We finally got our Christmas tree up this week, and it got me to thinking about my Christmas tree memories. I have lots of time for thinking these days as it does not require too much mental capacity to sing songs about poop (such as the Simon and Garfunkel classic "Feelin' Poopy.") Now, just imagine some trippy music and a gentle camera fade as we move on to Beth's Christmas Tree Memories...
Growing up, my younger brother had a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament from the year he was born. I did not have one. I asked my mother (repeatedly) why this was and got a series of bald-faced lies as excuses, such as they did not make such ornaments the year I was born. Finally in desperation, my mother made me a Baby's First Christmas ornament. Touching, yes? Not so much. You know those ornaments that are just plastic balls wrapped in red string? She took one of those and a sharpie and wrote "Baby's First Christmas 1974" on it. Mom isn't exactly crafty. The lack of a Baby's First Christmas ornament was a source of great sorrow for me and emotionally damaged me for life and I am not even kidding about that. Then yesterday, as I was out with Mia buying her a Baby's First Christmas ornament, I had a Brilliant Idea! I would get on Ebay and buy myself my very own Baby's First Christmas 1974 ornament and thereby heal 31 years of psychic pain. Surely, I thought, I would find one on Ebay. You can find anything on Ebay. Not so much, and therefore I am still suffering.
Moving on, when I was eight or nine I insisted that my parents buy the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. I think the tree was a little dry to start with, and by the day after Christmas when we took it down, there were far more needles piled on the carpet than were still on the tree. One night, my best friend spent the night and we slept on the pull out couch in the same room as the Christmas tree. We got very little sleep, however, as we were too busy amusing the heck out of ourselves by blowing gently in the direction of the tree and listening to hundreds of needles fall to the ground each time we did it. Sounds pretty lame now, but trust me it was great fun.
And finally, round about 1997 or 1998 (I can date it because I remember we were in our crappy old apartment) Chris and I were putting up our tree. We had one of those metal stands with the legs that you jam into slots on the bowl, and which apparently was designed for a tree somewhat smaller and considerably less crooked than the tree we had selected. We could not get that tree to stand up for love or money. At some point, we hit upon the clever idea of tying a rope around the trunk and tying the other end to one of the legs of the stand as some sort of counter-balance. Yeah, it didn't work. We finally admitted that we needed a new tree stand (which I was grumpy about, we were pretty poor at this point) and I headed out to the hardware store to get one. I will never forget the scene when I returned. Chris was sitting on the floor next to the tree with his back against the wall and clinging desperately to the rope that was preventing the tree from toppling over. Maybe you had to be there, but trust me, it was hilarious.
What about you guys? Any good/bad/weird Christmas tree memories?