Internet, I need a clever idea and since I have not had a clever idea on my own in many months I am turning to you for help. The lovely and charming (and also Dutch) Sweety is expecting a little bundle of joy in 7 weeks and I must send her a truly excellent and wonderful baby gift. Now, Sweety lives in a windmill and on her way to work each day skips through tulips in her wooden shoes pausing only to stick her fingers into leaky dikes. She sent Mia her very own little wooden shoes, which never fit and believe you me that I was hugely disappointed by that because I was really looking forward to making Mia wear them. Anyway, I have been trying to think of a very American baby gift to send Sweety in return, and so far all I can think of is a mullet, which would be hard to ship. So help me out, Internet. Any ideas?
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Help Wanted
So the Fish Said...
Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.
- Walt Whitman
Meet the Fish
I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids. I am freakishly flexible.
World's Most Beautiful Child

World's Most Handsome Child

Other Important Things
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Comments (39)
Is there a way to send obesity over seas? That's pretty american.
Dang--I dunno what a good "American" baby gift would be.
Posted by Ginny | December 11, 2005 5:38 PM
De-lurking for this one.
For a boy: A Louisville slugger baseball bat, Mickey Mouse or sock monkey.
For a girl? A little harder... a Barbie, a Minnie Mouse or ??? MAN that's hard.
Posted by Pammer | December 11, 2005 5:45 PM
a mullet? rofl. don't forget the budweiser. :P hmm. i don't know.
Posted by Manda | December 11, 2005 6:30 PM
Hmmm....nothing seems as cool as wooden shoes. You could always send a McDonald's gift card. Nothing screams American like McDonald's. I think Pammer has some good ideas. Something Mickey Mouse sounds good.
Posted by Nicole | December 11, 2005 6:31 PM
Definitely Mickey Mouse... or maybe baby Elvis!
Posted by Nana2Ava | December 11, 2005 6:37 PM
I'd go with the Mickey...or even something Winnie the Pooh. Everything Disney started in America.
Posted by Krush | December 11, 2005 6:55 PM
Yeah, Baby Mickey would be cute. Maybe some baby Nikes or something?
Posted by donna | December 11, 2005 7:12 PM
I was going to say something Winnie The Pooh-ish.
But then I started thinking: Americans have a ridiculous sense of pride. So maybe some sort of clothing with an American flag? Or a blanket with a flag on it? Because we don't really do shoes. We just fly our flag...
Posted by Emily | December 11, 2005 7:23 PM
The mullet idea was so funny! And I love the post about sending her obesity...
How about one of those Trash Talkin Turlene dolls. You can find them on Whitetrashpalace. It's a doll with a pregnant belly, she has a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and says things like, "Pour me a double. I'm drinking fer two!" You could go with a whole Red neck theme. And you could get the baby pacifers that, when put in the baby's mouth, make it look like the kids has two or three jagged, rotted teeth.
Posted by Lisa B | December 11, 2005 8:14 PM
I'm down with the Mickey Mouse ideas!
Posted by Stephanie | December 11, 2005 9:53 PM
hmmmm...a mini liberty bell?
Posted by laura | December 11, 2005 10:37 PM
Does it get anymore American than baseball caps?
Posted by jen | December 11, 2005 11:20 PM
I've been reading for some time and decided to *finally* de-lurk to help out. I love these slippers...very cute and unique. I'm not sure they shout American, but they are awfully fun. I hope the link works. http://www.sillykilili.com/slippers.htm
Posted by Maggie | December 11, 2005 11:21 PM
Tivo?
Posted by Stacy | December 11, 2005 11:55 PM
How would apple pie hold up during shipping?
Posted by erin | December 12, 2005 12:41 AM
girl : Vintage barbie paper dolls (magnetic for little fingers)
boy : louisville slugger baseball bat.
no doubt.
Posted by Jade | December 12, 2005 1:33 AM
Winnie the Pooh is Canadian, as the bear was named after Winnipeg, Manitoba. ;)
Posted by Heather | December 12, 2005 1:39 AM
Her very own Starbucks mug. ha ha.
That IS hard and I can't think of anything. (I shouldn't have commented then, eh?)
Posted by Jessica | December 12, 2005 1:51 AM
red leather cowboy boots. too cute!
Posted by mamadaisy | December 12, 2005 3:34 AM
Ooooo, the cowboy boots idea was the one. Mamadaisy hit that one head on!
Posted by MoMMY | December 12, 2005 7:43 AM
How about a mullet wig? ;)
http://www.mcphee.com/items/M6125.html
Posted by erika | December 12, 2005 7:48 AM
I did not read others comments so this may be a repeat.
