Yesterday I dumped, oh, I don't know, a gallon of breastmilk down the sink along with two half-eaten and freezer burned pints of Ben and Jerry's. I was more upset about the ice cream than the milk. The reasons for this are twofold:
1) Mia will not under any circumstances accept milk from any dispenser other than the breast. In the event that she accidentally gets some milk out of the bottle or sippy cup that she has been happily playing with she becomes irate and screams until I remove the offending object from her sight. She is Not. Having. It. So, most of that milk was pumped to keep my boobs from exploding (see item 2).
2) I have milk coming out the, well, I have a lot of milk. Seriously, if you know some hungry triplets you should send them my way. My breasts may be small and rather lopsided and not highly attractive, but they sure can lactate. Go boobs. So that gallon of milk was nuthin' - give me lots of water and a couple hours and I'll feed every baby within a four mile radius.
I did consider donating to a milk bank, but you have to donate 100 ounces, and that's an awful lot of pumping considering that Mia would not have a drop of it so I am selfish and never did it. Sue me.
And just since we are on the subject, am I the only one who thinks the business end of a breast pump really ought to be opaque? I mean, nobody needs to see that.
With that, I am going to try my hardest to not post a single thing about my breasts for, let's say one week minimum. However, before the moratorium I have to mention that today is the third day in a row that I have returned from running errands to discover that one or both sides of my nursing bra is unhooked. I make motherhood look hot.
Comments (33)
Dude. My nursing bra is always unhooked. Sometimes, the flap is all the way down and I've been running around town with a boob hanging out of the bra and covered only by the tee shirt I'm wearing. Two nurslings later and I'm so over modesty.
Posted by Elaine | December 13, 2005 11:50 AM
I dunno, I kind of like watching what's going on in my breastpump. Since every ounce I get out is like pulling teeth (or something), I'm stoked to see results!
Posted by Beth | December 13, 2005 12:18 PM
I need visual confirmation on the breasts. ... ok, ... maybe not ... on second thought ...
My wife had the opposite problem with our daughter. My daughter wouldn't take from the source. My wife pumped a lot. We even bought a freezer for it. I like the freezer now. It holds my pizzas, but no more boob juice.
~Jef
Posted by Jef | December 13, 2005 12:23 PM
Actually, being able to see through the horns to see what's going on when pumping can help out if mom's find they are getting little or nothing when pumping. Sometimes, by looking at what is going on with the nipple, you can tell that the horns are the wrong size, suction isn't good, etc.
Posted by momma2mingbu | December 13, 2005 12:28 PM
I remember how frusterating that was to HAVE to have the boobs ready at all times, I nursed for 18 months. She wouldn't take a bottle either. I feel your pain. I must admit, I hated pumping tho too. Those breast pumps were made by men on crack, I'm sure of it.
Posted by Melissa Sunshine | December 13, 2005 1:04 PM
I wore my favorite dress with the tight little waist, two weeks after having darling daughter...yes I said two weeks.
I was so proud of myself.
I even sang in church that morning.
One of my precious grannies in church mentioned to me that I was leaking. yeth, I had leaked from both of the girls on the platform in church whilst singing.
DearHusband used to joke that I was the remedy to world hunger. Send me to Somolia for all those starving children.
Talk about your boobs all you want. You're among friends.
Posted by speckledpup | December 13, 2005 2:27 PM
Running around doing errands with your nursing bra unhooked? I've got you beat! I spoke in front of 3000 TEENAGERS for a good 1/2 hour or more with both sides unhooked. Yep, didn't know that until after I was finished. Thankfully, no leaking. I can't imagine the horror and trauma those poor kids would be dealing with if leakage had happened.
Ohh... speckled pup, in front of the church! Wilst singing! And a granny lady letting you know what your boobs were doing! But you were in your tiny waisted dress! Who cares!
Posted by dawn | December 13, 2005 2:39 PM
Ha! Yes, I just dropped my eldest off at preschool with one of my hooks undone, chez attractive.
And so far, I'm feeling your pain, both boys happily took pacifiers, switched from boob to bottle and back, but girlchild? No way. You put anything silicone in her mouth and she gags and chokes like you are feeding her dog poop.
Posted by A.K. | December 13, 2005 3:06 PM
I'm kinda glad the end is opaque. My 5 & 7 year old think it's wicked cool.
Posted by shannon | December 13, 2005 4:14 PM
Isn't it funny to think that awhile ago, you never would have thought you would be writing posts on breasts and breast milk?
Posted by kat | December 13, 2005 5:34 PM
That post was so funny! I got a kick out of it. Thanks.
Posted by Lisa B | December 13, 2005 7:34 PM
I never thought about doing that for the breast pump. SMART!! I think you should patent that.
