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Dear Safeway Cashier,

This may come as a surprise to you, but I was not eager to discuss my Chap stick addiction with you. I admit that I have a problem, but it does not make me a bad person and I'm not entirely sure where you got off lecturing me about it. I mean, I had enough tact to avoid mentioning your obvious addiction to unfortunate hairstyles and poor dental care. All I ask from you is the same courtesy. I'm sure I am not the first person to come through your line with a loaf of french bread and four Chap sticks.


Comments (35)

You should hear them when I buy more than one bottle of lotion at once. It was like I was buying a few bottles of hard liquor or something.

You know that she has some morbid thought of why you are buying 4 tubes of it too like if you're using it as diaper cream or maybe as a suppository..... LOL

That's like the clerk at Walmart who went on about how her baby's father ditched her and now she can't afford the food that I was lucky I was.

here in Missouri, the meth capital of the us, we get questioned for buying too much of anything.
Stupid little cashier at Wally World asked my why I was buying so many pencils.
Why do you ask, o' goddess of the WallyWorld?
Well we're supposed to ask about questionable purchases.
Three dozen pencils is questionable.
Un huh.
I'm giving them as gifts to my side of the family. With a note that says stick a pencil in your eye, for me.
**I SWEAR TO GOD** she says,
I'm going to have to get my supervisor to ring these.

clap on
clap off
the clapper

Angela Marie - That kind of behavior would make me FURIOUS!!
I came to buy food, not food with a side of guilt and depression!

When did lotion, pencils and chapstick become an issue of national security?

Uh, so furious that I spell chap stick wrong.

The nerve of some people!

Dude, you only bought 4. In the dead of winter. It's called STOCKING UP, people.

Stocking Stuffers!

Ha! Beth, I am sitting staring at the chapsticks that reside by my computer screen at all times. The cherry flavored chapstick, and my all-time favorite, the breast cancer chapstick with the lip moisturizer. Have you tried that one? It is my FAVORITE. I bought a jumbo pack at Costco and have on in my car, one in each pocket of my coats, two floating around in my purse, and then assorted all over the house.

I share your addiction, my friend, and I think it is a good one.

Hee I too have a chapstick addiction, glad to meet another person who does too :-)

I'm wondering what rule you broke there in the Safeway Good Customer Guide...

Are there laws? Will you be banned??

Will your picture hang behind the customer service desk with a note

Oh, yeah, you're trouble, I can tell.

Augh! The chap stick! Oh, how I love thee, sweet chap stick. Do you have that problem where you're driving in the car, and realize you forgot it at home? Your lips were fine a moment ago, but now they seem to be cracking, parched expanses of lip desert. Happens to me all the time.

I have a chapstick addiction too. I buy the ginormous packs of Lipsmacker because it is the only thing that really works for me, and I get butchered for it every time too! Good to know I'm not the only one.

everyone loves chap stick!!!!

Ugh. I hate it when people like that poke their noses where they don't belong. You should have asked her what she uses for those teeth. Asshat

Hi. My Name is Wicked and I have set up a 12 step program for all of us. The next Chapstick abusers meeting with a side of french bread will take place on Jan 3rd.

Hang in and moisturize plenty until then.

"Oh, how old is your baby? My brother and his wife are having a baby in May. I'm not thrilled about it since they use a lot of drugs and drink all of the time."


I don't have a chapstick addiction - but I do have a lip stuff addiction, Chapstick, lipstick, juicy tubes, Juice Gems, Blistex, Hemp Chanvre Lip Protector, Burts Bees... and on and on, if it goes on your lips, I not only own it, I own mulitples, and bring a variety with my everywhere I go. Preparedness... it's a good thing. Like right now.. I have 1 medicated blistex, 1 tinted blistex, 1 strawberry Juice Jem, and my Hemp Chanvre! =) People can think I'm weird all they want.. but I have the best tasting/smelling, softest, non-chapped, sparkely, and kinda shiney lips on the face of the earth! =)

You should have told her that chapstick makes a great personal lubricant or some other wild story. :)

I use that stuff all the time. 4 is not a lot. It's nice to have one for everywhere you might be in the house, and one for your purse.

And you can tell her that for me.

Safeway cashiers suck. Bwahahaha! :-)

Oy! Yeah, that would make me a wee bit pissy. (Ok more than a wee bit).

So, I went out shopping yesterday morning, and purchased * 6 * new tubes of lip balm in assorted styles and flavors (but one of them was for my husband... I can stop buying them any time, I swear). Anyway, the clerk didn't look twice, which I appreciated. But, I got home and read this while I was eating lunch and almost snorted lentil curry out my nose, I laughed so hard. They may wonder about us, but our lips will be smooth this winter!

When compared with all the other possible addictions, I think your Chapstick one is pretty tame.

Halloweenlover writes: "and my all-time favorite, the breast cancer chapstick with the lip moisturizer." Am I the only one picturing a boob shaped tube complete with nipple moisturizure dispenser? Like those where you click and a little blob comes out the tip. If so, maybe I've been nursing too long.

Immediately after reading this, I had to make sure my chapstick was still in my pocket, and I had to apply some because I NEEDED it. I swear by Chapstick Lip Moisturizer (in the blue tube) and I have about 4 sitting around in the house, car, and jeans pockets at the moment.

Oh, seriously. I hate it when they comment on anything I'm getting.

Where's my damn chapstick!

ha! what is it with cashiers being annoyingly verbose lately? miss domestic just wrote about an experience too.

hey, if your worst indulgence is the chapstick, more power to you! ;) at least it wasn't 4 bottles of rum.

Could have been worse, imagine if you'd been buying condoms too! Yup, diapers, vasolines and a box of condoms. ha! Should have used to self-scan.


Hi, de-lurking here because I've drank the kool-aid and decided it is still Friday :)

I had a the guy at Whole Foods once ring up my bread and then glance at me and say "So, obviously not going with that carb-free diet, huh?"

I shoulda smacked him....

Um, as far as I'm concerned the only "lipstick" worth mentioning in the winter monts (fine, fine, ALL YEAR ROUND) is plain old chapstick. Not cherry flavored, not "with moisturizers," just plain old black label chapstick.

(and PS- Woohoo, I'm back after a GIANT hiatus fom your blog!!)

oops, I meant to write "winter MONTHS." I was an English Major in College, but who's judging me??

While I'm at it, I probably should have capitalized "Chapstick," no?

If only more people would try playing the "quiet game" ;)

In support of Beth, I plan to buy at least 6 tubes of Chapstick at my next trip to the store.

The clerk most likely to get punched by me was the guy who looked at my bag of candy and box of tampons and said "Rough week, huh?!"

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

Meet the Fish

I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

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