the way, what is a co-sleeper? I figure it's a good idea to know what it is for future reference.

Hope you get a little more sleep tonight. :)

I remember being in a daze for months after each of my three children were born- I was so incredibly exhausted. And then some.

I promise it will get better. The trick is to enjoy every second, even when you're so tired that you want to lie down and cry. Even when you're so tired that you do lie down and cry.

Because it goes oh, oh, so fast- my babies are now teenagers!

Not that knowing any of this helps when you're weaving, I know, but know that you're not the first mom to feel this way, and you won't be the last. It's okay to cry.

As long as you don't wake the sleeping baby while sobbing, that is.... ;-)

My only advice is to do whatever it takes to get sleep and then break the bad habits later. We did the let's-take-a-nap-on-Mommy thing for many months until I decided that it was time to quit cold turkey (nap time was stretching into "why can't we sleep on you at night" time). And they rolled with it. I think in the case of babies, you can teach an old baby many many more tricks. More tricks that an old dog, anyway.

Just dropping by to sympathize. I also was scared of squishing the babies so I understand your fear.

People really underestimate how debilitating sleep-deprivation is!

Oh cool, I've heard of the co-sleeper but I've never seen one. Hope you'll share how it works out. Then I'll be envious that I never bought one, but oh well.

Oh poor you! I remember those days so well... when you can't take anymore, there are some very good methods of getting your babies to sleep on their own - methods that really work. But until then, get as much of the yummy, chubby, snuggling as you can - they grow so fast1

I swear we go through the same things with our babies. Your post reminded me of this one that I wrote myself not too long ago... http://khatina.blogspot.com/2005/10/co-sleeping.html

Check it out!

Lying on the floor crying DOES sound like the logical solution.

I hope you and Mia figure things out soon. Hang in there!

I've been there really. Once she gets over this hump (or more officially developmental mielstone) she'll get back on track. I think. Then again, I have a kid that just NOW started to sleep the night (all of it)... and he's ALMOST THREE!

Assvice alert!

Have you tried letting her sleep in her carseat (in the house, obviously, not in the car.)?

And I second the used breast pads or a blanket you've worn next to your skin for a day.

Sorry you're so exhausted - it's an inevitable by-product of being the breastfeeding mommmy to an under 6 month old baby.

I have a 7 month old son, Will, and it took some doing to get my and his sleep habits to a workable point, particularly when I needed to go back to work when he hit 31/2 months.

Our experience went kinda like this: mom needs to sleep; baby needs to sleep; baby needs to eat every 4 hours, max; baby sleeps with mommy! Of course this is predicated on daddy being ok with the plan. I can see why some couples hesitate to make this particular commitment.

Just keep in mind she will sleep through the night eventually, no matter what you do! And then you'll miss those sacred nighttime moments you spent with her, kinda like you sorta miss being pregnant (I do - do you?)

cheers ~
Trish

I know what you mean about the rolling-over fear. I mean, there's that story in the Bible where the baby dies and Solomon has to threaten to cut the other one in half...and yeah. It's always freaked me out.

We had the same problem ending swaddling, Ava slept great for weeks, then woke every half hour when we took the blanket away. I had bought a special blanket that's REALLY wide, so we left her arms and legs out and just wrapped her middle. It was wide enough that I wasn't afraid she'd get it undone and suffocate or something.

She went right back to sleeping all night. And after a week or so of that she's now blanket free.

I bet the cosleeper bassinet arrangement will work great, I wish I'd bought one of those.

Sleep deprivation is the worst. Good luck tonight.

I'd offer advice, since I have been there before (like last month) but I am sure you have heard it all! I will say don't worry, it will get better eventually. You will figure out what works and forget all about these sleepless nights. Well maybe not forget, but it will get better. :)

The same thing happened to us with Nick. So, instead of swaddling his arms in we swaddle him with his arms out in a blanket that I slept with so that my "smell" was on it. Crazy - but it WORKED!!!! Try it-I'm sure you're willing to try almost anything.

The same thing happened to us with Nick. So, instead of swaddling his arms in we swaddle him with his arms out in a blanket that I slept with so that my "smell" was on it. Crazy - but it WORKED!!!! Try it-I'm sure you're willing to try almost anything.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

The worst part (for me) was the sleep deprivation. I never realized how selfish I was about sleep until the babies came into my life. When I found out (surprise!) that I was pregnant with #4, I wasn't worried about time, about money, about experiencing pain in childbirth...I was worried about losing sleep again. It is tough.

AWWWW!!!! Hang in there, honey!

I posted a couple of minutes ago, and it doesn't seem to have showed up. 2nd time today (different blogsite).

To repeat myself -
I hope you get a good night sleep and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

yikes, i hope you get some sleep soon!

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So the Fish Said...

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