Posted by JL Dropout | December 13, 2005 7:38 PM
I'm so jealous. I am going back to work and cant pump enough milk for the life of me. My baby REFUSES to accept formula. She'll take a bottle of pumped milk, but she gets a whiff of that formula and gets pretty pissed. I don't blame her. It makes me gag and wretch any time I smell it.
Posted by millie | December 13, 2005 10:17 PM
PS: Your baby is adorable!
Posted by millie | December 13, 2005 10:19 PM
UGH! You mean you can see the milk coming out??? That's just so wrong. On so many levels.
Posted by donna | December 13, 2005 10:47 PM
I went to pick my 3 year old daughter up from a new friend playdate and had to wrestle her into her shoes while holding my baby in the other arm. Bending over in my white v neck shirt -only to realize when I got home that both nursing flaps where down. That must have been a sight!
Posted by Cindy | December 13, 2005 11:33 PM
I am so glad you are successful! I really was bad at it, my children would have starved! So I did the only humaine thing...fed them from a can! LOL
Posted by Gypsy | December 14, 2005 12:39 AM
Come and live with me, you can feed my babies while i go to the shops! Enticing, I know. Mia and Chris can come too.
Posted by belgianwaffle | December 14, 2005 5:48 AM
There's a breast milk bank? Wow. The things you learn.
All I ever think about when I read/hear about a breast pump is that stupid The Hand That Rocks The Cradle movie. I'm hoping that I'll get over that if and when I have a kid because, man, who needs that sinister little visual everytime they go to feed their baby?
Also, boobies are fun. Why stop talking about them?
Posted by patricia | December 14, 2005 8:46 AM
I mention my boobs at least every other day. No, I'm not lactating or anything...why do you ask?
Posted by laura | December 14, 2005 9:23 AM
im all for the opaque! Brillant!
Posted by Shannon | December 14, 2005 9:34 AM
Milk bank?
For real?
Get outta here. THAT visual I'll just keep to myself.
Posted by Amy | December 14, 2005 10:00 AM
I forget to re-hook my nursing bra all the time.
Posted by K. | December 14, 2005 10:56 AM
Okay, so when you stop nursing, and well your *size* fluctuates to NOT nursing (hell, I nursed for over 2 years, I don't know what the new bra size is)--um, it happens still.
I just blame it on motherhood.
Posted by Bethany | December 14, 2005 12:20 PM
Oh, and what I meant to add to that last post... yeah, my boob still falls out without the nursing bra. Call it the ever changing boob sizes. Sigh... need more coffee.
Posted by Bethany | December 14, 2005 12:20 PM
I'm sure you do, Sugar! LOL
Posted by Queen of Ass | December 14, 2005 12:23 PM
I could never keep those damned things hooked. I think they make them like that just to mess with the tired, cramped mind of a new mother! lol
Posted by Jade | December 14, 2005 12:54 PM
well...isabella will take a bottle...with any nipple, we've discovered. if it's food, she is all about it. no matter how it's getting into her buddha belly.
but my breasts are not made for pumping...i dealt with purple, swollen, bleeding nipples to pump out about 1/2 an ounce until i finally gave up and opened up that formula container.
so, eternal question of the day...why is it that those who can pump can't feed it to their babies, and those who can't pump have babies who will take it????
Posted by ali | December 14, 2005 1:20 PM
Opaque wouldn't work for me. I can't feel letdown at all. By being able to see I can tell when to powercycle the Pump In Style advanced, sending it into overdrive to coax out another letdown. But I'm BFAR (breastfeeding after reduction) and therefore lactationally challenged. What do I know?
Posted by Kim | December 14, 2005 2:37 PM
gosh all that sounds real fun, er, yeah...mia is worth it though :)
Posted by lizabetty | December 14, 2005 6:12 PM
Beth, I came upon this site from kosher-pork and love it. I have a 18 month old daughter, Kyra, who has grown up way to fast. It's nice to read your posts and remember what it was like when she was a baby. Unfortunately, Kyra didn't take a bottle either and I too threw away a ton of milk. On the plus side, you'll be able to add it to cereal and other foods in a couple months, so it won't be a total waste. Yeah, and I was lopsided, too. Oh well, at least they're both still bigger then they used to be:)
Posted by Kim | December 14, 2005 10:37 PM
I'm totally with you on opaque. I've often thought that myself. Addy won't take a bottle either and I've been threatening to make butter from my freezer stash for profit.
Posted by Kelly | December 15, 2005 3:56 PM
Funny...lol I too produce way too much milk, and have been known to inadvertantly spray innocent bystanders, looking around ignorantly I say "was that rain?" All of my nursing friends complain that they don't produce enough, just glad to know I am not a complete freak.
Posted by Hot Mommy | December 19, 2005 1:35 PM