Basball hat.
A radio flyer wagon (may be expensive to ship).
Any type of your local sports team outfit.
Ryan Seacrest. I think the U.S. is done with him.
Posted by william | December 12, 2005 8:02 AM
I think the mickey mouse ears or the cowboy boots would be great. Perhaps some gold chains with big medallions on them? Bling Bling? ( Im embarrassed I said that...)
Posted by alfredsmom | December 12, 2005 9:35 AM
Cute: Oshgosh b'gosh overalls.
Funny / tacky: a teeny tiny NASCAR shirt.
I also found a onesie that says :" Question authority".
Posted by meghan | December 12, 2005 10:49 AM
Maybe a children's book on Native Americans? Or a dream catcher for the baby's room?
A little quilt, with the baby's name embroidered on it? Quilts are a part of American history and they are functional too!
As a fellow "cloggy" I think Sweety would like that. Or one of those wind up music boxes for the baby room that plays an American tune? (You Americans may find that tacky, but with Mr. Sweety and Sweety's love for America I think they would like it!)
That's all I can think of for now! Hope it helps!
Posted by Nynke | December 12, 2005 11:54 AM
Ow! Just came up with another one! One of those little base ball dolls with the over-sized heads that bop!
heeeee, that would be funny!
Posted by Nynke | December 12, 2005 11:55 AM
How about some credit card debt and a cheeseburger? The burger may not ship well, but the debt would at least be fun to run up!
Posted by shannon | December 12, 2005 12:03 PM
Cowboy boots is a perfect idea! Or tiny little Converse sneakers.
And Winnie the Pooh is British, folks. Unless we are trying to make point about our (Ameican) tendencies of appropriating things.
Posted by nrp | December 12, 2005 12:55 PM
I am in love with baby cowboy boots. That just might be a great idea (especially since she gave you wooden shoes).
I tired and tried to think of an "american" baby gift to take over to our friends in Germany. I admit, I NEVER came up with anything and went over empty handed.
Good luck.
Posted by Isabel | December 12, 2005 1:41 PM
My mom, the banker, always gives silver dollars of the year they are born to my cousins' kids. I always thought that was a neat keepsake. Though I must admit, I like the cowboy boots idea!
Posted by Beth in StL | December 12, 2005 3:51 PM
How about I Love Virginia Baby Tee?
Posted by mrsmogul | December 12, 2005 4:01 PM
White sneakers!!
Posted by ava | December 12, 2005 5:49 PM
Nike baby shoes.
Posted by Marsha | December 12, 2005 7:31 PM
When I think of america, I think of supersized starbucks cups......a picture of uncle sam.....american pie (the song but you can maybe get a pie key ring or something??)......the bald eagle....and thats about all I can think of now.....gee thats pretty good for an aussie!!!
Posted by Allycat | December 13, 2005 1:00 AM
Okay. Here's the deal. My husband is full-Dutch (like - wooden shoes, tulips, windmills, and all) and I asked his opinion on this one. Apparently... the Dutch wooden shoe is the equivalent of an American Christmas stocking. So... I hate to crush everyone's visions of the Dutch trapsing around in wooden shoes... but that is long gone. The only thing wooden shoes are used for now is this: On Dec. 5th (not 25th), the Dutch children place their wooden shoes by the fireplace. They fill them with hay and carrots (B/C St. Nickolas rides a horse... not creepy flying reindeer). Anyway, St. Nickolas takes the hay and carrots for his horse; and leaves candy. So... my point being... maybe you could send the baby a Christmas stocking? If you know the name... you might could have it monogrammed?
Good Luck! Let us all know what you decide to do.... :-)
Posted by steph | December 13, 2005 10:47 AM
Umm...actually, Winnie WAS Canadian - he was a bear from Winnepeg,Manitoba, loaned to the London Zoo, where Christopher Robin saw him, blah blah blah. A.A. Milne, the author, was English.
http://www.arch.mcgill.ca/prof/adams/arch350/fall1999/students/lcappell/page4~1.html
There are onesies that look like little baseball uniforms - cute as hell and go along with the American theme!
Posted by daysgoby | December 13, 2005 1:01 PM
Why SPAM of course! (meaning the canned meat, not junk email).
:-)
Posted by carrster | December 13, 2005 2:19 PM
Oh I say you have Mr. Fish put together a music CD with all American music, and get osh gosh over alls! those are too cute!
Posted by Gypsy | December 14, 2005 12:45 AM
a onsie that says something about mullets???
Posted by lizabetty | December 14, 2005 6:10 PM